I got the news last June, and had a far worse 2020 than most others... there were some very bad times.

But they ended. I got finalized on the 12th of last month, and it was done virtually instead of having to actually get dressed and possibly having to interact with the ex. I did it at my desk, wearing a bathrobe, smoking a cigar and having a coffee while it was done over the phone (no video), and it was over in about 20 minutes. When the judge asked me to raise my right hand and take the oath, I raised a middle finger while saying "I do".

Saturday, I'm having a divorce party, having invited several close friends who provided me with the most welcome and life giving support during all this. It's not celebrating the end of the marriage, or even living well to spite the ex (I got the house), but to show thanks for these magnificent people who listened to me bitch and cry, then gave me a variety of perspectives to ponder while I got through it all.

I'm still angry; I still think it's an incredible waste; I still resent all the lies I was told, and deeply resent being made to feel bad when I was actively trying to preserve "Us". But not nearly as much as I was last year... and tomorrow's looking good too.

It ends. For better or worse, it does end. If you're just starting to go down this road, I won't lie to you and say it won't hurt... but it will end, and you'll find joy again. And as much as some guy on the internet can convey, believe me when I say I feel for you... but it will end.

Do what you have to. Date a lot, or don't date at all... watch your drinking, and your eating, take care of yourself physically while your spirit heals. It'll take time, but that void that exists in your soul will close up and scar over. You won't be the same, but that's not so bad either... this is life, and we grow regardless. Decide you're going to not only survive, but to flourish, and that's half the battle. It can be done; I know, I did it, and only after shedding an awful lot of unmanly tears alone in the dark, and sometimes in the middle of the day, parked behind a Home Depot while I composed myself. But I swear by all that's holy... it ends. And you'll be all right.

My best to you all.