I never realized how much I gave up in order to make my marriage work. It was a gradual chipping away of the actions that made me feel loved and good about myself. Sex has been great and with the advent of dating apps readily available. I did realize however, that while fun and enjoyable, it was still not what I really needed. My Ex and I still engaged in a fairly regular sex schedule up until a couple months before I left the home. It wasn't until I was spending time with a new woman, who out of nowhere started to rub my feet and compliment me , that I became profoundly sad. It was that type of action that I longed for my ex to show me. Sweetness, affection and sincerity and the sadness of her never being able to do that hit me hard. The affections I have been fortunate to receive during this process, have been healing. It truly has been like rain after a drought. It gets better Gentlemen, just have to know you are deserving of it.