My neighbor has wanted to go on a bike ride with me

Ok_Cucumber_3402 · 2021-11-07T23:38:03+00:00

I was married for 5 years, and with her for 9, and the majority of the things we did were her ideas and her hobbies. She would get mad at me for not taking more interest in her hobbies, and tell me I spent too much time on mine. I dated a lot right after we separated/divorced, and every woman I met was the exact same. I'd be fishing, and get numerous texts wanting attention or asking when I was coming home. I've been single 3 or 4 years now, and the idea of staying single for life sounds incredible to me! I have a goal to fish every single lake in the province I live in in Canada (which happens to have hundreds of lakes), and there's no way I'll accomplish that with women in the way!

I also have buddies who got married, and a couple of them have been 'trained', as women like to politely put it. I always offer to take them out fishing or hiking, but don't ever hold my breath on it. It's just such a blatant trap in my eyes haha.

dadmacintosh · 2021-11-07T23:40:41+00:00

If you want to accomplish anything, I mean any flipping thing, be single. Women are dream killers.

sicrm · 2021-11-07T22:56:50+00:00

death by 1000 concessions.

lkjaioi22jlkak23 · 2021-11-07T22:59:25+00:00

Many guys think being a "good" husband means being a doormat for their wife. So they literally become a slave to her voluntarily.

research002019 · 2021-11-08T03:46:25+00:00

When I was younger I would see these type of guys and say to myself, "I'd leave before I was that miserable.... I'll never end up like that!"

Then I started making excuses to stay late at work...

Thanks for the reminder OP.

tanotsurewhattodo12 · 2021-11-08T05:08:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ok_Cucumber_3402 · 2021-11-08T18:44:15+00:00

I have one buddy who got me to build something for him, and I asked him what colour he wanted, and his exact answer was "I'll ask the wife, I'm not allowed to pick any colour of anything in our house"... Not allowed... Like a fucking child.

Future-Platform8225 · 2021-11-08T02:46:19+00:00

Yeah won't be getting back into that scene again. Can't wait to start hanging deer heads all over this place.

Connect-Offer9090 · 2021-11-08T05:34:44+00:00

These comments just made me think back to a friend of mine. I would always ask him if he wanted to go golfing with me….always got the I have to ask the wife and 9 times out of 10 he was always busy with stuff she wanted to do. On the odd occurrence that he was able to play….the phone calls were every 10 minutes asking how much longer….what time he will be home. I could see it on his face how annoyed he was that he couldn’t even get away for 3 hours once a month.

DeJohn123 · 2021-11-08T12:57:34+00:00

I'm currently separated from my STBXW... she never had hobbies, quit everything she did in high school (cheerleading, band, etc.) When we met she knew I avidly played basketball, baseball, hockey, golf, pool. She knew this was a big part of my life.

When we had kids, I slowed down. I wanted to be there for my girls as much as I could, but I still wanted 1-2 nights a weeks to do the things I loved. Many would consider it healthy to get out of the house and blow off some steam competing. I granted her the same. 2 nights -- go do whatever you want -- I'll take the kids.

It wasn't enough for her. I had to give it all up. I did. Lost myself in the process. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU.

bobbyb503 · 2021-11-07T23:24:49+00:00

I gave up many of my interests to please my ex. It only created contempt and lead to our split. The biggest perk of singularity is this type of freedom. Looking back, I was more attracted to her sexually and was focused on a maternal partner ( I wanted a family). Shared interests are very important too. Having something to keep you interested in one another outside of the bedroom.

Have you suggested him inviting her? Is it jealousy or control. My ex was more in the control camp. I think she had a plan to "train me". I don't train well, lol. Good luck. I have had challenges maintaining friendships with married friends. I think their wives are scared of us as we represent freedom and my favorite spontaneity.

HeavyT80 · 2021-11-08T16:12:01+00:00

Isn’t that the FN truth. I was with her for 31 years I’m 58. Married a little over 29. Yeah regarding the can’t have fun B cause the wifey get salty.

We are in the process of the Diva Divorce. Trust me she’s no diva.

The regular shit. Knock em up. 2 Kids. Banging her was a chore. Pillow Princess. Woman lies on the Pillow, you do all the work.

Pump and Dump Good Nite.

I was walking around Downtown Phx. I see many couples actually having a Good Time. Bloody Hell, I’m thinking I haven’t had Fun with the Old Lady in 25 years. Meh, I got time, young chicks like older guys

Trust me there out there. Don’t chicken out like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty.

Stick together Men. They see you thru Shit Covered Glasses, a new one I have to give credit to a previous poster. That’s FN Great.

Later Dudes.

Oh I’m sure I’ll be all twisted up later.

Next Court Date 30NOV21.

She gonna be mad as a Murder Hornet. She started it. BS Order of Protection then next day served with papers. Trying for an advantage? Goddamn right. Problem is umm she has a Professional Job. I was a blue collar dude for 28yrs. Oh it’s my fault. OK I got u. Sure.

Oh your scared of me now. I had to leave our home under the guise of a bullshit Order. All the right words. You should get an Academy Award.

That’s the rub. Ok we both agreed it was better to split. Then you Shanghai me with this wounded fawn shit. Stay strong fellas.

Easier said than done. It’s doesn’t hurt, it’s a slow FN Burn. Jesus what an adept Shapeshifter One of the Best

Gattsama · 2021-11-08T21:33:31+00:00

Just separated ~2wks ago. My STBX (most likely not going to reconcile) was a mix on this. I have lots of hobbies / interest, and she claims she supports me (which is partly true). BUT that all my interest are solo (which isn't true). I like exercise, martial arts, coding, gaming, skiing, aviation, travel and reading. She knew all this before we married.

I have a bucket list item of completing a full iron man. So a few years ago I started running and swimming (had never really done so before, have always had a bike of some kind). Her response: why pay money to do something you can do for free on your own, your combative and want to show off, you don't spend time with me and now you want to add another hobby that takes huge amounts of time, etc. etc.

Now that I'm separated (2nd time I moved out in 2 years) I feel so much less stressed. Time doesn't matter to me right now. Huge traffic, no biggie, I'm in no rush to get there, I'll listen to an audio book. Want to go for a run, no rush let me change and go, when will I be back? when I'm done! Hungry, I will eat, no discussion about what do we want or where to go or how to dress.

I remember a few months ago we talking about separating and she said "I'm afraid that if you move out I'll be so happy and things will be so peaceful I won't want you to come back." Well I'm learning that a lot of the s&it she says is actually projection. Because I am at the lowest stress I can remember and nearly drama free!

BlessedAFx777 · 2021-11-09T03:01:49+00:00

Yep. That’s what they do.

Then they complain if you get fat.

time_waste_quicksand · 2021-11-08T00:46:00+00:00

Just saying this as a woman who went through hell divorcing another woman - yes. I do have lots of female friends with husbands also experiencing the opposite. And female friends doing this to their husbands and I will never be able to stomach being around it no matter the gender. I just have to have balance in my next relations, if I have one Jesus.

25_years · 2021-11-08T13:08:34+00:00

Reminds me of a video a saw a few years ago. The intended audience is black American men. But I say it's just as valid for all American men. The part that reminded me starts at 10:20...
https://youtu.be/hwGWCyfPHz8?t=620

Beautiful-Nebula1748 · 2021-11-08T07:05:07+00:00

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Think_Desk_7033 · 2021-11-08T02:14:24+00:00

I think that the husband and wife can come to an understanding like per say mabey the wife joins them but I don't feel that it is right for the wife to keep her husband away from social activities just because these activities involve girls I feel that in a relationship there can always be an understanding

Title	My neighbor has wanted to go on a bike ride with me
Author	dadmacintosh
Upvotes	40
Comments	62
Date	November 7, 2021 10:45 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/qozutj/my_neighbor_has_wanted_to_go_on_a_bike_ride_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/my-neighbor-has-wanted-to-go-on-a-bike-ride-with.1085351 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085351