I want to put this story to the sub and see if it sounds familiar to anybody else.

Pinterest

You come downstairs one day and your wife is on the sofa, fingering her phone.

You catch a glimpse and she's browsing Pinterest. She likes the relationship stuff, and she looks at a few articles on the subject of NPD and gaslighting.

Over time, articles on this subject become the majority of the content she's reading. All stuff on how to spot the signs.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Your wife's head is now filled with this pop psychology, and all your actions are now viewed through the frame it has built.

The cocky-funny flirting that used to make her blush is now a symptom of your over blown ego.

She levels an accusation of poor conduct at you, and you mistakenly engage in apologetics for your behaviour. Everything you say is simply Narcissistic justification for the actions of a self involved misogynist.

Gaslighting

Your wife has become convinced that you are out to shake the foundations of her very sanity.

Again, there is a disagreement. She states her version of events. You provide your own perspective, but it differs from hers.

Uh oh, you are gaslighting her. By giving your own view on matters, you are attempting to convince her of a lie and call into question her own sanity.

It didn't happen like that, and if you say it did, you're attempting to break her will and convince her that black is white, all in the service of your Narcissistic ego.

Now your wife is convinced you are some kind of psychological predator. You've come to realise that engaging with these accusations only digs yourself into a deeper hole. You become convinced that the only winning move is not to play.

So you nip these fights in the bud, and say you need some time to cool off before you can discuss the disagreement.

You are now stonewalling your wife. Your detachment is further testament to your narcissism, which manifests in your disregard for her feelings. Your silence is psychological torture, designed to gaslight her by calling into question her recollection of events, and thus her mental stablilty.

Weeks or months later, your wife tells you she can no longer be with a narcissistic gaslighter, out to break her mind and create a submissive slave.

She has all the justification she needs to throw years down the drain and break up the family you sacrificed for.

Anybody else?