Two days after serving my stbxw and on week two of no contact I receive a message:

“Emergency, please contact me.”

Me: The children are under my custody, they are fed, breathing, not bleeding, safe. No emergency here. You still have insurance, if children need to come see you at hospital I can facilitate. Take care of yourself.

“Please give me a chance to explain, I need to come home, please please!

Me: (went radio silent)

Tbh bros… There hadn't been a day I hadn’t ran to the bathroom to ugly cry, even yesterday so kids wouldn’t see me. Crying into my pillow by myself every night while she discarded me for AP, to awaken just wanting to fuckin die of heartbreak but having to push for my boys and pushing, pushing daily to feel better and getting triggered at the memory of something. Was drunk or hungover like an entire month, I got ignored, ghosted, threatened, blackmailed, demanded on, emasculated for not meeting her financial desires, probably laughed at by her and her Lawyer friends telling her "gurllll stick him with dis gurl, tell him this.." And now you wanna be like ohhh I need to come home!

My dog has more stake in my house as a pet under my lease now!

Giving someone a second chance that does you so dirty is like handing them a second bullet because the first one didn’t take you out.

An unfortunate analogy, but true.

Edit: my reaction was validation. This is monumental for me, i’m no longer Capt Save a ho. This defines what i’m made of and to have the intestinal fortitude and the courage to press on solo to take care of me, to love me for me and be the best dad I can be.