My situation is a little different. My three daughters are all adults. One is a college grad in the work force, the middle is about to finish her Jr. year but is working for an employer who covers her tuition, and the youngest was an early enrollee this semester and just turned 18. As soon as my youngest left for school I had left as I was staying in the marriage as long as I did to stay in my kids' lives and ensure their needs were taken care of since I didn't trust my STBX.

I've been no contact with her, relying on the lawyers to handle any and all communication. She has tried to get my new phone number from my daughters, has been emailing my work email from several different accounts where my employer actually has one of the admins screen my emails before I get them in a different mailbox. In the past month she has been trying to use my daughters to pass me messages. The oldest doesn't play that game, the middle is decent about standing up for herself, but the youngest is easily manipulated by her.

I do not play the game by telling her to tell her mother anything. I just ignore the message and ask her about her day, who school is going, if she needs help with any of her school work etc. Then I tell my lawyer to tell her side to stop that garbage, but to no avail. Once the divorce is final, is she going to keep doing this? Is there anything I can do or do I just have to rely on my daughters being adults and defending themselves?