Is getting married, this is long but I just want to get it off my chest and vent. I’m 39 never had any kids owned my house it was just me and my dog.

I had few ltr that didn’t turn into anything because all of them wanted to get married but I wasn’t ready or knew they weren’t right.

Then I met my stbxw she’s 8 years younger than me had 2 kids from her deadbeat baby dad. She shared a apt with her grandma then they had a falling out because supposedly the gma physically and mentally abused the kids. I stupidly offered her and her kids to move into my house. I don’t know what gotten into me but apparently I thought she was the one and that we can form into a family.

The first year everything was perfect she portrayed herself to be a working “housewife”. She cooked clean decorated the house. Then we got married then slowly she started changing. She worked but from the time I knew her she would jump from job to job because she didn’t like how her supervisor.

Some of the red flags that I was blinded to; -The house started looking like a pigsty she left stuff everywhere, the kids never picked up after themselves, one of the kid room was a mess you couldn’t even walk in there. -She never paid a dime or help me with the bills -only contributed to groceries which she buys food that her and the kids liked which are all junk food - rarely ever cooks some night she will say everyone is on their own - she got long term Covid during the first of the year and was home ridden for 3 months I provided for groceries along that time as well - I work 6 days 50 hr weeks and I can’t even get a consistent home cooked meal , I was bringing good home and cooked for the whole family 2 days out of the week - I was so over worked that one of my coworker told me that I look like I haven’t slept in days, yet my so called wife never mention anything of how I looked or was doing -never got her last name changed to mine making the excuses because of Covid and she didn’t have time because of work -rarely had sex because she claim cause of her long term Covid - claims that her family feels hurt that I rarely talk to them at family events knowing full well I’m a introvert and a quiet person

I thank god that I did not procreate with her, I feel so stupid embarrassed ashamed blinded and demoralized that I let her walk over me and use me as a financial pad for her and her kids only. Im glad I it was for only 2 years I have no one to blame but myself. I keep telling myself it’s only going to get better if only I could turn back time ….