What to ask the lawyer?

ragingredditir · 2022-10-04T02:05:28+00:00

Take screenshots and don’t say anything. Let them keep messaging and let this keep escalating.

You’re leaving her anyways so at this point if it escalates to the point of her cheating, that will only help you. Leave her alone with the shovel and let her dig her own grave

upvotersfortruth · 2022-10-04T02:16:01+00:00

Prime territory for emotional manipulation by a lawyer. Choose the one that encourages you to slow down and plan things out.

GrayCalf · 2022-10-04T00:00:56+00:00

You should probably write a list. Without context or details most of the questions we give you could be useless.

Some categories to think about: - Marital Property - Money & income - Living Arrangements - Alimony - Kids & visitation - Timeframe - Strategies to save you time & money

Oh, and make sure the lawyer actually seems like they'll act in your best interest. The first one I went to was terrible.

captainchippsixx · 2022-10-04T01:04:49+00:00

Don’t tell her until you have everything set up. Make sure you have secured anything important to you. Change passwords. Secure some cash. Prepare for the worst.

BlackHoleSlurpy · 2022-10-03T23:54:29+00:00

Not nearly enough info. State? Kids? If kids, what custody arrangement? If you own the house will it be sold or will one buy the other out?

Kwen_Oellogg · 2022-10-04T07:55:17+00:00

I'm sure you're getting a lot of advice about lawyers, so here is something else for you to consider.

Buy yourself a Voice Activated Recorder. Carry it with you at all times. Load the recordings to a cloud service.

If she ever starts getting hinky pull out your cell phone and start video recording. It doesn't matter if you are in a two-party state. The recording might not be admissible in court, but if she calls the cops on you the recording might be the only thing that keeps you out of jail.

After serving her set up a bedroom for yourself. Guest room or even the basement. If possible put a keyed lock on the door.

Buy some cheap cameras and set them up in your new bedroom. These from Amcrest are good. Make sure you buy some SD cards for them.

Good luck brother.

simjanes2k · 2022-10-04T08:06:40+00:00

Filing tomorrow is too late, and telling her in six months is too soon.

For every scrap of emotion you have in you, sit on it for any plan. Literally everyone here is telling you the same thing for a reason.

Don't be a dick. Plan and be cool. Like it's the most important thing in the universe, because it FUCKING IS.

playerknowmore · 2022-10-04T02:13:50+00:00

You are the shit you eat. She is serving up disrespect. It is as important the version of you; your children see. That is as important as time you spend.

If you Google what percentage of women initiate divorce and you will see it's nearly eighty percent. The level of disrespect she's showing it is only matter of time.

IcyEntertainment8673 · 2022-10-04T03:48:57+00:00

Take a co-parenting course to show the court how proactive you’re being. Get into therapy on the side to help you for the journey ahead. First question to the lawyer is… how can I get my kids? Don’t back down in your search

Ever-learning271 · 2022-10-04T06:07:14+00:00

So sorry to hear this brother…great advice from the others…focus on your health, self-care and the children; all the rest will work out! Get legal advice ( without her knowing), interview with the “hard ass lawyers” (so she can’t hire them)…and stay in the house! Make her move not you if you can swing it! Good luck….my prayers are with you!

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-10-04T09:07:55+00:00

Questions to ask attorneys you're interviewing: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13377

Good luck.

walkingdisaster4046 · 2022-10-04T19:33:41+00:00

Questions to consider for lawyer that you may find helpful:

1) What percentage of cases have been resolved in mediation, collaborative law, arbitration or trial? Do they work towards compromise or fight in court.

2) How many cases are you currently handling? Will signal if overloaded and you maybe an after thought or limited availability.

3) What is the expectation on communication (when, frequency, channel)? What is expect time to respond by lawyer? Don’t want to sit around and get no response for weeks on end.

4) if applicable do they experience with high income earner in conflict mgmt? What about child custody and high conflict?

5) Do they have a paralegal available you can leverage? Will cost you less and help move things along with paperwork and correspondence.

6) Do they know the judge (if already served filed w court)?

7) Ask for high level opinion on how they’d approach/handle your case.

8) What is initial retainer, billing frequency and hourly rates of team (ex: paralegal vs attorney)

Hope that helps.

Title	What to ask the lawyer?
Author	Effective-Count-160
Upvotes	26
Comments	21
Date	October 3, 2022 11:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xuz6q0/what_to_ask_the_lawyer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-to-ask-the-lawyer.1135195 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135195