Why does everyone always side with the woman?

Rare-War7330 · 2023-10-07T15:28:07+00:00

Live in the south! USA It always the woman s fault

Rjs617 · 2022-12-30T17:56:52+00:00

Based on your family siding with your ex, my guess is you could get out a ruler and draw a straight line from your family of origin to your divorce from an abusive narcissist. As I am finding out myself, there are a lot of layers to this onion. Take care of yourself.

Jbr74 · 2022-12-28T17:21:36+00:00

I guess I lucked out, about 90% of our friends and family (including her family) already knew she was a narcissistic bitch long before I eventually woke up. So when we split, most sided with me.

OnYourMarkyMark · 2022-12-28T12:44:00+00:00

They make up narratives to justify their behavior. After enough repetition fueled with raw emotion to reinforce, they begin to believe it themselves You arguing with it seals it. Then you wonder if it’s true and begin to doubt yourself. You stop sharing the truth because it just makes it worse. Her gaslighting becomes the truth and when things do hit the rocks this false narrative is what is shared. Best thing is to know your truth, hold on to it, and become practiced in speaking it. Shed light on it if necessary. If confronted with her false narrative, let her or others who might be repeating it know your truth. It’s ok to let her or others know that she has a different reality and yours is just as valid. Most of my friends and family knew she was not emotionally stable and had a loose relationship with the truth - some examples to that effect are helpful for others to believe you.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2022-12-28T08:26:12+00:00

It's because we take the moral high ground. When women complain about us literally to everyone they are setting the ground work to always make us look like the bad guy but in fact they are the bad ones. People should see right through their bullshit. Women are insecure as shit and they feel better by talking bad about everyone else and the husband gets the worst of it. If a woman really married someone horrible doesn't it make her look stupid for making a bad choice?

playerknowmore · 2022-12-28T02:21:29+00:00

Life has given you the blessing of seeing who is with you and who doesn't have your back. At the same time, you have learned to let people go.

My father used to tell me "Change your mind and change your world."

coffeefrog92 · 2022-12-28T01:34:40+00:00

Made a post about this recently, but all of a sudden my dad and step mum are best buds with my STBXW, planning a party for my kid I wasn't invited to and having her round for Christmas.

My mother and sister cut her off as soon as she walked out.

Very weak, spineless, disappointing shit from my dad.

henrysmyagent · 2022-12-28T00:46:39+00:00

Women lay the ground for their betrayals well in advance.

Your wife has been shit-talking you for years behind your back. This is also a form of betrayal, relationship infidelity, and it is on par with physical & emotional infidelity in its capacity to destroy relationships.

Tell EVERYONE the truth about her. Clearly she has no problem lying about you.

rsmiley77 · 2022-12-27T23:04:39+00:00

Yeah I never fought for the hearts and minds of loved ones. My family already knew the ex was crappy. They had seen the signs. I don’t think even her own family totally bought into what she was saying but she’s family and they accepted her for what she was. Hell, I never lost any sleep over that part.

The annoying part to me was that I never walked into a court room without being guilty upon arrival. So we’d do this dance where I’d keep my cool and I’d lose anywhere from an hour to four hours slowly withering away at her lies. I remember the exact moment the judge figured out they were being duped. The ex cried about how I refused to pay for our child’s final summer of daycare. There were tears and heart touching stories of difficulties overcome. Thankfully I had to send in digital proof every month to get pretax money back for daycare. Every damn time though…. I started off the bad guy…

captainchippsixx · 2022-12-27T21:57:11+00:00

Learn this lesson with women. You need to tell your family/ even your boss before doing something. Sunlight is disinfectant. Put your problems in the light. If they hear hers first then most people tend to believe them.

Guys don’t like to talk about there shit. But if you remain silent you always fight up hill.

I would not talk to those family members for awhile. Tell them “don’t bother, you don’t believe me, stand guy all his life, screw you.”

Sea-Shallot · 2022-12-27T21:54:40+00:00

Google women are wonderful effect

zatanzen · 2022-12-27T21:40:45+00:00

I already understand this, and I feel comfortable with this. When you start to understand, you know what you can't change this, and you just avoid dumb ppl who judge you just because you are the men (>90% women) ignore them and continue with your life, don't sign anything what can get you involved in legal terms with a woman

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-12-27T21:23:56+00:00

Every unhappy woman is a victim.

Stop giving a fuck about being the "bad guy". Stop seeking validation from people. It's cringe. Turn up your Don't Give a Fuck meter another notch. You can't control her behavior. You can only control your reaction to her behavior.

1Cobbler · 2022-12-27T21:04:01+00:00

Have you seen society these days? Everything is a man's fault.

I was lucky in a way that my family saw through her bullshit. They had actually secretly hated her for years for the things she did. But literally everyone on her side just accepted her walking out of her marriage and not one of them called me to wish me luck or anything.

I know if I had of done to her what she did to me I would have had a lot of people tapping me on the shoulder.

Jonger1150 · 2022-12-27T20:46:41+00:00

Being the weaker sex, defending women is seen as helping the helpless and insulting men is punching up.

jimsmythee · 2022-12-27T20:41:42+00:00

Mine did the same, except for false police reports. She cried out to friends and family that she was the victim.

It took time and a lot of “facts” from me to sway them. It took 2 years…. But the facts rang true,

pk2at · 2022-12-27T19:57:28+00:00

You have a bad family for sure, but in general you need to go on the offensive as well

traderjoesbeforehoes · 2022-12-27T19:53:37+00:00

In my case all i need to do is weather the storm, because she always manages to find a way to burn herself. Just ignore as much as you can and let the crazy flow until she FAFOs

BlazedGigaB · 2022-12-27T19:28:07+00:00

Do not let her push you into becoming something you're not. The best victory is living your best life. If that means releasing family relationships, so be it.

But yeah... Even after the Depp/Herd trials you'd think people would acknowledge that there is often more to a story

21YearsofHell · 2022-12-27T19:19:56+00:00

Head on over to BPDlovedones and see if any of it sounds familiar….

RippedOffFather · 2022-12-27T19:19:10+00:00

F them. Cut them off. Loyalty is everything. You learned a lesson. Make new friends. Find new family.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2022-12-27T19:18:52+00:00

Life is not fair. Teach your sons and nephews about the “real world”. Disney/Hollywood poisoned our brains with romantic fairy tales where everyone lives happily every after.

GigaChadwafer · 2022-12-27T19:09:04+00:00

No matter what I’m here for you OP and ones here helping OP with his situation. I’m currently going through a divorce starting tmrw I go to legal. Was in a 4 year relationship currently serving AD and had be alone for my first Christmas

kdthex01 · 2022-12-27T18:59:31+00:00

They do the work.

They plant the seeds years in advance with questions like “did he ever get angry in the past?” and other passive aggressive little comments. I’m not even sure it’s nefarious or strategic, maybe just innate.

All of our shared friends have heard “funny” stories of me forgetting something, getting frustrated, or rubbing one out. If something happens someday that groundwork will turn into some narrative about being violent and addicted to porn. It can never be their fault.

They do the work.

gyozadouda · 2022-12-27T18:57:28+00:00

Only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally.

No one cares about men. We are expendable. It’s a harsh reality but one we have to accept.

joemoorcarz · 2022-12-27T18:27:43+00:00

Unfortunately this is just truth. I have had a hard time with many friends. On top of years of emotional abuse I had video and photo evidence of infidelity. Still get accused of leaving her when she threw me out.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2022-12-27T18:27:28+00:00

Yet another benefit to being a man. Its always your fault.

The only thing you can do is be the calm, rationale one and just eat those crap sandwiches for a while. It may take time but people will eventually see your wife is the crazy one. Don't give people ammunition to use against you and they won't have any bullets in their magazine to hit you with.

ABBucsfan · 2022-12-27T18:27:27+00:00

Sounds like you need so e new friends and some family members should be closer than others. When mine left me my parents, siblings, friends are all like well we are sympathetic but not surprised. Many were like yeah we had our doubts about her from tth start and saw glimpses of some of the crap you had to deal with.

Froma. Societal standpoint though.. yeah heard of the women are wonderful affect?

Title	Why does everyone always side with the woman?
Author	Dml33
Upvotes	44
Comments	45
Date	December 27, 2022 6:22 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/zwm880/why_does_everyone_always_side_with_the_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/why-does-everyone-always-side-with-the-woman.1145571 https://theredarchive.com/post/1145571