I won custody of my son when he was three. There was NO way I was going to let my psychotic, mean, cruel ex-wife have him. There was no cost too high for that fight.
I studied. I learned what to do and what not to do. I wasn't going to trash her or bash her. I wasn't going to engage her when she provoked, prodded, and antagonized. Social media was JUST starting, so I kept my mouth shut online.
I went over my financials. I covered my bases with the necessities such as housing, budgets, health insurance, job security. I lined it all up.
When I appeared before a judge and she asked why I though I was the better choice, it was all about what *I* could bring. I didn't mention the ex at all..I didn't say "I can do this and she can't", or "She does this wrong/bad thing and I don't". It was just what made ME better, and that was it.
The judge retired after that case. She was extremely old and NEVER gave custody to the father until me. She had said she would be on the bench until she died or until she finally had a solid reason to finally award custody to the father.
NEVER ATTACK THE EX!
If the ex has a criminal history, don't even bring it up. Your lawyer will, or the judge will already know. If the judge asks you about it, approach from an angle of CONCERN, not judgement. "Your honor, I don't want to talk about this in a manner that appears I am attacking my ex, but since you asked I DO have concerns about that. I AM afraid that my child would be exposed to these behaviors which could affect their well being. I am concerned that due to <pattern of behavior/rehab/relapse/probation/association> that my child would be exposed to these stressors." If the judge doesn't ask, then don't bring it up.
[–]dday_throwaway3 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]CertainCrow1 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dday_throwaway3 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]CertainCrow1 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Facers701 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
I won custody of my son when he was three. There was NO way I was going to let my psychotic, mean, cruel ex-wife have him. There was no cost too high for that fight.
I studied. I learned what to do and what not to do. I wasn't going to trash her or bash her. I wasn't going to engage her when she provoked, prodded, and antagonized. Social media was JUST starting, so I kept my mouth shut online.
I went over my financials. I covered my bases with the necessities such as housing, budgets, health insurance, job security. I lined it all up.
When I appeared before a judge and she asked why I though I was the better choice, it was all about what *I* could bring. I didn't mention the ex at all..I didn't say "I can do this and she can't", or "She does this wrong/bad thing and I don't". It was just what made ME better, and that was it.
The judge retired after that case. She was extremely old and NEVER gave custody to the father until me. She had said she would be on the bench until she died or until she finally had a solid reason to finally award custody to the father.
NEVER ATTACK THE EX!
If the ex has a criminal history, don't even bring it up. Your lawyer will, or the judge will already know. If the judge asks you about it, approach from an angle of CONCERN, not judgement. "Your honor, I don't want to talk about this in a manner that appears I am attacking my ex, but since you asked I DO have concerns about that. I AM afraid that my child would be exposed to these behaviors which could affect their well being. I am concerned that due to <pattern of behavior/rehab/relapse/probation/association> that my child would be exposed to these stressors." If the judge doesn't ask, then don't bring it up.
Bottom line - DO NOT ATTACK THE EX!
[–]UnitedParents4C[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UnitedParents4C[S] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+]Facers701 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Would have no problem doing so. Where on the site do I go?
[–]UnitedParents4C[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link