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from a nb and trans vent channel on a server. I am green. TLDR I said it was alarming that red proudly calls herself a misandrist and I was torn to shreds. im very tired and frustrated with how anti-man queer spaces are

thirstarchon
April 16, 2022
55 upvotes
/r/EverydayMisandry
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Title from a nb and trans vent channel on a server. I am green. TLDR I said it was alarming that red proudly calls herself a misandrist and I was torn to shreds. im very tired and frustrated with how anti-man queer spaces are
Author thirstarchon
Upvotes 55
Comments 26
Date April 16, 2022 6:08 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit /r/EverydayMisandry
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/EverydayMisandry/from-a-nb-and-trans-vent-channel-on-a-server-i-am.1112480
https://theredarchive.com/post/1112480
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/everydaymisandry/comments/u4rfr9/from_a_nb_and_trans_vent_channel_on_a_server_i_am/
Top posts by thirstarchon

from a nb and trans vent channel on a server. I am green. TLDR I said it was alarming that red proudly calls herself a misandrist and I was torn to shreds. im very tired and frustrated with how anti-man queer spaces are

2 upvotes
April 16, 2022
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Comments

[–]TheLWMA 18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The biggest problem with the terms "Patriarchy" and "Toxic Masculinity" is that the definition of those things change depending on who you ask.

[–]Peptocoptr 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even in the best of interpretations, there are better words that can be used to describe those concepts.

Toxic masculinity: Toxic attitudes towards masculinity or in some cases, internalized misandry

Patriarchy: Gender norms or straight up capitalism

[–]LoveTheGiraffe 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Misoginy bad, misandry good - that's the take those people have and it's horrible. They are far too deep into wokeism

[–]Terminal-Psychosis 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sexist bigotry belongs on #sexist-bigots-vent.

What a bunch of insufferable, hate-spewing asshats.

The hypocrisy is extreme, and they know it damn well.

[–]Urhhh 20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This type of attitude is a large part of the reason I don't feel comfortable in the majority of LBGT+ spaces as a bi man. The complete lack of critical thinking is annoying sure...but when it's something that is so obviously a bad thing and it is brushed aside or even (in this case) celebrated as a net positive. I don't know, I lost hope for these types of people long ago.

[–]thirstarchon[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't know these people well, dont like to make assumptions, and was giving them the benefit of the doubt - maybe they hadn't realized the harm they were doing. And yet my call to empathy was met with ridicule and derision.

Yay for trans inclusive radical misandry.

[–]PrimeWolf88 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Try being a gay conservative. The majority of the LGB community online is rabidly far left, discourages independent thought in favour of group think, and actively attacks and bullies those who don't tow the line. Far left intolerant bullies, the majority of them. They're even openly racist if you happen to be a black conservative.

[–]Urhhh 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Can't say I feel comfortable around conservatives either to be quite honest, there's a pretty large cohort of horrible people there too.

[–]PrimeWolf88 -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pick a western country and the left is intolerant, openly racist. Heck, they're openly homophobic if you're not with them. Open minded and tolerant people are only found in the centre, or the right.

[–]TheLWMA 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Open minded and tolerant people are only found in the centre, or the right.

I don't know about that....

[–]wumpus_woo_ 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

oh my god dude you need new friends wtf

[–]thirstarchon[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I joined this server recently with the intention of making new friends. Since taking these screenshots more people have reacted "this" to the messages of others, but not my own. Seems like they do not agree with me. Gotta admit I'm disappointed to find yet another space that at least tacitly encourages man hate.

[–]Dern_Zambies 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yes we must circle the wagons around our precious sexist because their feelings are more valid due to their status as an "oppressed person". Best of luck finding a better place OP

[–]thirstarchon[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ironically, as a trans person of color, im oppressed more than a cis white woman. But no, all men are trash, so im clearly wrong here.

To be clear I don't like playing oppression Olympics anyway. Better to uplift each other against oppression. But they'd rather make scapegoats and high five each other.

Trans men can benefit from male privilege but we're also very invisible. This can be beneficial as we're not in the spotlight the way trans women are, but it also means that we're constantly told that we're the enemy or that we don't understand oppression :/

[–]Dern_Zambies 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nobody wins in pain poker. Using their experiences and/or identity to justify their explicit biases is just gross. They did that on top of using your identity as an excuse to talk down to you, a fellow member of their community who deserves the same level of respect and decency as anybody else. Except apparently not because you're a man, which is too bad because you were clearly doing your best to be respectful yourself and it was wasted on them.

IMHO male privilege only applies to a certain sub-sect of men and the conversation around it completely ignores that while also pretending women's privilege and men's issues don't exist. Trans men face their own unique challenges but they're only getting into the "boy's club" if they pass as well as check a number of other boxes that many cis dudes don't. I'm glad they aren't targeted the way trans women are but I'm well aware of the campaign to undermine the validity of trans men and I'm not down with the idea that being ignored counts as "privilege".

Better to uplift each other against oppression

Hell yeah

[–]thirstarchon[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks so much for your comment. I felt like I was going crazy since they were all so against me. I feel sane again because you understand

I hope u have an awesome day!

[–]country2poplarbeef 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Complex men feelings." Lol, wonder if they contain "complex" women feelings the same way. Guess men are just too hysterical, huh? 🙄

[–]MelissaMiranti 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They said it's supposed to be a safe space. Apparently that means safe for them, actively harmful for you.

[–]DekajaSukunda 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Just wondering... what did men vent about in #men-vent? Because if it's the kinda space I think it is... I don't think that's a safe space for men at all...

[–]thirstarchon[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't be able to tell you. I didnt read what was in the channel and I left the server.

[–]DekajaSukunda 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for replying, since the thread was old I thought you wouldn't read maybe.

What was this server for, specifically?

[–]thirstarchon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was a local kink scene server

[–]National-Aardvark-721 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

OP I think you need to pick your battles. If you start drama over little things like this people won’t take misandry seriously.

[–]Napkinpope 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah, the irony of someone, who is discussing an experience they had as a target of everyday misandry, goes to a sub devoted to discussing everyday misandry, and effectively gets told to man up and shut up. 🤦‍♂️

[–]Kuato2012 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

OP is within the scope of the subreddit.

[–]Is_This_Safe_To_Eat 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Holy chronically online Batman”. The fucking irony.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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