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If moving in with a guy make it known ahead "you will not be their mom, they are expected to also clean, cook, wash dishes, etc"

September 1, 2021

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Post Information
Title If moving in with a guy make it known ahead "you will not be their mom, they are expected to also clean, cook, wash dishes, etc"
Author Reasonable_Amoeba_89
Upvotes 16
Comments 6
Date September 1, 2021 7:55 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/EverydayMisandry
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[–]Reasonable_Amoeba_89[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is a constant in the feminist world and on the face of it looks perfectly reasonable. Men and women should share household work equally but there is subtle misandry here.

The narrative is always "Don't allow men to expect you to do everything" which is fine and honourable. However they always fail to mention that other, more traditionally masculine, chores should be on women too. That is:

  • If a light bulb goes I expect you to understand the difference between a bayonet and screw fitting and to be able to change it. If we are out of lightbulbs I expect you to be able to take the broken lightbulb out and buy the correct (wattage, LED / Dimmable etc) from the local store and fit it
  • When the wifi goes down I expect you to have a basic understanding as to where the router is, how to reboot it, that you reboot the internet service provider's modem first then our router afterwards. You perform some investigation (does the internet work on your phone / tablet / laptop) first rather than just hollering down the stairs at me the second it goes down
  • If your car is playing up I expect you to have a basic understanding as to how the engine works, be able to verify plugs, hi tension leads etc are connected and looking good. I expect you to be able to use the ODB2 connector to get the fault codes from it and google what they may mean and how you fix them
  • Similarly I expect you to be able to jump start your car and understand the importance of connecting the jump leads in the correct way
  • You should be able to use a drill, and be able to put up shelves in a straight manner
  • You should be able to put together flat pack furniture without needing constant help and guidance. Flat pack furniture is not about you doing your best then calling me in if it goes wrong it's about you getting it put together from start to finish and disposing of all the packaging it came in so it's removed
  • I expect you to know where the fuse box is, and how to reset a fuse if something trips.

That's not a case of asking me how to do that, it's about being self reliant and if you don't know how to do it then you go to google and watch videos on how to do what you need to do.

Ultimately the misandric message coming through is men are lazy and expect women to do all of the household chores. The truth is usually far different. Women will often look blankly at a car engine that won't start, or broken wifi, or flat pack furniture that's not gone together properly. I've rented houses to single women who have expected me, as landlord, to act as surrogate father.

If I followed the misandric advice, to the letter, then I would've left single women in total darkness, without electricity, in houses because "don't expect me to be your dad".

Yet, with the misandric advice as given, you never, never, never see misandrists urge themselves to be self sufficient and to take their share of the household chores.

[–]JiiSik 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

These misandrists are extremely one-sided. Hence why they'll be the most non-traditional woman possible, but demand traditional qualities from men. You won't hear them mention what they're doing in a relationship dynamic. They put all the responsibilities on the man

They also tend to project themselves onto men a lot. Especially with that whole, "you want your woman to be your second mom" talking point of theirs.

[–]elmiraguth 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is not really misandry. I can understand the sentiment. Of course as a guy, you reply: And I will not be your breadwinner, we split all expenses equally (or at least proportionally to each one's income).

[–]Reasonable_Amoeba_89[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think it's subtle but it's definitely there. The suggestion is that some men are lazy, and expect women to do all of the housework. In some cases that's true, but for some women it'll also be true: "Men, before you move in with your girl be clear and explain to her that you are not going to be her dad and she needs to be able to change a light bulb, put flatpack furniture together and to be able to fix a blown fuse".

People can struggle to transition to living away from their parents, it's not gender specific, and to suggest it is limited to males is misandry.

[–]authorizationbatman 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you don't think it's misandry, then you don't know what misandry is, and by extension, don't belong here. So leave.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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