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Is "Respect Women" Sexist?

July 19, 2022

May not exactly be entirely topical for this sub but I think it fits in a way. We always hear constantly about respecting women and girls, but practically never anything about men and boys, which is arguably misandrist in and of itself and has no doubt only contributed to socially acceptable misandry for years and even decades by now.

I get so irritated whenever I hear about respecting women and girls, and downright furious when I see things like boys in schools being taught to have respect for women and girls, but absolutely nothing about girls also being taught to respect men and boys. Respect is always earned, never given, and it goes for both men and women alike. Some of the worst and most unrespectable people I've ever had the displeasure of knowing have been women, and for so many years it's been ingrained and enforced in society that women are always to be unconditionally respected just for the sake of it and not because they're good people who've actually earned it. We never hear anything about also having respect for men and boys, and we wonder why there's such a bad male mental health problem.

I think enforcing the notion of respecting women just for the sake of it is definitely sexist and so is respecting men for the sake of it. Respect is always earned and never automatically granted on the basis of gender. I respect good men and women alike who've both earned it and deserve it, and have nothing but disdain for bad men and women who don't conduct themselves in a good or respectable manner at all. Plus saying to respect women no matter what is sexist in and of itself, because aren't there also men who deserve respect? Even a bad or outright evil woman is to be respected? You mean to tell me I should have respect for a woman like Amber Heard or Ghislaine Maxwell, even when they've done the horrible things they did? Or women who spout hateful rhetoric like Ann Coulter, Marjorie Greene, Tomi Lahren, etc. or whackjob feminists like Charlotte Proudman or Emrazz (just look at their Twitter posts if you can stomach it, ugh). I have less than zero respect for these women. I respect women who actually deserve it and have earned it, I don't automatically grant it to women like these.

I think this sends an awful message to impressionable young girls too because it instills a sense of entitlement to being given respect and special treatment on the basis of gender and that males are not to be regarded with any sort of respect or kindness. Sends an awful message to boys too, who are regularly being bombarded with so much misandry and not given any sort of encouragement or empowerment at all and are basically being told they don't deserve respect. I have to wonder if this whole "respect women" notion is a major reason why some male victims of female criminals never come forward with their stories, particularly boys, when men and boys alike are victimized and harmed by women at much higher rates than believed or reported. Young males are so bombarded with the "respect women" nonsense that if they've been violated or harmed in anyway by a woman or girl they feel it's disrespectful to report her and somehow it's okay if it's done by a female when it's wrong either way. I think arguably it's another way of how so many bad women are absolved of any sort of accountability and responsibility.

I think respect for anyone, male and female alike, always has to be earned. You don't automatically command it for being male or female. I get so irritated whenever I see or hear anything about respecting women because gender alone never warrants automatic respect. Respect good and respectable men and women alike, that's all. If "respect men" were a thing as well I'd honestly also take issue with it for the reasons I outlined before. Respecting someone just because of gender isn't only sexist but arguably dangerous as well.

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[–]Kuato2012 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would say it is sexism, yes. For all the reasons you articulated.

If I had two children but always punished one while praising the other, and always taught one they had to respect the other but not vice versa, gave one of them endless boosts and opportunities but not the other, that would be abusive. I guess it's our privilege as men to be subjected to that kind of abuse because of... shuffles notes ...a fictitious account of history? That can't be right...

[–]EddgeLord666 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Would it be sexist to say respect men? If so, then yes.

[–]Skeleton_Warrior[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think to automatically respect anyone based solely on gender is sexist and especially if said respect isn't extended to the other.

[–]NoZookeepergame453 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

God that‘s a stupid take

[–]BloomingBrains 3 points4 points  (32 children) | Copy Link

My policy is that I respect anyone by default until they prove they’re not worthy of it. Just because Amber Heard exists doesn’t mean all women are like that. Even if you think 99% are like that, if there is even a chance of meeting one who is not then you should give them the benefit of the doubt.

Respect women isn’t any less true than respect men simply because people say the latter and not the former.

However I do think it’s funny that people always say respect women but yet the guys who actually do respect them get called nice guys, betas, incels, and virgins. It should come as no surprise that some guys decide to ignore that advice.

But again two wrongs don’t make a right.

[–]Skeleton_Warrior[S] 2 points3 points  (31 children) | Copy Link

But it implies to respect women by default as a whole and not individuals who actually deserve to be treated and regarded respectfully. A good, kind person who actually deserves to be treated respectfully, sure. This goes for both men and women alike. But automatically respecting someone just because of their gender and applying that to their entire demographic, no. Respect is earned by individuals.

Furthermore we never hear anything about also having respect for men. Respect for one but not the other isn't equality and fairness at all.

[–]Shuber-Fuber 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I believe the phrase original assumption is that men respect each other as a default until proven otherwise, and that said default assumption should be extended to women.

[–]Skeleton_Warrior[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

But that's just it, it's never also mentioned or emphasized to respect men as well. We always hear about men and boys needing to respect women and girls, but never the other way around.

[–]Shuber-Fuber 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

As I said, the respect men part is assumed. At least that's how I read it, a reminder that women also deserve the respect you give to men as a default.

[–]Consistent_Ebb5876 0 points1 point  (26 children) | Copy Link

It implies to respect women as a group of people with the same value as men. This is about sexism. Disrespect towards men is nowhere near as common.

[–]Skeleton_Warrior[S] 1 point2 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

It's much more common than believed. What would you call something like "kill all men" and how it's socially acceptable, whereas kill all women would immediately get a backlash?

Respecting anyone purely because of gender is arguably sexist in and of itself. I respect good individual men and women alike who deserve it and have earned it, I don't give it automatically because of gender.

[–]Consistent_Ebb5876 0 points1 point  (24 children) | Copy Link

Maybe because men killing women is far, far more common than women killing men. There's a difference between violence people see on a regular basis and something that is obviously a joke.

You're not respecting them because of their gender. You are respecting them because they're human beings. Telling men to respect women is just telling them to not act like misogynistic assholes.

[–]Dapper_Revolution_65 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would say it is sexist, but not the worst sexism I have seen. When it comes to respect here is how it works for me:

I give everyone a certain baseline level of respect. A starting point. I'm not giving someone extra respect because they have a vagina. That's ridiculous. Nor am I going to deduct respect points because they do not have a penis. As both of these things are not something they can choose or change.

Then after I get to know the person and after I interact with them, or find out information about them. The person keeps or breaks promises. That amount of respect I have for them will either go up, or down.

Generally speaking the best way to be "Respected" is to be "Respectable".

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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