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transandrophobia, misandry against trans men, and finding joy in positive masculinity as a young trans boy

moonsnogger
November 1, 2022
27 upvotes
/r/EverydayMisandry

This is a weird one, but I am just in the mood to hear some uplifting stories I guess. I am trans (ftm) and have one friend whos family I am out to. I have a very conservative and intolerant family myself, so the fact that theirs treats me like an extra son is just the most incredible feeling in the world. They ask me to help carry in groceries, call me masculine terms, and the dad always asks “So… any new girls in your life?” whenever i come round to visit. The brother talks to me like I’m one of the boys.

Being trans is not easy at all, both in real life and online. And I’ve seen a whole lot of negativity (albiet often jokingly) directed toward tguys especially. Even in the most lefty feminist spaces. Ive often been told that me transitioning means the world is “loosing another lesbian” or like I’m somehow ashamed of my birthsex. It makes me feel rubbish if im honest. It makes me feel like I’m just trying to take the “easy way out” even though all I’m being is myself. I know its all jokes, but I no longer feel comfortable coming out to people and having the immediate reaction being “ew, so youre a straight man now?”. I know its in jest, but it just feels like transphobia hidden behind a veil of feminist values. I sometimes use mascara to add fake fluff to my face and my sibling says I look like a pedophile or something. I just want to feel like myself.

But having a family like that supporting me, treating me the way I want to be treated… it just feels so nice and comforting. It makes seeing my own younger brother (cis) begin to have the body and voice I desperately want but cant have just a bit easier.

Thats all, man. I love masculinity when its utilized in healthy ways. I cannot wait to finally be myself and have the body I want. I know this isnt really the place for “trans joy” but. I dont know. I guess its just some thoughts I have on the demonization of masculinity whether intentional or not.

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Post Information
Title transandrophobia, misandry against trans men, and finding joy in positive masculinity as a young trans boy
Author moonsnogger
Upvotes 27
Comments 4
Date November 1, 2022 10:00 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit /r/EverydayMisandry
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/EverydayMisandry/transandrophobia-misandry-against-trans-men-and.1138579
https://theredarchive.com/post/1138579
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/everydaymisandry/comments/yj4kbb/transandrophobia_misandry_against_trans_men_and/
Red Pill terms in post
misandryfeminist
Top posts by moonsnogger

Finding validation in positive masculinity as a young transguy

103 upvotes
November 1, 2022
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Comments

[–]Sinistaire 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And I’ve seen a whole lot of negativity (albiet often jokingly) directed toward tguys especially. Even in the most lefty feminist spaces. Ive often been told that me transitioning means the world is “loosing another lesbian” or like I’m somehow ashamed of my birthsex. It makes me feel rubbish if im honest. It makes me feel like I’m just trying to take the “easy way out” even though all I’m being is myself. I know its all jokes, but I no longer feel comfortable coming out to people and having the immediate reaction being “ew, so youre a straight man now?”. I know its in jest, but it just feels like transphobia hidden behind a veil of feminist values.

Yeah, this is what got me disillusioned with feminists. There's an undercurrent of misandry, both over and covert, in the movement. And despite many claiming that they support trans rights, deep down, TERFism is the only logical endpoint of misandy.

I've seen trans men hold on to the label of "lesbian" because deep down, they know that if they admitted to being straight men, they'd get shit on by other feminists.

[–]moonsnogger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks man. I’m surprised by the support this post has gotten actually. I’ve been extremely busy and havent had the time to check on it. But I think youre onto something there.

Listen, I’m so for equal rights, obviously. And for women, cis or trans, talking about their experiences with shitty men. But I think there are some serious dangers with demonizing all expressions of masculinity and of manhood. You’ll see many feminists say “trans rights” and in the same breath claim healthy expressions of masculinity as a “red flag”, and spout out the same TERF rhetoric of “tmen exist because they‘re insecure of their femaleness”. It’s frustrating, because the only way i can ever convince these people that they’re wrong is by making them read my mind. Also yeah, theres a similar thing going on with trans dudes who dont go on T for fear that they will “act like cis men”. Maybe someone smarter and older than me can come to an interesting conclusion there.

[–]psychosythe 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well my dud I can promise you transitioning to being a man is not the easy way out of anything lol. Is it too mean to tell them you're transitioning to get away from lesbians?

[–]Input_output_error -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I sometimes use mascara to add fake fluff to my face and my sibling says I look like a pedophile or something. I just want to feel like myself.

I'm not going to pretend to know what it is like to be transgender, because i really don't. But wanting to feel like myself is something that i do understand.

Let me start of by saying you are allowed to feel like yourself, do not let anyone tell you anything different. You are allowed to feel and be yourself, if people can not live with the person that you are, they are not worth spending any energy on.

That being said, do you truly know who 'you' are? I know this is a loaded question, specially for someone in the position that you are in. But it is a very valid question, what makes 'you', you? Are you defined by your gender? I am sure that gender is something you define yourself with, but is that the thing that really defines 'you' as a person?

Don't get me wrong, im not trying to imply that you are wrong in thinking that you are trans. As again, i have no idea. But you said:

It makes me feel like I’m just trying to take the “easy way out” even though all I’m being is myself.

To me there is nothing 'easy' about being trans nor does transitioning into the other sex even vaguely resemble anything approaching 'easy'. Those things seem incredibly hard and intense to me and i can not imagine anyone doing something like that and think of it as 'the easy way out'. No my dude, aint nothing easy about any of that.

If this is what you need to do, then go do it and more power to you my friend! But don't think of it as 'the easy way out' because it isn't.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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