29 years old. Very Successful Academically yet Unable to Garner the Interest of Females

EntertainmentNeat592 · 2022-10-05T05:48:22+00:00

Well for one stop referring to women as “females” when you have no problem calling human male as “men.” Your entire post dehumanizes women and you wonder why you have problem with women? I am uncomfortable with you and I don’t even know you.

I bet those “lesser intelligence” men has far more emotional and social intelligence than you and respect women as a person and talk to them like normal human being.

softnmushy · 2022-10-05T05:53:47+00:00

I have no doubt you are highly intelligent, but it appears that you are below-average in certain aspects of emotional intelligence.

You have been told you make women uncomfortable. Your writing style reflects a highly condescending attitude to other people. But most women are drawn to charisma, humor, empathy, confidence (not arrogance), and humility. This is especially true of women in academia. My impression is that you do not have these skills.

Have you ever sought any kind of therapy to improve social skills and emotional intelligence?

SweelFor- · 2022-10-05T06:43:46+00:00

They're called women

yourwildlight · 2022-10-05T06:51:56+00:00

I agree with others are saying about you calling men “men” but women “females”. If you’re othering women in your head then it will come across in your actions as well. You said you’ve been excluded from gatherings because you make women uncomfortable. Could you say what a typical interaction with women is like for you? What happened the last time you spoke to a woman you were interested in?

Red_Trapezoid · 2022-10-05T10:39:03+00:00

My guy, you are not "successful academically" you are still working on getting a Philosophy PHD, something you will struggle with unless you get a clue and develop some social and emotional intelligence which I can see that you totally lack. You saying that you are "successful academically" at this point is like an unemployed person saying they are an "entrepreneur".

These people of "lesser intelligence" are clearly socially smarter than you as they are managing to interact with women without immediately putting them off or making them uncomfortable. A pretty low bar.

Humble yourself a bit and for the love of god stop referring to women as "females" like they are breeding stock. You don't like college binge drinking culture? Cool, neither do I. You don't have to partake in it. You don't have to associate with anyone who does. But if you think you are "so much better" than these people I can promise you that you absolutely are not.

I knew a guy with the exact same worldview that you have. He ended up quitting college thinking that he could do better(he couldn't), fell for a pyramid scheme because he fell for the recruiter's flattery(they told him how intelligent he was), got lost in ridiculously dumb conspiracy theories because he thought "if most other people don't believe it then it's probably true, most people are dumb and I am smart" and his current energy is just a suffocating aura of self-pity. That could be you in 10 years easily.

Instead it would be better for you just to realize that you've got a lot to learn when it comes to human dynamics. Also just a hunch but I've got a feeling that you've got issues with women that need sorting out.

Naus1987 · 2022-10-05T06:01:35+00:00

Word, you’re working on a doctorate in philosophy, and you can’t grasp why people would drink?

Surely you’ve heard of absurdism. What the hell are they teaching you? Your school is scamming you!

w1gw4m · 2022-10-05T08:58:57+00:00

Academic achievement isnt a predictor for the success of one's interpersonal relationships. Why even stress so much that you're a high achiever academically?

You sound arrogant / condescending and you dehumanize women. Very likely that this is your answer.

2022-10-05T08:52:25+00:00

First really simple thing you can do that will help, please stop calling women "females". Most people find it dehumanising and purposefully impersonal.

Secondly, as others have said, you seem to value book smarts as the only valuable intelligence, but don't seem to put much weight on emotional intelligence.

Genuine question here, what tangible benefit does you being highly intelligent bring to a relationship? When everything else in the world is pushed to the side and it's just you and a theoretical partner, in what way does you being highly intelligent add to your relationship with that person?

DasXbird · 2022-10-05T08:57:23+00:00

Have you considered doing some meditation and therapy?

Your intellect is obviously really important to you. You hold it in high regard, and unconsciously assume that others should hold it in the same esteem. That's how it looks from post. It does sound like you have a bit of a superiority complex.

Speaking of "females" tells me that you don't really have a healthy relationship to your own feminine side, if you did, then you'd be able to see every girl as an individual instead of just one of those.

Maybe a good first step would be to stop thinking and start feeling. Just place your awareness in your body every day for 5 minutes without trying to understand or analyze.

Reasonable-Pea-162 · 2022-10-05T17:07:12+00:00

As others have said, you probably need to work on your attitude and way you interact with women.

You sound entitled and a tad insufferable, going on about academic achievements.

Ok so you're well educated, in philosophy. Being educated is certainly a good trait, but don't expect to moisten panties by the fact you've spent a lot of time in a classroom studying a topic that many just aren't interested in.

Intelligence and education is just one aspect of what could be attractive. I think being intelligent as opposed to dumb/arrogant, uninformed, is what women want. But having a PHD doesn't really put you above other men with less time sitting in a classroom, who are intelligent as well.

Do you go to the gym and have a nice body? Dress decently? Do you make a decent amount of money? Own a home or working towards ownership? You aren't a kid anymore and these things matter more than being able to sit around and discuss philosophy for hours on end. What are your career goals? I would assume academia.

You go on about how you're so brilliant and your studies. When you meet a woman, are you curious at all about her? Or is your first response to go on about your schooling in an attempt to impress? Because it's likely she will pick the fit guy with a good sense of humour, who treats her well, and is on a good career path, who she can bring to social events and he won't go around thinking he's the smartest in the room or having a need to prove he is.

You sound really socially awkward and possibly a bit boring. You don't need to drink to have fun, but it sounds like you need to lighten up and see the good in other people, instead of having a superiority complex about people who are having more success than you.

Aggressive_Orange855 · 2022-10-05T05:30:54+00:00

Hate to break it to you, but for most women intelligence isn't a deal breaker, for alot its a bit of a turn on but as you have noticed women will put up with some quite stupid men and intelligence doesnt supersede physical characteristics unfortunately.

As for alcohol, well if you are in the west, most people drink especially women in your age range. There are plenty who don't however so would be good to check out dry events.

As for being excluded because of making females uncomfortable; this is kind of a red flag here. I would suggest you take some time off of dating and focus on being self-aware during your interactions with women; see what is making them pull away and feel uncomfortable and stop doing that. It would also be good to get a straight answer from your friends who are excluding you, if you dont already know what behaviors you are doing that are offputting

Ok-Blacksmith-9418 · 2022-10-05T07:00:45+00:00

This is satire

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-10-05T05:09:06+00:00

In academia it has been difficult for me to watch men who I deemed of lesser intelligence have such success with females.

Intelligence is one thing women find attractive but its only a small part.

I wondered what they had that I didn't.

Better interpersonal skills, more physically attractive, or more financially successful.

I am highly intelligent and currently working on a PhD in philosophy and yet no females I talk to seem to care one bit about about my academic success.

Most people find philosophy boring. But by all means chat away about philosophy with others who enjoy it.

I have never had a drop of alcohol and I cannot fathom a more imbecilic way to spend one's time. Yet I constantly see females flocking to these complete buffoons of men who drink copious quantities of alcohol;

Actually studies have found that alcohol were beneficial to societies because they lower social inhibition which creates greater social connection and more creativity.

I often find that females are somewhat put off by me and that friends of mine have excluded me from social gatherings where females are present as apparently I make them uncomfortable.

Thats because you have poor interpersonal skills some of which may result from mental health issues. Maybe work on improving that.

2022-10-05T12:24:50+00:00

‘Women suck because they don’t want to talk about how awesome I am’

I have an IQ of 142, I am interested in some nerdy shit but your attitude sounds offputting. You barely even mentioned your field of study, which could create common ground for you with a women, but instead you are focused on your achievements and perceived superiority above other men. You also appear to see a girlfriend as a statistical inevitability achieved through harassing enough women over a period of time rather than someone you will actually develop a meaningful connection with. A woman is just another conquest and acquisition to you, like your accolades.

Who actually are you outside of academia? What are you passionate about? What brings you joy?

agollnick · 2022-10-05T14:14:15+00:00

If your friends are telling you that you make women uncomfortable, it’s probably a lot worse than what they are saying. Coming from someone who had a friend who made women uncomfortable I would always sugarcoat it because the truth was so harsh I would try to frame it as it was something he could work through, when in my mind I saw little to no hope because of how quickly women ran when he opened his mouth. Having a PHD and not drinking is not something that women are generally attracted to, unless they are on the same wave but I have a feeling those are not the types of women you go for. Through your post it seems like you still hold red pill beliefs, that women pick up on. Women can see through any wall you put up and are generally turned off by this. Remember to put the blame on your own personality, not your looks, your education, women, guys around you. I think all the replies here are telling you the same thing. It’s your personality and you are at the age where it will soon become permanent, please take what everyone here is saying as honest advice. We all want to see you win and move through this. We are strangers so we have no reason to lie. Hope you the best in your growth.

breemakin · 2022-10-05T06:08:16+00:00

First, please stop calling women “females”.

Second, reflect on your actions that might make women feel uncomfortable. I know you feel women should be impressed by your intellect but do your male companions regularly notice and praise your intelligence? Do you expect them to be impressed and point it out? When you have conversations with women, how do they usually play out? Do you dominate the conversation with your own thoughts, do you disregard what the women you’re talking to have to say, do you feel that you’re always the smartest in the room?

Most women don’t care for extreme intelligence unless they themselves are extremely intelligent. The base line is hold a good conversation about a wide variety of topics and be able debate in a fair and considerate manner - that’s what most women want in a partner.

What else do you have to offer women? A home? Children with solid genetics? Are you kind, considerate, compassionate? Money and/or the means to provide a stable and comfortable lifestyle?

I am happy to help you gain perspective but please understand that social ability is something learned. These other men just didn’t pop out of the womb knowing how to communicate with women. There’s still hope!

fathergoose77 · 2022-10-05T18:04:52+00:00

As someone who is considered academically intelligent due to having a higher/graduate level education and working in STEM, you sound pretentious.

I say this out of love and hope it is a wake up call. Intelligence is important and it’s great you value it so highly, however keep in mind that every single person you meet knows about something more than you do and you can never meet a person you cannot learn from.

Also, there is a type of personality I come across in higher academia a lot where the person just REALLY wants to sound smart and and impress people with their smarts because this is the only thing they value about themselves and may be insecure about other aspects in their life. No one wants to be friends or in a relationship with that person because they are always trying to one-up everyone and can’t just be chill and work as a team/community and can’t genuinely connect because they always need to be right rather than be seen as imperfect. Check yourself. Are you this person?

Focus more on what it was specifically that may have made women (not FEEEEEmales) uncomfortable rather than pitting it as “They’re too dumb to understand”.

EmbarrassedEmu27 · 2022-10-05T05:52:25+00:00

There very limited information to say anything here.

Are you implying all men who don’t have PhD should die single?.

Will you date an ugly woman with social anxiety & poor communication if she has an double PhD because of her PhD? In different situation different skill needed just IQ is not enough in social situations.

How does your “male” friends treat you when there is no women around? Do they get impressed with your intelligence and praise you for it? Who is your best friend and what does he say about you? Why haven’t you asked your friends about what is the actual reason? Is making assumptions instead of actually asking your friends a wise thing to do?

Who are part of this peer group you are referring to-are they fellow women who are pursuing PhD or young college girls?

The hypothesis in your post can be spinned out to any situation. If you ask an Americans they will say immigrants are stealing their jobs, if you ask a white they will say diversity quota is letting in all untalented brown and black men in.

In reality nothing is zero some game. There is space for everyone to exist.

_Woodrow_ · 2022-10-05T09:15:49+00:00

How’s your emotional intelligence?

boredbitch2020 · 2022-10-05T10:02:44+00:00

Que ferengi meme

carritotaquito · 2022-10-05T19:31:19+00:00

First, please stop calling women “females”.

THIS!!!!

When you have conversations with women, how do they usually play out?

Good question…

Most women don’t care for extreme intelligence unless they themselves are extremely intelligent.

I do not consider myself extremely intelligent, just well read. But a man who’s highly intelligent IS very sensual TO ME!!!!!

I literally masturbate to Neil de Grasse Tyson’s audiobooks. Why? Both his voice AND his intellect are sensual. And he as a MAN is also handsome as well.

Do you dominate the conversation with your own thoughts, do you disregard what the women you’re talking to have to say, do you feel that you’re always the smartest in the room?

Then again, when men monopolize the conversation and I feel I can’t participate as an equal… it’s a TURN OFF!!

carritotaquito · 2022-10-05T19:38:37+00:00

I abandoned redpill philosophy a few years ago. In academia it has been difficult for me to watch men who I deemed of lesser intelligence have such success with females.

Damn it, are you some Ferengi?!

I wondered what they had that I didn't.

Is this you? I’m sure this is you.

I am highly intelligent and currently working on a PhD in philosophy and yet no females I talk to seem to care one bit about about my academic success.

What else do you bring to the table?

I have never had a drop of alcohol and I cannot fathom a more imbecilic way to spend one's time.

You don’t have to drink and stick to Diet Pepsi as the group’s Designated Driver.

I often find that females are somewhat put off by me and that friends of mine have excluded me from social gatherings where females are present as apparently I make them uncomfortable.

No wonder why! This post ALONE is so massively off-putting.

It comes off as if you’d suck your own Johnson if you could!!!!

notmeansorry · 2022-10-06T05:19:56+00:00

that buffoon is getting laid, dummy. why don't you drop the holier than thou attitude and use your big brain to learn something from him. maybe you are smarter than him but clearly he is doing something right, right? What you are describing is social drinking. Alot of people don't like drinking or even the taste of alcohol but partake for social movement/inclusion.

your problem is that you are venting about your situation instead of looking at what is causing you to be in your situation in the first place. You and your actions. what are you doing that is making women be offput and uncomfortable around you? to the point that you are excluded from events!!?? this is pretty extreme and if you want to improve your romantic life, you have to acknowledge and address the issue. do the work

2022-10-05T17:53:02+00:00

In academia it has been difficult for me to watch men who I deemed of lesser intelligence have such success with females. I wondered what they had that I didn't

I think your humility just set you up for failure in this superficial society

Angry_Sparrow · 2022-10-05T23:22:07+00:00

“garner the interest of females”. Red flag. Trying to sound intelligent with outdated word usage. This isn’t 1800s England. Also… FEMALES. Ugh.

In academia it has been difficult for me to watch men who I deemed of lesser intelligence have such success.

Red flag. Insecure. Judgemental. Super patronising of other men. Rude. Unkind.

I wondered what they had that I didn’t.

Red flag. Insecure.

I am highly intelligent and currently working on a PhD in philosophy and yet no females I talk to seem to care one bit about about my academic success.

Red flag. Insecure. Narrow minded (people are attracted to more than just achievements/natural talent). FEMALES (blazing red flag).

I have never had a drop of alcohol and I cannot fathom a more imbecilic way to spend one’s time.

Red flag. Judgemental. Repressed. Condescending.

Yet I constantly see females flocking to these complete buffoons of men who drink copious quantities of alcohol;

Red flag. Judgemental. Insecure. Condescending.

Genuinely curious… are you on the spectrum/autistic. It’s not uncommon to use English the way you do for people with ASD.

tomowudi · 2022-10-05T23:27:09+00:00

Intelligence is very useful for solving problems - and terrible at helping people FORGET their troubles.

Sometimes people don't want to think, they just want to have fun and relax.

When people drink, they are lowering their inhibitions along with dropping their IQ a point or two. The reason why the exchange is worth it for them is because rather than focusing internally on ideas and abstractions they are able to focus on the people they are sharing the creation of NEW MEMORIES with.

Another problem with intelligence is that it can blind you to your own ignorance. Sure you can manage a ton more complexity than those around you - but managing complexity doesn't always lead you to the most parsimonious conclusion. Sometimes the best solution is to simply appreciate what you have and WHOM you have.

Something that I've noticed about your post is that you talk a lot about not being appreciated, but you make no mention about what sort of women you appreciate being around. Women are just people - find some lesbians to make friends with and you may start to realize how much your focus on what you WANT from women is getting in the way of just enjoying what they share with you while you enjoy an activity or a mutual interest.

At the end of the day, people spend time with those that they are the most comfortable around. A guy may be a buffoon, but buffoons can be FUN! Alcohol may be stupid, but doing stupid things can be FUN!

You are working on your PHD in philosophy, so perhaps this is something you haven't truly considered. While objective truth may be incredibly important, subjective experiences are quite literally the only thing you can possibly care about. Our motivations as lifeforms is grounded in our emotions - and we do not choose how we feel about anything. Your feeling is something that comes from YOU.

So everything that brings you joy - that good feeling comes from you. And all of those bad feelings - they come from you too. They exist inside of you and you either process them consciously or you become a slave to their subconscious ebb and flow.

Something interesting about philosophy is where it intersects with psychology - cognitive distortions are simply logical fallacies. If we were to pick apart your claims regarding "females", how many logical fallacies would you say they are riddled with? https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-distortions/

At 29 years old, it seems to me that you lean into your intelligence because it is something you have consistently been given approval about. Unfortunately, this may have reinforced an unhealthy and irrational bias regarding the value inherent in simply having fun and doing stupid things for the sake of a laugh or to have a novel experience. You have devoted yourself to thinking about life while you criticize those who are actively LIVING aspects of life that you struggle to obtain - and that SUCKS.

That really sucks to feel incredibly isolated because of your intelligence.

But that's the fallacy - you are assuming that you feel isolated because your intelligence sets you apart - 5. Jumping to Conclusions – Mind Reading is your cognitive distortion.

Think about it. Your friends tell you that you make women feel uncomfortable. They in turn avoid you when they are spending time with women. This is a choice they are making which reinforces how isolated you FEEL - but this isn't women rejecting you. This is your friends rejecting you because of their past experiences regarding you and women.

And your expectations about why women should NOT feel creeped out by you are....?

You have listed your assumptions regarding what you seem to believe women should find interesting about you:

Academic achievement
Intelligence
Disinterest and disdain for drinking alcohol

However, you have also claimed that your expectation regarding these things being of interest to women has not been met.

Clearly it would be irrational to assume that these factors alone are a priority for women to care about.

But what about your friends? You know, the ones that will exclude you from social gatherings. Why do you CONTINUE to be friends with them?

Are they MORE intelligent than you?
Do they have MORE academic achievement than you?
Do they have LESS interest and MORE disdain for drinking alcohol than you?

If the above is not true, then you are friends with people for reasons OTHER than the reasons you feel women should find YOU interesting and worth spending time with.

So why do you like to spend time with your friends?

How do your friends behave with you that makes you feel welcomed, interested, and like its a good use of your time for you to spend time with them?

Once you understand why you spend time with your friends, the next question you should consider is why THEY spend time with you. Because dollars to doughnuts it isn't because of your academic excellence, your intelligence, or because you are a tea totaller. Its probably because you share interests, and those interests make up the bulk of the time you spend together. It's probably because instead of worrying about acting in a way that you THINK will be impressive to them, you are more focused on whatever shared interest you are all collectively sharing the fun in engaging with.

Women are just people. The same reasons why men will be friends with you will also be the same reasons why women will enjoy spending time with you. And once they enjoy spending time with you, they may decide you are attractive enough to sleep with. They may not. People are fickle.

But attraction is a lot like music - its subjective. Some people are attracted to intelligence. Some folks are attracted to muscles. And others are attracted to feeling safe or having fun. There are a million reasons to find someone attractive, and none of them are "wrong" anymore than you are wrong for preferring rap to classical or country music to freeform jazz.

You don't really get to choose what you enjoy - but you do get to choose who you spend time with. You don't get to choose how you prefer to be treated - but you do get to choose if you will continue spending time with someone based on how they treat you.

Tostitos153 · 2022-10-07T06:50:17+00:00

You call women “females” bro. Why do you think you make them uncomfortable? Why do you call them that while you call males men?

sextourist31 · 2022-10-05T08:03:44+00:00

You say absolutely nothing about what you look like. Looks are the primary factor in attraction. Once physically attraction is there, most women just need you to be educated. Being a PhD is not going to increase your value as a sexual or romantic partner. At the most, women interested in your field of study would want to socialize and talk to you just as men would

sextourist31 · 2022-10-05T08:28:50+00:00

OP seems to have been mislead by edgy girls on Twitter who mention 'Sapiosexual' in their bio's, but really just have a crush on a hot guy who wears glasses :)

WWhiMM · 2022-10-05T17:16:07+00:00

If someone has some psychological capacity that enables them to succeed, the term for that is "intelligence." There is some evidence for the existence of "general intelligence," but there is much more evidence (the kind you can see all around you every day) for a multiplicity of diverse kinds of intelligence; and each individual can have a different mix of these different intelligences. What's more, intelligence is not a fixed quantity, a person can develop and grow their various intellectual capacities.
Give up on this idea that you occupy a particular spot in a fixed hierarchy, it's both incorrect and unhealthy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superiority_complex

zapadz · 2022-10-06T00:38:49+00:00

Because intelligence doesn’t directly lead to attraction with women, attraction is emotional not logical.

I can send you resources and how to learn to attract women if you want.

TheChadofChad · 2022-10-07T18:25:47+00:00

You don't seem to have the capability of finding support based on your post history.

You seem to spend too much time comparing yourself to others. What is the use of comparing yourself to others if you are so confident in your ways of thinking?

Despite your claim to have abandoned the Red Pill philosophy, you still embody the superiority complex associated with it.

If you actually want to attract females, consider opening your mind a bit more. Your mind's inability to STFU has thwarted every opportunity you've had to learn something from someone else.

Speak as if you are right, listen as if you are wrong.

XxPupper · 2022-10-07T23:26:38+00:00

The worst people I've ever met were in the top 10% of IQ. It's not a good thing to measure people's worth by their academic achievements or naturally gifted intelligence quota. I can't expect everyone to pass calculus and neither should you.

I'm sorry the comment section decided to shit on your post, this isn't evidence of self-worth either.

Title	29 years old. Very Successful Academically yet Unable to Garner the Interest of Females
Author	thewinpilofdescrop
Upvotes	1
Comments	92
Date	October 5, 2022 5:02 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/xw183r/29_years_old_very_successful_academically_yet/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/29-years-old-very-successful-academically-yet.1135039 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135039