Do women really like asshole type guys?

Academic_Type624 · 2021-08-04T09:22:15+00:00

A lot of the Asshole guys didn't come across as Assholes to begin with though. At the start of the relationship they presented a front that was lovable and many women get trapped in an abusive cycle where they try to behave in a way that will get the guy they thought he was back.

There will always be a small percentage of women who are drawn to guys who are openly assholes but I genuinely believe it is a minority. There are parallels for men who are drawn to certain types of women.

Inareskai · 2021-08-04T07:53:07+00:00

It generally comes from people who view themselves as nicer than the man a woman chooses. Is he actually an asshole? Probably not. But the dude who didn't get the attention sure thinks he is.

There are also 'bad boys' in media that are appealing. They're usually attractive, enigmatic, moody/taciturn, a bit of a loner and (importantly) have a secret softer side that slowly opens up.

Do women like men who treat them badly? I'm sure some might, but in general the majority do not.

tomowudi · 2021-08-04T14:00:27+00:00

No, women, like men, prefer confident partners. Sometimes self-confidence comes off as assholish, and sometimes really insecure people are just easily bullied because of their own fear of rejection.

As a result, assholes will be able to attract partners. Also, assholes are more likely to APPROACH potential partners with little regard for the circumstances, which increases the number of potential "yesses" by virtue of the larger sample of approached people, on average.

So think about how the statistics of that sort of thing plays out.

You have a certain percentage of women insecure enough to be bullied out of a fear of rejection. Let's call it 20%.
You have another percentage of women who might reasonably confuse assholish behavior with self-confidence. Let's call this 20% as well.
And then you have all the rest of women who can't stand assholes and reject them quickly thanks to their finely tuned asshole radar. This is by and large the largest of the 3 groups, especially because group 2 will reject assholes once they recognize them, and group 1 could move into group 2 with some education on how to improve their self-esteem. So let's say this is 60%.

Now, let's say only 20% of men are assholes, and the average man will approach potential partners say once or twice a week on an average week. Which strikes me as pretty high - how many women do you ask out on dates in an average week? Is part of the reason you don't ask out more women because you are worried about how awkward it might be for them because of where you saw them (e.g. a cute waitress, a hottie at the gym, a girl in class that is always surrounded by her friends, etc.)?

Assholes will approach at least 3 or 4 times as many women each week as an average dude, because by definition they don't care how uncomfortable it may be for the woman given the circumstances. They don't give a shit she's at work and just being polite, they ask her out, or they ask to fuck.

Someone with a better head for the math can demonstrate the odds here, but essentially assholes will get rejected by at LEAST 60% of women, but they are asking out 8 women a week to your 2. Keep in mind getting a yes is even rarer because personal preference comes into play. Not "scores of hotness," but like, some women prefer tall dudes, some women prefer Southern accents, etc.

The bottom line is that approaching women more OFTEN leads to more perceived success among assholes. But this is a result of them nutting up and approaching someone, rather than not.

I was never an asshole, was always overweight, but I am also pretty self-confident. I am very comfortable letting women know I find them attractive, and I have been rejected plenty of times. I have also enjoyed the company of women who I might never have known had I not been confident enough to hit on them in front of their friends, or at clubs, or at parties. My self-confidence basically just helped me to be less concerned with my own embarrassment over rejection than my curiosity over if I might "get lucky". This, in large part, due to the fact that I don't take rejection personally.

Oh, it hurts my feelings, don't get me wrong. It's a real guy punch to get a no or a laughing rejection after getting over the fear of embarrassment in broaching the question at all, just to have those fears concerned. But my emotional reaction is balanced against my understanding that I am not being personally rejected so much as I am not their preference. This is not a failing on my part anymore than it's a failing of vanilla ice cream that I will consistently prefer chocolate ice cream instead.

the_pupilwx · 2021-08-04T12:23:40+00:00

Show me an asshole and I'll show you your insecurities...

absolut_retard · 2021-08-04T07:10:08+00:00

some do, some dont

_sorrowheart · 2021-08-04T18:04:32+00:00

I can’t speak for all women, but for women like me? My entire life I’ve avoided dating because I find the majority of men are assholes. I’ve only dated a couple men, ones that made me feel comfortable and safe.

Not trying to be dramatic, but I’d rather die alone with my cats than marry a man that’d tear me down. Why would I do that to myself?

EDIT: spelling

ladyredheart · 2021-08-04T15:46:39+00:00

No they don't but no one is an asshole right off the bat it happens gradually and it can be hard to leave someone you love even if they turn into assholes.

lilycamilly · 2021-08-04T18:31:10+00:00

No

Source: Am woman

SnooMachines7712 · 2021-08-04T13:49:01+00:00

No the asshole always outshines a pretty face nobody likes an asshole

atman714 · 2021-08-04T21:06:20+00:00

We seem to get this type of question alot. I feel as though this has been sufficiently addressed by our other mod @redpilldetox. If you'd like to see what he wrote, it is pinned to this subreddit

Amazing_Wolverine_37 · 2021-08-04T18:08:54+00:00

Not me. I like confident guys but that confidence should come from personal success in a relatively uplifting domain. Not tearing anyone down or being "bad".

Red_Trapezoid · 2021-08-04T20:18:39+00:00

Just about everything everyone else said in this thread is true but one thing thas hasn't been mentioned yet is that a few women will date abusive men because they were raised in abusive homes and that abuse feels "normal" or "honest" to them. People are complicated. Men do this too. It is not exclusive to women. Also redpillers get this idea that women will ONLY date a certain kind of man throughout their entire lives. It is not unusual at all for a person to get out of a bad relationship and then try and be more cautious in the future. It's also not unusual for a person to repeatedly make the same mistakes again and again. Also as others have said a lot of bad people are very good at fooling people early on. An abuser might love bomb their partner, then be abusive and leave that partner always coming back for that high they got before. It's sad and ugly.

What you can take away from this is by and large, most women do not like assholes at all. Why the hell would they? There are outliers but that's what they are. Outliers. Do not try to be an asshole in hopes of engaging with one of those women. You will have a much better chance by actively working towards being the best version of yourself. Head over to r/menslib and hang around a bit. We'll help you out.

AvalancheReturns · 2021-08-04T20:56:15+00:00

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2021-08-04T07:43:35+00:00

Nice guy as a term means a guy who thinks being nice is the bare minimum he needs to get laid they generally aren't nice. Do some women date asshole guys sure, do some men date asshole women of course. People date different types of people, someone you may think is an asshole could be someone else's dream partner. There's no blanket rule of all women date this type of guy

Gmed66 · 2021-08-05T18:56:02+00:00

Nah. total myth.

Mglawica · 2021-08-07T13:04:06+00:00

TL;DR - Don't put too much stock in or even try to become an 'asshole'. Whatever 'gain' comes from it (0 IMO) is not worth the negative of being ostracized for being antisocial.

IMO and through my experiences, the only women who like 'assholes' (genuine assholes: criminals, abusers, etc) are women with fucked up childhoods. Most people hate being around assholes and will actively cut them out of their lives.

I've seen a theory that women have a "love" response to stress used like how fight/flight is used, and that's supposedly why women stay in abusive relationships. Could be that, too, if true.

Most women like men who are dominant and don't take shit. Tons of guys can probably attest to their girlfriend getting mad for no real reason, and them having to tell her to fuck off. Lots of men will look at that as "asshole" behaviour, but it's just not being a doormat.

hopefulcynic- · 2021-08-06T00:42:57+00:00

a lot of evidence show that a lot of women find dark traid personality traits to be attractive. dating isn't about being moral or not and women aren't perfect. if all these prisoners and gangsters were incels then i'd believe you yet they tend to have a lot of women into them.

Title	Do women really like asshole type guys?
Author	spankyourkopita
Upvotes	13
Comments	41
Date	August 4, 2021 6:47 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/oxmw5m/do_women_really_like_asshole_type_guys/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/do-women-really-like-asshole-type-guys.796539 https://theredarchive.com/post/796539