How do I (24M) come in peace with the fact that I will most probably remain forever alone?

LadylikeElectricland · 2021-06-19T20:06:44+00:00

Well, the cliche advice is to look for fulfilment in other areas of your life: friends, hobbies, career, etc.

Having said that, you are only 24. I wouldn't lose my hope just yet. People are getting married and starting families much later than our parent's generation did. I would say you have a good 10 years, or even more, to have a good time and not worry about the 'forever.'

ontheavenue123 · 2021-06-19T20:20:53+00:00

Dude you are only 24. Your brain probably isn’t even fully developed yet. My best advice for dealing with this type of feeling is to continually tell yourself “I am 24. Life is long (hopefully) and I will morph and develop into multiple iterations of myself during my lifetime. The future is vast and limitless.”

Also I’m not sure what you’re talking about in terms of your personality. Are you saying you’re bland? I agree that most people aren’t into bland or boring people, but I also think most people aren’t bland or boring. I find that some men are super interesting but often come off in social situations as bland. I’m not sure why but I think it’s a social anxiety thing.

Natural-Bandicoot-64 · 2021-06-19T22:59:51+00:00

I'm 47, and this post reminds me of the 23 year olds who ask " Am I too old to learn programming / guitar?" Lol

spankyourkopita · 2021-06-19T20:51:14+00:00

Don't, your mind is fooling you. You keep telling yourself you'll be alone you probably will.

thetruthishere_ · 2021-06-19T20:57:00+00:00

As said you're only 24, your life is just even starting.

And there are ladies that Do like nice guys. It takes some time weeding people out.

atman714 · 2021-06-19T23:05:17+00:00

Hey OP, I'll tell you my story, and maybe it will give you a little bit of a white-pill, or, perhaps just some hope that we can find love. I've always struggled with dating. I had my first kiss a couple days after my 18th birthday, and my first real relationship at 18. All of my friends had theirs around 13-15, so I felt really behind and self-conscious. Like you said, I'm not "ugly." I have some of what society tends to consider attractive features for men such as being tall and in good shape. But, I've always had mental health problems and I've also always been a little bit off compared to my peers. I used to have extremely bad self-hatred and a low self esteem, thus, when any girl showed interest, I'd always tell myself "eh she's just being friendly, you're too weird for her." I think what helped me was realizing that we need to find partners that match us. I would be a bad fit for alot of girls, probably most girls. It took alot of dating, talking to different people, and putting myself out there to finally find a girl who matches alot of my energy. A girl who has alot of the same interests as me, is a little quirky too, and someone I can embrace all my qualities around.

However, most of the time I just feel like a 'nice guy' and it seems that ladies don't really like it (which is completelly fine, don't get me wrong).

I don't like how people use the term "nice guy" these days. I think that alot of women like nice men. What they don't like is a guy who just mirrors them and drops his own personality in an attempt to impress her. A guy that will never state his passions and opinions out of fear of her disliking them. That's, from my experience, what women (and men) don't like. Alot of guys will do this. If a girl says like "I enjoy these bands, these movies, and these hobbies, and here's my political/religious stances" and the guy just repeats back "wow those are all my favorite things too!" that's not being nice, that's just being fake.

So, is there is still any hope for me? Or should I just deal with the fact that I will remain single forever?

Of course there's hope! Like I said, you just need to do more searching and find someone who will embrace all of your qualities, good and bad, and work with you. It does exist.

DVM_DOW · 2021-06-20T02:17:18+00:00

Your 24, so you have plenty of time. Otherwise I can't really pinpoint what you mean by nice guy. As in the stereotype in movies and shows? From what I know the nice guy stereotype is when a man wants to sexually be with a woman makes this uncessary comparison to "bad guys"

If anything, be willing to say no of you don't like something or if you prefer something else. Respect is earned, not given. Its the same feeling that you get when solicitors are at your front door with too much manners. It makes you think "what is next? What do they want?"

xvszero · 2021-06-19T22:25:49+00:00

What do you actually get out of posting the same thing every day?

EUROBEAT12 · 2021-06-20T00:54:56+00:00

In the end it won't matter anyways. We and everyone here will be forgotten.

ciopink · 2021-06-20T02:54:49+00:00

Go out for a drink and talk to a girl.

MilkchocolateHero · 2021-06-20T06:04:06+00:00

It might just be the fact that there is so much choice out there. More and more people are staying single and playing the field. You can't force someone to be attracted to you, so it would be better to focus on what is more within your control. The way you dress, finances, mitigating debilitating psychological issues.

All I can offer is a reminder that economic and social factors have a heavy affect on what is considered desirable. This in turn affects what people are looking for in a partner. For example it has become more socially acceptable in North America for young adults to live at home because of the increasing prices in the housing market. It is still preferable to have your own space, even if it is small.

hotmama-45 · 2021-06-20T19:05:12+00:00

First of all, being alone and being lonely are 2 separate things. There are people that are "alone" who are completely fulfilled. Then, there are people in relationships/marriages who still feel lonely.

I know a few cool amazing guys that literally stayed virgins and didn't get married until their 30's. When I lived in Salt Lake City from 1999-2009, I knew a couple that owned multiple properties. I lived in 3 of their rentals while I lived there. The guy (in this relationship) didn't lose his virginity/get married 'til he was 39!! His wife? She was drop dead gorgeous with an amazing body. She literally had a genius IQ, could cook like Martha Stewart, and was an amazing mom. He hit the jackpot.

If you think you will be alone forever, that's a lie that you've told yourself. You don't have to go to a bar/club to meet a girl. Just be you...do your hobbies....travel...and she will be there right in front of you when the time comes.

Lance1up · 2021-06-19T22:46:53+00:00

Bruh, you're 24.. you can get a chick like this week if you wanted.

JoeDrinkingJoe · 2021-06-19T22:12:41+00:00

It is highly unlikely that you'll still be single in your 30s (if having relationships is your goal). Men reach their peak attractiveness to women when men are in their 30s. Be patient and work on yourself.

cunningcaring · 2021-06-20T00:29:00+00:00

One day the right women will come alone.

brokenB42morrow · 2021-06-20T00:35:23+00:00

Travel.

unshak3n · 2021-06-20T03:58:32+00:00

34M here, same thoughts and maybe same personality.

It's scary, but one thing that helps me is seeing my friends with broken families, divorces, etc., and realizing I'm kinda better (maybe).

OnionAffectionate641 · 2021-06-20T18:16:04+00:00

You are young. Work on yourself ASAP and forever.

That is, get therapy, heal mentally.

Get in shape, stay in shape.

Eat healthy, drink lots of water.

Groom yourself well.

Get your money up.

Do hobbies.

Ask advice from mentors, preferably straight married men, in healthy, loving marriages.

Stick with it.

Be there for yourself. I hope you find who you are looking for. I wish you well.

Prestigious_Jello_49 · 2021-06-24T00:03:47+00:00

Just be cautious and don't be used as a "sperm donor" and child-support payer... :)

Inevitable_Gain_7456 · 2021-06-19T23:13:29+00:00

Realize that women are increasingly becoming woke judgemental separatists and I think you'll be alright. Wash it down with some porn.

unlivedbread · 2021-06-19T23:30:53+00:00

Go to r/seduction and learn how to properly, respectfully and honestly cold approach women. Shit is magic when you get good

Title	How do I (24M) come in peace with the fact that I will most probably remain forever alone?
Author	chambaramba3
Upvotes	23
Comments	52
Date	June 19, 2021 6:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/o3m51w/how_do_i_24m_come_in_peace_with_the_fact_that_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-24m-come-in-peace-with-the-fact-that-i.785442 https://theredarchive.com/post/785442