I never believed I would end up like this, but I'm a 26 year old quasi-virgin (more on that later) and I absolutely hate women and don't know what to do anymore

I guess I already had a bad start made out for me. When I got into puberty, I got terrible acne, had to get braces, glasses and I just grew and grew without gaining any weight, which resulted in me being stick thin and no clothes fitting me. On top of that I just stopped caring, because it all seemed so useless anyway and got long greasy hair. Needless to say, I was ridiculed by pretty much everyone in school, including women. When I turned 19 I quickly changed. I got on good acne medication, got contact lenses instead of glasses, my braces were removed and I gained a decent amount of weight, finally got my hair cut. And guess what happened? Some of the very women who talked shit behind my back all of a sudden started giving me looks.

Now you might say this had to give me hope, but instead it just made me grew so bitter. This was the first time I realized how women only judge you by your looks. I got my first and until now only gf in university when I was 21 and all seemed fine at first. But when I dared to show the slightest weakness after 7 months, she left me for another guy. Oh, and also we never had sex which leads me to believe she was never even attracted to me in the first place. So after that I discovered the redpill and incel sites. After extensively reading their content, all of it just made so much sense. There’s a very strict idea of manliness and if you don’t abide by it to the greatest detail, women will treat you like subhuman gargabe. All the criteria you have to fulfill to even have the slightest chance as a man, it’s just absolut insanity, just thinking about it makes me want to break down and cry.

You’re introverted and don’t like to constantly show off? Death sentence. You’re thin and not insanely muscular? Death sentence. You’re well behaved and don’t act like an utter asshole? Death sentence. You don’t have extensive sexual experience (or God behold, be a virgin) by your early twenties? Death sentence. You’re not tall and don’t have a giant dick? Death sentence.

Observing my surroundings, everything was proven to be right. Women would overtly be attracted to stereotypcical alphas, while guys who don’t fit that small niche are completely left out. I know tons of women who cheat on their bfs with alpha men and don’t get called out, while I know exactly one dude who cheats on his girlfried and people hate him and are disgusted by him. Women just grew less and less human to me with every passing year and obviously I never had a chance having a girlfriend, because women are objectively unable to be attracted to a failed male like me. Eventually I went to prostitutes a few times to get rid of my virginity, even though that made me even more depressed.

So at this point, the only solution I have left would be to get my acne scars lasered (I still take medication, that’s how terrible my genes are, I guess when I’m off the medication I’ll get acne once again) and just roid it up like hell. Once I actually look like a true man I just have to learn how to be an arrogant asshole and possibly I’ll get lucky this way. However, I know exactly that getting success this way would make me even more depressed and also, being a virgin when it comes to sex with non-prostitutes at this age makes me 100% undesirable anyway.

So what the fuck am I supposed to do, I don’t want to end my life and I don’t feel suicidal, but it seems like the only dignified solution to this mess.