I used to date a Red pill guy - untill he dumped me for being "too serious" and "wanting a family" (Directly disproving everything they preach)

TullyPride · 2020-04-27T13:33:29+00:00

What red pillers and other misogynists say they want and what they actually go after are wildly different things. They seem to deliberately go after younger, naive women who are easy to push around. He didn't have to manipulate you into doing any of that so he was probably disappointed, and felt like he was doing TRP wrong.

_Crazy_Luck_ · 2020-04-27T00:40:47+00:00

Anyway, I apologise to everyone reading this. I know it was mostly a rant, but I thought it was ironic how he basically commited all the sins they blame women for..

_Crazy_Luck_ · 2020-04-27T01:23:57+00:00

It's tough at the end of almost any partnership, and becoming rapidly alone absolutely sucks, but this was a bullet dodged.

In your post, you convey that you did a lot of things for your partner's sake that you didn't enjoy, that you were brainwashed by his ideology, and that you isolated yourself from friends.

That translates to: You were willing to push aside your own boundaries and discomfort, put aside your ability to critically evaluate his ideology, and isolated yourself from other sources of stability and insight.

It might sound silly, but almost all of us at some point in our lives are willing to do just that when: 1) We're in situations where we don't have much experience, or 2) We have some things about ourselves which cause us to feel insecure and willing to not respect our own wants and needs.

The important part is to spend time learning more about yourself and figuring out if it was inexperience or insecurity. If it was mainly inexperience, you can chalk this relationship up to the 'lesson learned' side. You will know to avoid a man like him in the future when it comes to relationships.

If it was an insecurity, you'll continue to date the same kind of guy again and again until you strengthen, heal, and understand the things you feel insecure about.

Sometimes RedPill guys are right when they disparagingly say 'All Women Are Like That'... and sometimes women are right when they say disparagingly say 'All Men Are Like That'. Not because what they believe is true, but because they live their lives in such a way that they filter out all the healthy people who are *not* like that.

It's important to learn from this relationship so that you don't partner with another man like that and end up losing friends and disrespecting yourself.

Being alone for a while sucks. Ending a relationship sucks. Losing friends sucks.
But you really lucked out that this relationship ended.

You now have awesome downtime to reflect and reconnect with some of the friends you lost along the way.

quickbucket · 2020-04-27T04:47:47+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that, but so glad to hear you are free and see through it all now.

Enyaaaaaaa · 2020-04-27T06:33:16+00:00

PlatinumOfTheStars · 2020-04-27T18:39:41+00:00

OP, you sound amazing. Absolutely live for yourself, but please don't think of yourself as a lesser person because of him. You sound like someone who is committed to the relationship... and that gives me hope for the future.

You talk about doubting that men have feelings. I wouldn't even think of taking offense to that statement given what you've been through, but if you'd like to talk to a guy that's had similarly abusive experiences, my inbox is always open. (Or at least it should be. I'm not very good at Reddit.) Please take some time to heal and know that you aren't alone in this journey. :)

aanarchist · 2020-04-27T21:01:32+00:00

That's kinda fucked up how your example validates their behavior. You did everything and tried to be the perfect girlfriend for a literal red pill sociopath who was perfectly honest about it. Is it safe to assume you'll try to be the perfect girlfriend for a mentally and emotionally healthy man? Why were you attracted to him in the first place? Just curious. Not to be mean it's just that your story is more likely to push someone on the edge further towards red pill, not away from it. The only way for a movement like red pill to die off and for the ideology to be rejected by men rather than embraced, is for women to punish sociopathic and psychopathic behavior in men, specifically by not having sex with them and by not having relationships with them, regardless of their wealth or physical attractiveness. That's the sad thing to me about red pill is that it's fed by women who support the behavior. That's the only possible way for red pill behavior to exist and to grow is for women to feed it themselves.

MrDSL50 · 2020-04-27T20:22:23+00:00

Obviously you are in the process of realizing the wounds. Please consider: It's part of healing to feel the pain and it's not your fault at all (others pointed out why: you ran into a narc/abuser).

You did not loose anything, you gained experience and you can use it to get what you want in your future. I went to a psychologist after my break up and she talked like that: "Let me ask you one question you don't need to answer immediately: Why did you accept this behavior at all and why for so long (7 years in my case)?"

It hit me hard .. because it was meant to hit and set my focus to the point of evaluating my worth. I am still processing and I was asked in January..

So let me ask you the exact same question!

And while processing always remember: You will be fine, he probably won't.

raziphel · 2020-04-27T19:25:45+00:00

Better throwing out that self-centered abuser sooner than later.

I hope you've found someone more worthy of your energy, who actually respects you.

_Crazy_Luck_ · 2020-05-03T09:38:48+00:00

[deleted]

123heatherfeather · 2020-05-05T04:59:42+00:00

These guys don't realize that women talk about situations like this and going forward it will be harder to convince us that we will be better off by settling down with them and giving our best, most fertile years to them. In other words, there is no benefit to US in following their Red Pill principles, only to them. They make the argument that women were better off when we housewives but they also don't (or can't) want to be the sole provider. They want all of the benefits of the traditional society and none of the responsibilities.

MentleGentlemen098 · 2020-05-09T02:32:04+00:00

Op, you rant but you post on r/fds, which is basically just the same narcisstic bullshit but for women

RP_GatFirlzDrooL · 2020-05-10T06:03:31+00:00

To be honest, I'd really wanna hear his side and see what the two of you look like.

I don't know a single person in my life who'd let a woman pay for a damn thing if she did even half of that. Either you're lying or some details are missing here. I just don't buy into "I did everything and he left". That doesn't even really sound like TRP.

jhavis · 2020-04-27T01:50:48+00:00

Sorry to hear what you went through. But still, when you say " I'm starting to doubt men are even capable of having feelings... ", I think that is a very BOLD statement! because you are basically generalizing here, have you tried ALL MEN to know that they don't have feelings?! SOME DO HAVE FEELINGS (if that's good or bad I still don't know myself)...

I think this is a common cause of being "too nice" of a person and not getting the results you wanted/expected. Therefore comes the frustration.

I, as a young man of 23 years old, am in the same situation. I had a breakup because apparently I was "too nice" for her and wanted to commit into a marriage and have children. By showing that I had emotions and that I deeply cared about her, I think I scared her away??!! (things just started going sour after I opened up to her).

After this breakup, I got involved into TRP community and started buying into all their crap... Barely got to the point of hating all women because of their suppose "hypergamy" and all the mind games "they play" on us men... But after a while, I realized it's all BS.

It just depends on the people you meet in your life and the way they think/see things.

Let's break the cycle of generalization and hate towards the opposite gender. People are people, some click with you, others don't. Just appreciate the good moments and try to move on.

My best advice is: Love yourself and then you might find someone who loves you back the way you are and is on the same page with your goals in life.

MoroseAlsoLugubrious · 2020-04-27T11:34:32+00:00

You can’t expect giving a partner free reign is going to be to your benefit. Red-pillers are generally as amoral as the worst of the women they hate, and it sounds like he hung you with the rope you gave him. Sounds awful.

Men and women will make generalizations about how ruthless the others are when truth be told, everyone should have healthy boundaries and skepticism of their partners. There should be room for love and trust within those boundaries of course.

_Crazy_Luck_ · 2020-04-27T00:32:00+00:00

How long were you with him?

2020-04-27T15:12:12+00:00

I believe that, however 1 data point is not representative of an entire population.

beigesun · 2020-05-08T19:07:52+00:00

“Big boobs” lmao

IHaveABigDuvet · 2020-04-27T19:24:28+00:00

The thing that Im more concerned is why you were willing to let someone treat you this way? What lead you to accept that kind of behaviour?

Title	I used to date a Red pill guy - untill he dumped me for being "too serious" and "wanting a family" (Directly disproving everything they preach)
Author	_Crazy_Luck_
Upvotes	99
Comments	69
Date	April 27, 2020 12:21 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/g8px2x/i_used_to_date_a_red_pill_guy_untill_he_dumped_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-used-to-date-a-red-pill-guy-untill-he-dumped-me.657284 https://theredarchive.com/post/657284