Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone who commented, it means a lot to me! Thanks so much Shadows-of-Hiroshima, for showing me MensLib, which is slowly making itself one of my favorite subreddits along with the Thinkpad subreddit and the various other DIY/Computer subreddits, I can't wait to contribute to the subreddit. Just thanks for the kind words, advice, and comments, thanks for reading my venting. So, I'll let this post be...

I'm 26 years old at this point, and I've been involved in "red pilled" ideas since I was a teen as well as some harmful ideas from family. It started innocently enough, I was curious about certain double standards between men and women and I'd say I have a strong sense of justice so I read about various issues and then when I was sad over a break up I really sunk into it. And the close to cult like mentality made me unwilling to listen to other views but this year I started to listen to what other people were saying. I had fallen down the anti-Feminist rabbit hole full force but then I started to understand what Feminists were saying. I can see that Feminists and women in general don't hate me. All this trash about how I'm worthless because I was born a boy didn't come from regular everyday people, it came from red pillers, with their made up terms like "male disposablity" or whatever. I was stupid enough to fall for strawmen of Feminism, women, and really just people in general, I should have just listened and tried to understand people who actually do want to help me.

I've gained some more self respect, and I have a much better attitude towards people of all kinds, so that's good. Learning about Feminism helped a great deal with that, and has allowed me to reflect on myself. But holy fuck am I mad, like punch the wall mad. I was watching a Feminist youtube channel breaking down the Red Pill and midway through the series I had to check out since this woman was just grinding the home that I was completely duped. I appreciate her videos as well as a long list of other Youtubers for breaking me out, but I might have to finish her series later. And thank fuck this community exists, I just wanted to share a part of my experience and maybe calm down a little. Instant sub and thanks.