Hey guys, I'm frequently active here.
The main issues is disconnecting as there's no alternative.

I'm a comp-sci student, and never got along with any person in any social frame I was whether school, work, or social activities I was at. Most of the days I just play video games.

The worse part is that I have regular times where I dissociate from my social circle due to family emergency, dad start having panic attacks due to new psych meds, mom having chemo, or failing school and needing time to work the grade, and as recently having panic attacks where I socially withdraw. So maintaining a social circle is virtually impossible.

What ends up that the only way to make connection whether dating, or friends is by cold approaching. I.E talking to strangers. Most social guides are built on the idea that do it when it's appropriate. But not having a frame of reference of what is appropriate makes it impossible. If you have no friends, or close regular acquaintances. This puts a strain only my possibilities.

I'm 25, and there are less social centers I can go to except bars where I just end up weeping to the bartender due to visitors are closed to their own social circle. My family tells me to use social media, however from experience, people tend to ghost me due to being active on them. So it ends that I have less contact.

My days are now basically working with my docs. to see which psych meds work, video games, study, and eat. I hope soon to build a workout routine, and better diet just to not go mad from the isolation.

I'm told that the only way to build social circle is by joining hobby clubs, groups, however it ends up that those people are enclosed in their own. They don't invite me from the outside. And it's easy for me to fall to the social-gurus scams. I did buy a few books won't lie.

I used to have female friends, but none of them actually ever fulfilled the meetup plans, unlike guys that would just cancel, or say "I'll talk to ya", girls actually make a date and cancel last minute. My clinician when trying to get off the redpill, told me basically that most people don't experience this. The Incel, redpill, MGTOW, and all those communities are just those guys. The people that can't make friends, the isolated. All we do is live off stuff, watch movies, play games, workout, and drink beer. Knowing that most likely we won't get anyone. Those that say the RP helped them already moved on. If anything they're in the seduction community such as PUA.

Women aren't your therapists, guys don't owe you anything, no one is there to help you. Those are regular mottos on the daily. But when you have no one to be there. How can you take the motto "Just be confident.", "You'll get someone eventually.", "Not everyone is like that." seriously. And those are words uttered by therapists as well.

With all the self-improvement, it just ends up with the question, even with the one here. In the Detox post. Why are you doing this? Who am I self improving for? I don't enjoy it. I don't like it. I don't have friends. The only thing that stops me from killing myself is for societies convenience to deal with someone offing themselves.

Everyone I encounter, here on reddit, in real life, on discord, friends, at the bar. And the rare times I meet my old mates that finally get to meetup. They know of women mental health issues that result from r*** or abuse. But they can't recognize the anguish men face that results in their suicide. Fuck, the only thing that they give those guys is "Think of your family, dog, friends, girlfriend." As to say that their closed ones convenience is more important than ending their agony. If it was up to me. I'd sit listen, and let them know I'm here for them. The same we do in funerals.

No one cares for men mental health (unless they're public figures), they just care to shame them. I remember a time with the columbine shooting, where they blamed the shooting on video games, metal music. Among the targets of the controversy was Marylin Manson. Who spoke about the issue. We grew up to acknowledge women being harassed in the workplace, schools, and clubs thanks to #metoo (and that's a good thing). But we don't have it for abused, neglected men.

The people the redpill attracts are people with social doom on a scale most men / women thankfully never experience. It's a cult with no one to escape to.