It’s hard for me to believe that many women don’t use a baby to trap a man in a relationship

I_like_the_word_MUFF · 2020-06-22T11:27:36+00:00

My momma told me if you don't want a baby, don't have sex. If you can't manage your own life, your own protection, your own birth control... Then maybe you shouldn't have been fucking.

He played himself. No matter what. He had the option of using a condom or pulling out or not having sex. He choose not pulling out, not using a condom, and still having sex.

He didn't make one mistake. He made 3 big fucking mistakes.

But yeah... It's the girls fault.

Can I ask a question? Is it always everyone else's fault?

MisterLionheart · 2020-06-22T15:45:32+00:00

"women have been known to poke holes when you're not around".

Maybe in 0.01% of cases would someone be crazy enough to poke holes in a condom to get babies by a partner who doesn't want em.

Now, if this is a real concern, either you don't trust your partner (which is something you should go to therapy for) or you sleep with a truly astounding number of women.

Also, if you're seriously worries, get a vasectomy. Or only use your own condoms.

You're trapped in a paranoid delusion fed by TRP that women are all out to get you. The truth is we are all just trying to live our lives he best we can

Stargazer1919 · 2020-06-22T14:23:23+00:00

It's pretty simple. If most women were going to baby trap a man... then why aren't most women single moms? Because not every guy is going to stick around for the kid.

And don't confuse these kinds of women with couples who are simply unmarried with kids.

You're letting one bad experience ruin every single possible social connection you could make.

Suvieren · 2020-06-22T11:14:46+00:00

Why is it her duty to use birth control? Condoms and vasectomies are extremely safe and effective form of male birth control, far safer and more effective than the pill. Quite frankly, I don't believe the partner should have a say in whether or not someone chooses to keep or terminate the pregnancy, it's a violation of bodily autonomy and easily avoidable for men.

raziphel · 2020-06-22T17:41:40+00:00

Why do you assume she has bad intentions?

No, there aren't a lot of them out there. Do you have any idea what having a baby does to a person, and how many women are left to fend for themselves? That shit is expensive and dangerous.

I sincerely suggest you investigate your preconceived notions and where they come from.

Luvagoo · 2020-06-22T05:05:17+00:00

It sounds like she was desperate for a child to 'fit in' her social circle; anyone would do. Not that it's really any better but you're framing this about women and the relationship when it's only about her and having a kid.

I don't really know what to tell you. Yes some women are pieces of shit like this. Most aren't. Again, women are human beings who fuck up and are awesome at the same rates as men. Can we pin this to the top of this sub or something? It answers 99% of the questions posted here.

peachez200 · 2020-06-22T04:48:09+00:00

Wear condoms and pull out. Or don't have sex until you are married.

Inareskai · 2020-06-22T07:49:15+00:00

Wow. She sounds like a bit of a shitty person. Turns out women can be shitty people. No one should be shocked by this.

Some women being shitty doesn't mean all women are shitty. Some men being shitty doesn't mean all men are shitty.

As for feeling like many women do this: consider how many stories you've heard and how many people there are in the world who have kids. You hear those stories precisely because they are not the norm and should be called out, not because they are common. People are only vocal when something bad has happened - you hear just 'we're having a baby' not 'we're having a baby we both totally want and are happy about' because generally that is assumed unless there is a reason for the person to be vocal that it wasn't the case.

Basically you hear stories because they make better stories, but compared to the number of people who have babies that number is very low. Still reprehensible, don't get me wrong those women who do it are still shitty, but I think you're overestimating how many women are like that.

As for avoiding them? I mean, you can't really because unlike lots of other things it's hard to see the red flags until it happens. But in general work on being in a relationship where you have similar goals and open communication - a relationship where if she changed her mind she'd tell you and you could discuss it and make a decision together. Y'know like a healthy relationship. Will this stop the possibility that you will ever get duped? No, probably not. Will acknowleding that it's very few women and then making sure you have good communication with your partners help? Definitely.

Divine_revelations · 2020-06-22T12:08:41+00:00

“It’s hard for me to believe that MANY women don’t use a baby to trap a man in a relationship”—first of all that’s a generalization only SOME idiotic women purposefully trick a man for a baby because of their flawed mentality, where they think they can actually make the guy “stay” in the relationship by having a baby with him, when in reality having a baby doesn’t guarantee it.

Such women are not only selfish but also stupid because the baby won’t fix their relationship. No woman should lie about contraceptives or trick a guy into making a baby.

Lucky for you, you don’t have to worry about being “trapped” in a relationship with a such a woman because it’s impossible to really “trap” a man in a relationship unless you lock him in a room lol, if he doesn’t want to be with her there is nothing that can stop him, there are fathers that even abandon their kids like come on, instead of worrying about about how to not get trapped, always bring your own condom and always put it on yourself and communicate with her, if she does end up pregnant, you guys don’t have to force or commit to a relationship, you both can still co-parent separately.

partyorca · 2020-06-22T21:50:07+00:00

Women keep control of their drinks so they don’t get roofied, are you incapable of maintaining custody of a rubber?

YesTHATStheone · 2020-06-23T04:53:38+00:00

r/childfree

Though that doesn't work if you DO eventually want children... Hmm.

It's hard to believe she didn't know how to take birth control. Like she couldn't ask her doctor or the pharmacist? I mean it's one thing to be mistaken and use it incorrectly but to say "Oh I didn't know how"? If I don't know something I ask.

I think it's very important to have open discussions about this early on (maybe not like the first date but definitely if it's becoming sexual) and also throughout the relationship. Also don't ignore red flags. If you disagree on having kids, whether it's now, in the future, or ever, don't just expect the other person to change their mind. Pay attention to what they say. Don't dismiss them. And don't make excuses for staying if the relationship is wrong for you or toxic. Don't say "Well I care about them/love them/ won't be able to find someone else/they'll get over it" and so forth. Talk to your friends and family about the situation if you need guidance because often we get blinded when we're in the relationship. And please talk to people who actually know how to have healthy relationships. Not Bitter McBitterson. The signs were very likely there with your nephew and his gf. Not blaming him but like I said you shouldn't ignore red flags. Even manipulators show them. If they are skilled at manipulation red flags are harder to spot but not impossible. For instance you want to watch out for people who are too agreeable. They say men like agreeable women. Well those men are silly because no person will ever agree with everything you say. If they do they either have no real personality of their own or are trying to pull the wool over your eyes. They will reflect everything you say. When bringing up the topic don't just say "Yeah so I don't want kids/ I want to wait a while to have kids" because if she is an manipulator she may respond with "Oh yeah me neither!/ Me too!" While it is entirely possible she DOES feel the same, it is usually safer to ask open ended questions like "How do you feel about kids? Do you want any?" and if she is still playing a game it will eventually reveal itself.

And until you feel comfortable and safe with someone (which you should and I hope you get to that point) there is nothing wrong with protecting yourself. Even if you have to keep condoms locked away.

AUfan36 · 2020-06-22T04:47:58+00:00

Here are many ways to avoid this type of woman, but telling men never works. You could pick a childfree woman, or a deeply religious woman who won't have sex until marriage, or someone who has honesty engrained into her very soul. You could even NOT HAVE SEX without condoms. Many ways to avoid baby traps.

2020-06-22T06:35:06+00:00

[removed]

Title	It’s hard for me to believe that many women don’t use a baby to trap a man in a relationship
Author	AUfan36
Upvotes	0
Comments	43
Date	June 22, 2020 4:31 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/hdl9sh/its_hard_for_me_to_believe_that_many_women_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/its-hard-for-me-to-believe-that-many-women-dont.698475 https://theredarchive.com/post/698475