Leaving the red pill

ErrythingPhroze · 2021-02-27T19:16:35+00:00

What was the catalyst that led you to RP in the first place? For all of us; it seems like it was a woman more or less betraying our trust and hurting us. It was time and different interactions that taught me that that is a product of humans in general and not just women. Some people are just selfish and that's life. The key is to accept this and just be smart about it. I am 29 with a wife and Id say im pretty happy currently. I just had to realize RP wasn't really serving me anything positive; only constant hate.

Jamonde · 2021-02-27T20:39:54+00:00

If you are dealing with homelessness: first, do whatever is necessary to get your needs met in the short term. If possible, establish contact with family members and loved ones who may be able to help you in any way for a little while. Take a look at homeless shelters and other related services in the area you are, and remember there is no shame in whatever your current condition is. Life is complicated and difficult, and you are a person who deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

I think a lot of the other users hit it on the head pretty well in terms of how you can get out of the RP mindset. I might add, make it a point to conscientiously consume media, be it music or movies or games, that portray the complexity and depth of character you view yourself as having wrapped up in female protagonists. Whenever you find yourself falling on RP ways of thinking, try to interrogate and deconstruct them. For example, maybe you’re watching Moana or Superwoman or something and you see the main character do something that triggers a RP kind of thought such as ‘she’s just trying to see if that guy is an alpha’ or ‘she’s trying to see what she can get away with’ or whatever. If you can look at yourself and other male characters and not be cynical in that way, what’s stopping you from letting go of these notions when it comes to women?

Comfortable_Intern57 · 2021-02-27T19:51:55+00:00

That's really good to hear, and cult is a very good word for it. I think seeing a therapist to work out the issues you have with either opening up or showing love might be a good start and they can also help with your Depression. I know how it is, I'm on antidepressants myself.

cuicksilver · 2021-02-27T18:48:54+00:00

It sounds like you view women as unsafe. That your trust was violated overtly or covertly (i.e. neglect, abandonment, rejection) and TRP ripped that wound wider.

I’m a big proponent of talk therapy to explore and process where my pain shows up in my present and past, and then working to grieve the old pain to stop it from infecting the present.

There are also plenty of great books, audiobooks and even YT channels (from professionals not just anybody) that address a variety of the issues that impact trust, trauma, anxiety, boundaries, etc.

kickbackgang · 2021-02-27T20:27:17+00:00

Just avoid negative people. They think all women are evil, without even looking at themselves, and what they have done. It’s funny. They are all hurt inside and stuck in their heads. And they try to justify this by biology. IMO

Objective_Ad7771 · 2021-02-27T20:29:20+00:00

Try to focus on your self for a while. Set criteria you want to fit in: calm, kind or anything you find as positive aspects of a person. Imagine the person you want to be and make a plan how to accomplish that. Start small but think big you can do it. Find hobbies that will allow you to ignore genders in general let it be sport, art, science, books anything that will benefit your mental health. Try to focus on mastering or getting really good at that hobby. Possibly cut out social media or limit it (it can do wonders). Have a self care day once a week - pure chill do things that you enjoy no matter if they're productive or not, think about what good things that you've done during the week and be proud of yourself that you've done those things (that's more of a general mental health advice but give it a shot). Seek out professional help if you think that you can't handle it alone. Most importantly hang in there - you seem to really want to get better and just realizing it is the first step to getting there.

Radiant_Bliss · 2021-02-27T23:26:32+00:00

People don't need a "pill". Only confident risk-management skills regarding who they interweave their lives with.

Little-Hoe-Academia · 2021-02-28T03:28:01+00:00

This is amazing, and I’m really proud of you! I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be to leave something that had such a long impact on your life and your view of the world. I think it’s really admirable that you’re doing this, and I’m glad that your life has changed for the better.

You were really young when you got red pilled. 15 years old is an extremely vulnerable and difficult age to be at. I think addressing the feelings you felt then either on your own, with loved ones, or with a therapist can really help to get to the “core” of it all. There’s no shame in seeing a therapist- personally I think people should have “mental health checkups” the same way we do physical ones. Additionally, I think that doing some research on the BITE model and how the red pill fits into it can be helpful to understand the manipulation tactics that were used against you, and then learn how to combat that. You can also look into TedTalks or documentaries on cults and how they work too.

Ultimately, you realizing and admitting that you want help is the biggest step of all. It doesn’t mean everything else will be easy, but just with this post alone you took a really big step, and I hope you recognize that.

Additionally, you should be focusing on self care. Sometimes when we neglect or hate ourselves, we project that onto others. That isn’t fair to you or them. So take care of yourself and be patient. Do things that make you happy. Find a hobby that is good for calming your anxiety. And most importantly, as cheesy as it sounds, don’t give up. You got this!

PSSD_Kara · 2021-03-01T04:44:01+00:00

As a woman the biggest life skill that comes in handy is spotting the genuine monsters of any gender, and fast. There are numerous selfish and toxic individuals (female AND male) just running around the world with narcissistic or anti social personality disorders (sociopaths) and they are out for their own gain. This can be of great use in jobs, dating and friendships. Study emotional abuse and personality disorders. Avoid anyone showing the traits, period. Callousness, manipulation and lack of empathy are red flags.

RedPillDetox · 2021-02-28T17:56:49+00:00

You're not alone, my dude. Many of us are in the same position as you. Battling the exact same demons. This is the kind of shit red pill does to people.

hari_hbp · 2021-03-01T10:48:48+00:00

As a former incel myself, I ask you to find yourself a purpose for your life, a mission that you want to fulfill by the time you leave this world.

RandomUsernameSkrrrt · 2021-03-01T00:54:38+00:00

This is my take. Disclaimer: I am not an RP sympathizer.

Cynicism toward human nature is not unfounded. TRP is correct in its analysis that selfishness governs women's actions, their love is conditional ("she's not yours, it's just your turn"), and they manipulate everyone around them to get what they want. What it fails to acknowledge is this isn't a female trait; this is a human trait, and men, including you, possess all of them, too. You are selfish, your love is conditional, and you manipulate everyone around you to get what you want, often times without even knowing it. Animals qualify in a similar manner. It winds back to fundamental physics, that of conservation of energy. The state of life preserves itself at all costs without exception. Everyone is always out for themselves. The concept of 'love' is simply removed selfishness. We invest in family, friends, and spouses as a source of delayed gratification for ourselves.

This can be taken as cold, nihilistic, and uninspiring, or it can be internalized factually, as one does a boulder in their way, and used to your advantage (climbing the boulder for a better view). Life is not a fairy-tale full of unconditional promises. Life is very, very transactional, and millions of animals are dying this very second because of it. They pay for it with their lives, whereas humans often have the luxury of only emotional suffering. You will never receive something for nothing. It is this wishful idealism that creates crushing disappointment, so the sooner you come to terms with reality, the sooner you can move on. It doesn't need to be a sad truth, either; in fact, it can be a happy one, because although a transaction implies loss, it also implies gain.

The focus should not be on finding that nonexistent alien-Jesus-reincarnate person, male or female, who is going to show you unconditional love, be it in friendship or marriage. It should be on cultivating what you have to offer in a potential trade (because that is fundamentally what all relationships are, a transaction), and sustaining it such that someone promising of similar return will want to invest in you as much as you do them, for however long. Lovers in a relationship are like symbiotic parasites. I'm a woman myself, and I acknowledge that no man is going to agree to a partnership with me without receiving anything in return. I can moan and groan about this, about "male nature" and how evil men are for requiring me to be attractive, or intellectually stimulating, but it's not going to change anything. I have to bring something to the table, and if I want a great thing from someone else, that thing I'm bringing must be equally great.

You can still lead a fulfilling life full of love for family, friends, and spouses knowing this. It doesn't have to be a depressing, dystopian happiness-destroyer. It simply takes the power out of fate and magical soulmate-ry and puts it in your hands. Input = output. You get what you give. You decide your destiny.

Title	Leaving the red pill
Author	nomadic_pitmaster
Upvotes	57
Comments	23
Date	February 27, 2021 6:29 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ltu8ep/leaving_the_red_pill/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/leaving-the-red-pill.752651 https://theredarchive.com/post/752651