1: Empathy. Nothing builds an emotional bond quite like fully understanding where someone is coming from. When you are able to view people as blank canvases and allow them to paint their picture and relate that picture back to them In your own words it is truly something magical. Though the other positive giving traits should be mostly awarded despite having a general level of them, I’m currently in the camp that empathy should be given to everyone even those that treat you poorly, so you can understand why people do shitty things and fully heal from it. This will come in handy in trait 6.

2: Respect. Though most respect should be rewarded not given, it makes sense to have general level of respect in the form of interest and curiosity in someone no matter how different their views and opinions are, as long as they are showing those same things towards you. It is when others disrespect you or try to harm you after you have told them that you do not stand for behaviour that you perceive is harmful that you should start to remove yourself from that person unless they are willing to change. Then, when you are in a safer place use your empathy to properly heal from that potential traumatic moment in your life.

3: Caring and giving. Like respect a general level of care/giving and want to see others succeed as long as they reciprocate it back or add to it is great and in many cases forms strong relationships in all areas in life. After all people love to be rewarded for being decent human beings, even if it is to be expected. Yet It’s when people no longer care for you and you have checked to make sure this perception you have of them is true that you run into a potential abusive arrangement because when people tend to no longer care they also tend to begin to view you as an object of some kind and use you in that way. Thus when you feel someone is harming you do a perception check. Tell them how their behaviour makes you feel and what you’d like from the. To change. If they agree or you come to a compromise that’s great. If they don’t or make an excuse and continue to do something you don’t like they most likely don’t care. Thus remove yourself from them as you should never put up with what you perceive as bad behaviour even if the person means well. It is simply a huge conflict of interest and unless they find a way to meet you half way it will most likely ever work and lead to you needing a therapist in the future.

4: Having a purpose. You were put here to do something. If you don’t believe you were born with a mission you certainly develop one as you live and should pursue it at all costs even if people threaten to leave or give you ultimatums to change. If they do do this to you it means they have a different view and idea of who you are and are trying to mild you in that direction. Another huge conflict of interest because if you have a purpose and feel like you can’t pursue it you will become oppressed depressed and resentful. Keep in mind purposes also can change and develop over time but bottom line is those without purposes or a reason for wanting to wake up the next day tend to be the ones who scientifically and psychologically suffer the most.

5: Confidence or rather yet security and radical acceptance of who you are as a person, while passionately improving who you are and knowing what you want to become. When you have this strong an understanding of yourself nothing can break you and you’ll know very quickly what things are part of you and what others want you to have or what you think you need to have but doesn’t really feel right to you. Unless something you do believe etc serves you and makes you feel like it’s from the soul, chances are it’s something else that has been projected on you. Bottom line do and be what you deeply feel is you until you feel it needs to change because it no longer serves you or fits with who you are, as we are constantly evolving or devolving based on how we deal with life’s bullshit.

6: understanding it’s not what people say but rather how and why they are saying it by understanding human behaviour and the motivations behind it. When you understand the human condition you’ll suddenly feel like a mind reading super hero because you can with very fine precision see three steps ahead in any scenario with anyone. You also are able to quickly identify and point out toxic or not true to themselves people as you’ll be able to see through the various veils they present themselves as and why they do it. When you combine this trait with unbiased inversion empathy nothing and no one will harm you anymore because you will rarely take things personally and when you do you will know why and can heal yourself from it like you are your own therapist.