Why arent you red pilled?

CranialActivity · 2017-03-26T03:34:45+00:00

Good on you for coming by the sub.

I'm not RedPilled for two major reasons: I think enforcing a single archetype of relationship dynamic as the one true gospel of relating to a group of people is really silly, and I couldn't get emotionally aggressive enough to do the enforcing anyway.

I am a man with a girlfriend of 8 years, we met in college. I do consider myself the dominant decision-maker, but I am not the breadwinner, she is. We tried it with me working, it was horrible. She likes to work hard and make lots of money, but she hands me the checks and I pay the bills and do all the homemaking business. I do some dogsitting on the side for videogame/event ticket money. The sex is great, we talk all the time about everything. I am so goddamn happy with it I feel guilty when I wake up sometimes.

TRP wants to give you a formula for creating an ideal relationship. From my experience in a successful monogamous relationship, neither the idea of a formula or an ideal relationship makes any sense. A relationship constantly changes shape and depth. Making it follow a template is like trying to sculpt topiary while its growing inches every minute. The idea that women think this way and men should act that way as a consequence demeans both parties by rendering the near-infinite complexity of their interactions over time down into such simple terms.

Also, I just hate it when people mistreat their romantic partners, regardless of gender. It's one of the only things that will truly make me see red. The idea that you should be manipulative and callous in order to get yourself off sexually, using her like she's less than a person, like she's an object, is pretty damn low. As a man, I'd like to think that being a Man doesn't have to involve being a such an oozing, ulcerated dick to people.

If you actually read this far, you are good at taking criticism. Also, the one thing I think can be taken as a positive from being involved in TRP is confidence. Much of it speaks of an insecurity interacting with people you have the potential for sexual attraction to, and the fact that a lot of the real advice in the manosphere boils down to persistence, is indicative that it isn't completely without merit. Just everything they say to persist with is really horrible actions and viewpoints.

Thu Jan 1 0:00:00 1970 UTC

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bones_and_love · 2017-03-26T08:18:57+00:00

There's a bunch of tremendous issues with red pill, but the first and most important is that the literature isn't designed to be clear. It's designed to be interpreted. This casts the largest net and enables people with very different beliefs all to self-identify as TRP. So if you read about "all women are like that", you could have an extremist say "Hell yeah, all women are always like that" all the way to some very cautious thinker type who says "I'm interpreting this to mean that each and every person is capable of evil, no one is sacred". At the end of the day, you'd prefer the literature of a self-help movement to unambiguously and clearly just say what it means... this should be the final nail in the coffin right off the bat, because its purpose is to grow rather than actually help you. How can you trust a teacher who formulates ideas that need a tremendous amount of context to 'appreciate' with various 'interpreters' (as if we're reading an ancient religious text). Just write clear shit. Any highly rated self-help book by actually smart people will emphasize clear, concise communication in it rather than cute imagery.

But beyond that, there's a lot more:

They tend to dress up common ideas in an overly formal way to make them seem more important than they are. They can't just say "Women like physical hotness too, so exercise and be active!" Instead, they have to twist it together with a tirade that claims society has convinced a mass of men that being their fat self is A-ok (even though no actor getting the girl I've ever seen has been a fat slob). They just invent situation after situation to be offended and latch all these extra moving parts to complicate the message. Or take something like 'agree an amplify' to 'win the shit test'. Normal human beings call this regular fucking repartee. I'm sorry the people reading TRP are so deaf to human interaction that they don't know how attitudes and / or jokes play out or how to participate in a fun way using sarcasm, jokes, or whatever.
They emphasize extremely weird 'angles' in how they decide to do things. And those angles are written from the perspective of people with very very low self-esteem (and their shared experiences). So someone with low self-esteem, for example, probably gets casually made fun of or confronted by it all the time, so they develop this twisted theory about shit tests. People with self-esteem also tend to overly feel small criticisms, growing unnaturaly angry or annoyed by it. It's just you being a loser and people making fun of you. Or alternatively, it's just people making fun of you, because kicking the shit is something people do when hanging out. Stop being so serious (overreacting to criticism, another low self-esteem thing). Or take the angle that TRP uses with 'dread'. What the fuck? Why is the emphasis on causing fear and shit? The funny thing is that dread game happens to result in the same behavior as normal people using noncontroversial reasoning, but only by coincidence. Normal people when faced with a terrible relationship start drawing up boundaries, communicating, and ultimately get so fed up with it, they end the relationship. THAT is the normal 'angle' here. Have self-respect (emphasis on self and what you want). Not the indirect and unintended consequence that doing that very thing can cause uncertainty / fear in your future ex's life. Yes, we get that it's a necessary evil -- you can't break up with someone or start that conversation without it causing hurt and conflict, but it's has nothing to do with the point of that behavior in the first place. You're not teaching anyone a subconscious lesson or whatever. You're just finally having a fucking backbone and communicating.
It's repeatedly vocal about negative possibilities, overly so in fact. Normal people realize all the possible terrible stuff a person can put you through, and when that happens, it's no fun and you move forward with your life. But why surround yourself with a community whose common writings include nothing but incessant complaining and description of these possibilities? Again, take the common sense and normally phrased idea of people in your life earning your trust, relationships developing slowly and organically, loyalty being based on something (rather than nothing like a label 'gf' = must be super loyal now?). You might expect loyalty from someone you've spent 10 years with, that might be reasonable, but no label you gave a person in the last 2 weeks of knowing them will alter how they see you or how they treat new people welcomed into their lives. This isn't news to anyone... but it is to people in TRP. And they keep talking about it over and over and over again, dressing it up (again...) with weird lingo. AWALT, pussy on the pedestal, and a series of other weird formalisms all to describe something you can just write out very concisely and be done with it. The issue is that you'd then lack the controversy, you wouldn't grow as quickly, and you wouldn't have all the free marketing. You also wouldn't cast the largest net possible by confusing the most people into self-identifying with TRP.

raziphel · 2017-04-05T17:33:01+00:00

I respect myself (and women) too much to harbor that sort of attitude. It's abusive, manipulative, toxic, and sets a person up for inevitable failure and suffering.

Sure there may be some core truths hidden in there, but well... all good cults have those, as do all successful lies. That doesn't excuse the rest or the damage it does. You can believe in yourself without all the bullshit, and you'll likely be more successful and happier without it.

2017-04-12T19:32:14+00:00

To be honest every good thing TRP promises to guys can be achieved without the nasty, unfounded ideology. If you want to be the "best version of yourself", you can do that by being nice to people. No need to be a douche and no need to try to have alpha traits. That doesn't mean you should become this supplicating doormat. If you want to help women, go do it. If you don't want to, then say no to it. It's that simple. No one is forcing you to marry, or not go to the gym or get friendzoned by every chick or whatever. Go hit the gym, go sleep around, go talk to girls, do whatever. The biotruth of women being inferior or wanting to be lead is unfounded and not even needed in this equation. Really if you wanted to be better versions of yourself, you could just follow all the good shit. Generally, standing up for your own rights, working out and getting and looking healthy, and having a healthy sex life is a good thing. If people are telling you to get married or your guy friends/family w.e just tell them to buzz off. Its that easy. If you were really alpha you wouldn't need the constant theory-crafting, field reports, etc. all this shit. You would just be confident within yourself and your peers to do the right thing. And you would be confident enough to change your ways when proven wrong. You don't need validation from the rp guys

khazhak · 2017-04-16T07:41:31+00:00

the entire basis of the red pill is detaching yourself emotionally from your girl so she will lapse into hysterical bonding, where she flings herself at you as an emotional response to the revelation that you've fallen out of love with her. this is considered a successful, healthy relationship in TRP and used as proof that it does, in fact, work.

here's the kicker: hysterical bonding is just a phase. it ends. and when it ends, it takes your relationship with it.

don't do redpill. it will fuck you over.

[deleted] · 2017-04-26T06:19:59+00:00

I hate the redpill because it's basically like a Nazi concentration camp and women are the Jews.

I dated a Redpiller, he was my first boyfriend. He treated me like shit. He treats others like shit.

He emotionally destroyed me. This was nearly a year ago. It's stopped me from finding work or holding down a job. He stole personal information of mine to stop me getting a job.

Would I do that to others or a guy? No.

I had a rebound after this guy and then hung out with another guy. The other guy I made it clear from the start that we were only FwB and he agreed. Turns out he wanted more and when I said no, he treated me like shit and cut me off.

So, now I just don't date or have sex at all.

People are shit.

SmytheOrdo · 2017-04-23T20:19:03+00:00

because i blame nobody but myself for all my troubles with women minus the few bad dates ive had recently.

Thu Jan 1 0:00:00 1970 UTC

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Title	Why arent you red pilled?
Author	Primary__Account
Upvotes	3
Comments	23
Date	March 25, 2017 10:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/61i6on/why_arent_you_red_pilled/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/why-arent-you-red-pilled.300295 https://theredarchive.com/post/300295