The previous guys I was with were LVM even one might say negative value. They took advantage of me when I was vulnerable and were so mentally taxing and manipulative that I avoided talking to anybody for a year. It happened again this year where the guy I was talking to and hanging with was secretly fucking my best friend the whole time. And my best friend was encouraging me to date him the whole time. He would have sex with my friend and then say he actually had feelings for me to my friend while they were doing it. It stung so much because I was trying to be cautious and I didnt know about this subreddit. Now I know how to avoid LVM, NVM, and I will always look at the red flags and turn away. I am now aware of everything that I should and shouldnt do. And especially to always hold my standards. This subreddit has validated my experiences with men and has made me feel sane for once. The issue is, I'm scared of dating someone who is a HVM and then turns out to be a LVM and rapes me. I have to take sleeping medications because I cant sleep due to my health issues. I have been reading a lot of reddit horror stories where the woman is being raped in her sleep the whole time. The "reason why" the man rapes her is because her sleeping meds affect her libido so she doesn't want sex, but then her boyfriend rapes her in her sleep. With out any consent or her saying she wanted that. Some stories said there had been red flags but I'm terrified of being in any relationship like that. I'm terrified of it just happening to me one day.