Hello ladies!

I recently have been ruminating on balding and the impacts it has in the dating world, especially given our new comfort in saying we do or do not want to date a bald man. As a balding woman, I've noticed some substantial differences between those impacts and how women choose to deal with them versus men and feel like it adds up to everything we discuss here. This is long winded and Im yelling into the aether but it feels relevant. TLDR down below.

First and foremost, according to society, men are generally allowed to be bald with little to no impact to anything but maybe their romantic / sex life. They are unlikely to be turned down a job for being bald or even merit general disrespect for it by anyone who isn't an asshole. When I started balding, the idea of losing job opportunities immediately terrified me as a real possibility -even more than losing romantic prospects. People draw quick - often incorrect - assumptions about bald women like that they're sick, or "too outwardly progressive" or some shit. None of these things are actually bad obviously, but these groups face discrimination all the same based on the external factors alone in a way that bald men simply do not. There is implicit expectation that a woman who is bald beyond her control ought to be wearing a wig or something similar - she NEEDS to fix it.

In my experience, men are far less concerned with trying to find a treatment plan as a result. One of the first things I noticed on my journey was the startling difference of attitude between subreddits like Tressless versus FemaleHairLoss. Tressless was FULL of posts and comments disparaging each other with things like "hope you enjoyed being attractive" and "say goodbye to regular dates / sex". A couple of treatment related posts, but lots of negativity. You could find some suggestions for rogaine but rarely anything more specific than that. Most of the ladies on the otherhand use rogaine as one of MANY different oils, pills, brushes, shampoos, etc. to combat their problem.

If you visit the female counterpart, the sub is inundated with various treatment recommendations and progress photos. It also is an incredibly uplifting community, full of support and encouragent for ladies feeling lost. I dont think this is a coincidence. Almost all of the women in that sub end up paying good money for dermatologists to get answers and treatments, myself included. I had TWO scalp biopsies to confirm.

Did you guys know up to 1 in 4 women experience female pattern balding in their lives? I didnt either, because we certainly doesnt normalise it like they do for men and as a result, suffering women dont even disclose amongst themselves or even TO themselves. You remember that viral video that went around a while back of this guy being painted like a knight in shining armor becauze he told a girl she was beautiful after she revealed the was wearing a wig and had alopecia? I thought that was sweet too at the time! The bar doesnt exist.

TLDR -My main point here is how obvious it is that balding men would prefer to wallow in their pity and force the rest of us to drop our standards and just be cool with them in a way they 1000% do not expect or want for bald women. They are unwilling to put substantial effort forth to fix their balding because they realise they dont really have to and would rather society change for them than the other way around. They wouldnt survive as a balding woman for even one second and I LOVE that we are refusing to enforce that double standard.

** y'all remember that scene in the original hangover where that guys wife is portrayed as a bitch for reminding him to take his rogaine? Because he didnt wannnaaa? 🙄