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[–]whokilledhydraFDS Apprentice 1185 points1186 points1187 points 3 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
I always joke-seriously say this! If a man (catcaller, ex, fkboi) won't leave you alone, simply ask him for money. It's a man repeller.
[–][deleted] 898 points899 points900 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Omg yassss!! I told one guy who kept inviting me over "for some wine" if he could take me shopping first. He said: "Oh I didn't realize you are a material girl" and dropped of the face oh the earth 😂
[–]whokilledhydraFDS Apprentice 555 points556 points557 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
🤣 They got the audacity to disturb our peace, but feel appalled when we also act audacious?
🤔
[–]souredskittlesFDS STRATEGY COACH 247 points248 points249 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Omg I’ve done this and poof he’s gone. It works so well. Although they will come back an check to see if you lowered your standards 😂
In my experience telling them I have a bf makes things worse so I use this one instead to get rid of them
[–]whokilledhydraFDS Apprentice 212 points213 points214 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Exactly! They dgaf if you have a bf, husband, dead mom, ten kids, wtv.
Now I'm reminded of getting "asked out" at freaking starbucks by a scrote and I smiled sweetly and said yes and suggested a shopping mall, and asked him to bring his wallet. Weird, he wasn't into me after that.
[–]Party-Promise-8840FDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That’s awesome 👏👏🤣
[–][deleted] 178 points179 points180 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
But what if he thinks he'll get sex in exchange?
[–]whokilledhydraFDS Apprentice 145 points146 points147 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Rape is illegal?
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]whokilledhydraFDS Apprentice 90 points91 points92 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Hm okay, that's not my point. My point is the act ("what if the man wants sex?") is not my concern, and him insisting on it would be wrong.
Just in general, a man is responsible for his actions.
Asking for money from a man who is harassing you is not what causes a man to "want sex".
They want sex even if you ignore them, tell them no, dress like a nun, are sick, disabled, and the list of "strategies" goes on.
I am simply sharing that I have done that (ask them to pay my bills) to get them to leave me alone.
Another commenter that said saying this coldly will cause him to "be more aggressive" - that's a crappy victim blaming mindset.
How I say it depends on the situation. I always say "no" one time, clearly, if I am in polite company. For example a bar/club/restaurant situation. 99% of the time they don't accept it and escalate. Then I will talk about money and straight up ask them how much they make and state I expect to date someone who can afford to date me. It repels them.
If it is a street harassment situation, I also say no once. I get followed a lot in my big city. Scrotes will say "are you a model? I want to work with you!" And trail me for blocks. I am short and petite and most definitely not a model. So I will respond by saying an outrageously high "model" rate and they literally spin around and ignore me like I am the crazy one.
Old fuckbois? I will say "I am recently in some financial trouble, I need a loan of X thousand." They usually become speechless or make an excuse.
My original comment was a condensed, tongue in cheek point. Blocking and ignoring is the way to go, but sometimes IRL there is no block button.
I just refuse to carry the anger and shame these encounters cause anymore. I bat it back with creative money requests, and watch them act awkward, speechless, recoil. I shouldn't even have to deal with this to begin with, if men learn to let a woman exist in public freely without his solicitations.
Situational awareness obviously applies. These are mostly defensive strategies. No one is advising go up to a dangerous looking man and actively extort him.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]whokilledhydraFDS Apprentice 37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's in no way the woman's fault or responsibility, it's just another way they're predators.
Ok? So we are in agreement?
I laid all this out in my comment.
[–]LeavixFDS Newbie 574 points575 points576 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
This is so smart, why didn't I think of this before? Definitely will use this in the future. Can't wait to show this new move to my friends.
Unwanted attention?
"Hey by the way... What do you make? I'm looking for a guy to pay for all my bills and I have an expensive taste"
[–]-pop-fizz-clink 288 points289 points290 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
In all seriousness when I said "yeah I don't go to men's houses, I do dates." They're like "lol ur high maintenance" (except they usually spell maintenance incorrectly). I'm high maintenance because I don't want to go to your house and sit on the couch your parents gave you because they were probably redoing their basement and bring my own wine over? Nah, bro. 👋
[–]IAteTheDragonFDS Newbie 76 points77 points78 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My fav one is 'maitence'
[–]MgrofChaosFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🎶No - I don't want none of your tiiiiiiiimmme...🎶 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
[–]overthinker4444FDS Newbie 80 points81 points82 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Loooooool I would’ve burst into laughing but everybody is sleeping
[–][deleted] 32 points33 points34 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know!!!! Brilliant
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm using this one😂
[–][deleted] 507 points508 points509 points 3 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
It's acceptable on dating sites "want sex nsa" But I have never , ever, seen a woman's ad that says "pay my rent nsa". I guess it doesn't go both ways for us.
[–][deleted] 468 points469 points470 points 3 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Men are the real emotional, financial, physical, and mental gold diggers
[–]-pop-fizz-clink 101 points102 points103 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
THIS, sis, this.
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH 60 points61 points62 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I absolutely agree with this comment except the financial part because some actually do enjoy and feel good spending money on us. But the rest is very true. The avalanche of emotions some men have unleashed on me is insane. I didn’t mind until it became one sided and when I needed a shoulder to cry on they weren’t there for me. They have done all kinds of emotional mind games with me whenever I started backing away. They put me through some real hell. One threatened suicide so much that I had to finally stop all contact with him. I had to stop torturing myself thinking I was responsible to keep him alive, especially after all the really shitty things he did to me (including stranding me in the middle of nowhere because he threw a manfit). Try being in the middle of a remote desert trying to find a ride home and no he did not come back for me. I had to take a ride with a felon (didn’t know at the time). Yes not my smartest move but I had too much pride to ask someone I knew to drive 4 hours to pick me up. The nerve of this guy to then claim he loves me and should have done way better. Ya think?? Men act like the victim as often as they possibly can. Looking within for them to see their flaws is akin to death. They’d actually rather die. Go ahead. If any of these guys offs themselves I’m not going to cry. I cried a million tears over what they did to me and they didn’t give a shit.
[–]ColdxConfectionFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's true but even broke men will use your money to pretend they're splurging on you, "treat" you to taco bell, and get insecure when you make more money than them. Also beg to move in with you when they need a place to stay or a maid to pick up after them, etc. But i'm sorry you went through all that. *hugs* Now you have FDS to help you know better
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fr 💯
[–]SpicyScroteRoasteryFDS Newbie 82 points83 points84 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What does nsa mean?
[–]ulqui4nn4FDS Newbie 132 points133 points134 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
no strings attached
[–]SpicyScroteRoasteryFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks!
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly, the nerve of them with those double standards 🤢
[–]Famous-Ad6576 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But casual sex is leagues different from paying for someone’s rent? How is that a double standard?
Btw I’m not saying that people asking for sex no strings attached are upstanding members of society.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A woman’s number one need is a sense of security. A man’s is sex. Men want their needs without meeting ours. Imagine if we put ads saying pay by bills, nsa. Casual sex only benefits a man
[–]BungalowBootieBitchFDS Newbie 194 points195 points196 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well men are out here really talking about how it's "my job" to cook and clean. Aight then pay for my expensive lifestyle. As my mom once told her ex boyfriend, "I don't want an expensive engagement ring you need to buy me a house!" I thought she was crazy and shallow when I was in highschool. Now I understand lol.
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple 274 points275 points276 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The answer to any and all questions is your CashApp 😂.
[–]InayahDaneenFDS Newbie 85 points86 points87 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A married creep at work was being overly flirty towards me so I told him I loved rich men. He avoids me now 🤣 This works like a charm 💯💅🏻
[–]tallwomenneedlovetooFDS Disciple 311 points312 points313 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I tried this back in college and it worked a couple times. One guy was trying to holler at me after a night out with my girlies and I said “You can’t affooord me!” Would you believe this mf-er whipped out a pocketful of tens and twenties and fanned them out like that change was gonna do something for me. 💀
I didn’t even know what to say to that because I’d never expected a man to try 😂😂😂
[–]MissGalaxy1986FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow. The way he waved those bills around, they really do think we’re pets/subhuman.
[–][deleted] 249 points250 points251 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
hE dOeSnT hAvE tO kNoW 🤮🤮
[–]GemstoneLucia55 points 3 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
You can’t have friends?!
[–]balladwildsFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i told this guy i had a boyfriend and he asked me a picture of us too. the way i froze lmao i wasn't ready
[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple 204 points205 points206 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
literally what i do. you'll be surprised how much they actually start trying to say how much they make etc. and that's when i tell them i need tax returns lol
[–][deleted] 50 points51 points52 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Proof that this is effective man repellent. Woke up and had a nice giggle with my husband because of these
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All that time lurking and commenting where they aren't welcome and they still don't seem to get the point. Why am I not surprised. 🤷 And as shitty as they are still can't kick a proper insult. lol
[–]SayNadFDS STRATEGY COACH 46 points47 points48 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I am bad at asking for expensive stuff (never care for brands) or going shopping (grew up poor, it is just not something I am familiar with) - but I am familiar with debt, so maybe asking them to clear my debt works too? Like "Can you give me 10k? I got some debt to pay off".
[–]nnnsFDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Nah don’t let them think they’re giving you something you need, just something extra
[–]SayNadFDS STRATEGY COACH 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
So like just straight away ask for money?
[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
if you're seriously asking - create a problem only their money can solve and get used to being a damsel in distress. don't ask them to pay your debt it needs to be more urgent car breaking down etc. you don't actually ask them you just come to them with the problem and see if they offer if they don't move on.
[–]SayNadFDS STRATEGY COACH 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I mean in situations where you get harassed in public - creepy men out of nowhere just corner you asking for number and stuff. How do I make them go away as quickly as possible?
[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple 26 points27 points28 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
ah. the best way i've found is to be super serious, look them straight in the eye with no fear or hesitation and strong body language and simply say 'no, i am not interested' and carry on walking/doing whatever you're doing etc. no nervous laughs, no sorrys - check out assertive communication skills for more in depth explanations and ideas but that is what i do and it works but the key is you need to have no hesitation and show no fear that is what they count on you being scared/intimidated. easier said than done i know. do not do the money thing even tho i'm an advocate for that obviously lol but depends on the situation (i do that in bars etc not on the street with dudes who could be dangerous). if you give a dude a 'reason' they have something to argue against. that's the other thing once you say it don't say ANYTHING else they will use anything to try and keep talking to you so even if they keep talking just don't say anything back unless you repeat your 'no'. if they ask again i have literally said 'what you can't take no for an answer? you sound like a rapist' that usually scares the shit out of them. if they keep insisting you get MORE firm you don't back down.
edit: and the best thing is the eye contact. KEEP LOOKING DIRECTLY AND FIRMLY INTO THEIR EYES LIKE AN ANIMAL WOULD. do not look down/away that shows your fear. you are squaring off with them basically they need to know you can't be fucked with. and obviously get out of there asap and don't be afraid to make a scene i have literally screamed public humiliation is their greatest fear 'I SAID NO!'
[–]SayNadFDS STRATEGY COACH 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
'what you can't take no for an answer? you sound like a rapist' that usually scares the shit out of them.
Damn girl that's a really good one.
I am saving this comment to refer back to everytime I need it, thank you so much for taking the time writing this all down! Thank you!
[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you're welcome! <3
[–]nnnsFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tbh I have no idea how to comfortably ask for money, I just wouldn’t want them to think they’re giving me money I need
[–]SayNadFDS STRATEGY COACH 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah it is really hard when you aren't comfortable with asking for money and stuff or even help from anybody really. Sigh.
[–][deleted] 73 points74 points75 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Then they’ll act like they have money & hope some idiot is willing to buy talk without action.
[–]worshipkieraThrowaway Account 89 points90 points91 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I use this all the time - it works ladies!
[–]FabledAngryVillagerFDS Apprentice 60 points61 points62 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Brilliant 👏👏👏
[–][deleted] 3 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]CB4life72 points 3 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Too bad things like pepper spray aren’t legal to have everywhere. Also if you do have it be sure to practice so you are very comfortable aiming it in the correct direction when under pressure!
[–][deleted] 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]yfunk3FDS Newbie 41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yup. Illegal in my state. So are stun guns. 😑
[–][deleted] 27 points28 points29 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Saying “I don’t need a man” (and, especially, if it’s obvious to them that you do not) turns them off so quickly
[–]GlaeWitchFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
None of this works for me. I go for the jugular - "you're not my type" or "nope" or "no thanks" or just plain "NO get out of my face." Turn your back and walk away. I'm not into games. I can't be bought and I want to make that plain. Not even in a joking way. My son told me about a guy at work who just goes to bar after bar and asks every female he sees to have sex with him until he gets an "OK". According to this scumbag, it works and he gets sex every night that way. I doubt that, but maybe if you ask enough women you're going to get a "yes" if you're not too fussy about who you have sex with.
[–]quirkypinkllamaFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
so sad that a man can't take NO for an answer
[–]SumRandomGuyOnRedit 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link
if all you want from a man ins money then nobody wants you
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Thunderbird_Freya 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just say I’m looking for a sugar daddy.
[–]Mystro_22 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Shut up (im a guy)
[–]NickdelphoX 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m looking for a woman that doesn’t treat me like a workhorse 🙄
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