So lately a lot of people have been getting on my nerves.
- Losers I used to talk to romantically
- Loser male “friends” who are pushy and whiny and entitled
- Female “friends” who are passive aggressive and passing info about me to others/ looking to see me fail/ taking little negs at me everytime we talk
I’ve been blocking people left and right from all 3 categories.
I didn’t think they knew the difference especially since I only talk to any of them a few times a year but several of the men have slid into my IG dms to whine- yOu bLoCkEd mE. Apparently they can tell if you have an iphone and their texts suddenly turn from blue to green showing imessage is not engaged. All of them were able to discern it.
Further the women who think we’re friends and whom Ive had blocked on and off at intervals have when they could get through complained- Ive been trying to reach you and none of my calls texts have been getting through etc. 2 had distant family members die and apparently tried to inform me while I had them blocked. I told one I was sorry to hear but that I had not been accepting much in the way of calls and texts at that time.
She got a little salty and ghosted I guess realizing she had been blocked. Apparently to the female “friends” they assumed their texts were undeliverable or “not getting through”
Honestly, the peace has been unparalleled though because i was tired of their little snarky passive aggressions and agendas. Whether that was talking to me under the guise of concern and running off to another person who doesn’t really like me and snickering with them about me behind my back in a sorta ugly way, that laughs at me. Or just generally not wanting to see me go farther in life than them.
I guess my point would be: Be careful how you employ this with frenemies or distant “friends”. I didn’t think these people would be able to tell as we only speak 3 or so times a year anyway, but apparently there are some ways of telling
And as you know that can really complicate female friendships. I wish I could just cut them off clean as a man would without there being implicated theres something wrong with me or I’m acting crazy/ moody/ being a bitch. There’s plenty of rational reason behind it
I’ve often had advice from men of “well, if you don’t like that person just don’t talk to them”. But in female friendship circles that’s not always realistic or achievable without serious lashback or damage to your reputation.
It’s like you have to go the more vague route of “Im busying” them into the ground and elegantly start limiting them to falsely cheerful texts until you’re down to nothing at all, but that means keeping them unblocked and feeling pressured to answer when they call. I wish it were less complex
Just be aware. People can tell
The whiny lame male “friend” took to my dms to share a photo of me from 20 years ago which was bizarre as we haven’t seen each other in about 15 yrs and only met on trips as kids. He realizes i’m tossing him out and begins pleading his case on how long we’ve been “friends” and how much he enjoys our convos because we’re “on the same level”. I hate our convos, which i consider low vibrational whine fests that are keeping me from growing
I unblocked one of the female “friends” i’d prefer to get rid of for a short while before blocking her back again and in that time ended up taking a call from her because the phone rang and i find it very hard to watch and not pick up. Of course the convo involved some passive aggressive subtle negs suggesting I don’t know how to maintain relationships/ be popular/ have friends and sorta mocking me for not keeping up with as many people from our former job together as she does. Like what happenedddddd???? You don’t keep up with Dina or sarah or cindy???? Teeheehee. Noooo??? Why not???? Teeheehee. The implication being I was a bit of a loser or a bit socially maladjusted.
It’s really hard to call out or be upfront about. This kind of stuff is done but in a way so subtle it’s designed to be hard to call out or make you look like you’re overreacting if you point out how distasteful it is. And of course cutting a person off over it is always framed as major key bitchy or nazi uncalled for, almost psycho. behavior, which enables them to continue standing you up to take their sneaking abuses and negs. There’s almost a negative attitude there of you better take the call and stand there and take this/ whatever we abuse we give you. Good.
If you ghost that of course becomes another ground for social abuse Hands on hips. Ugly smile. You’re not taking my calls. Why?? Where it’s like the dynamic reverses and they feel entitled to hold you accountable and become the one aggressing, even though you have good reason for doing so
I’m just tired of it. All of them may never hear from me again although some of them are “friends” where we’ve supported each other through deaths at turns and gone places together, to each other’s events etc