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Comeback queen

January 20, 2021
8239 upvotes
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[–]justforfdsFDS Newbie1155 points1156 points  (46 children) | Copy Link

I can see some of these men losing all composure or coming out attacking you. The hypocrisy.

I'd respond with a laugh and "Lighten up, It's a joke"

[–][deleted] 887 points888 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

"Ugh I can't talk to you when you're this emotional"

Edit: Ya’ll this comment earned me my first male lurker hatemail!! I’m so proud 🥺😭

[–]Not_Main_AcctFDS Newbie258 points259 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I'd say "hysterical" instead of emotional 🤣

[–]midwesternwindsFDS Newbie262 points263 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Or "testerical"!

[–]barbedwiredaisycrownFDS Newbie50 points51 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this is my new favorite word 💖

[–]chokkolateFDS Newbie21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

HAHAHAHA you made me cackle in the middle of the night, 10/10

[–]IlivetoworkFDS Newbie76 points77 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I guess I can't joke with you 🙄

[–]Diane9779FDS Newbie104 points105 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

“Geez, smile more, kitten. No one wants to see a man frowning”

[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie135 points136 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is brilliant.

[–]throwaway111qqqFDS Newbie11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Share the mail. Its always fun to see.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cool-Fill9819FDS Newbie18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL that's a great one, that's why! I am dying, because honestly speaking males in my lifetime have been a hell-of-a lot more emotional.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

🤣🤣🤣

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice108 points109 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

exactly! look away in exasperation, roll your eyes and grumble: can't you take a chill pill?

[–]elementalviragoFDS Apprentice152 points153 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

“Ugh your sense of humor must be where the clit is, you can’t find either one.”

[–]KristeninmyskinFDS Apprentice11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha! This ones my favorite!

[–]subtle_mustache100 points101 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

“Calm down. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice54 points55 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

but really... "that time of the month?" tops everything.

[–]Cool-Fill9819FDS Newbie3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL

[–]InevitableUsual5839205 points206 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

“It’s a joke, not a dick. Don’t take it so hard” is my favorite follow up 😆

[–]justforfdsFDS Newbie37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are savage 🤣

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's my favorite too hahah because there's no comeback to it

[–]loleetahazeFDS Newbie66 points67 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

'Why are you getting mad? See, men just aren't funny.'

'You're being hormonal.'

'But other guys find it funny'

[–]overthinker4444FDS Newbie53 points54 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

🤣😂 Or why you so sensitive? Are you not a man?

[–]Cool-Fill9819FDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is my secret line ;). I mean aren't men suppose to be men to begin with...

[–]EffectiveHoneydew422FDS Newbie535 points536 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

omg imagine saying "Im really into small dicks" and seeing which mens faces light up

[–]StrainingMyNeuronsFDS Newbie376 points377 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

🤣🤣🤣 “I’m into small dicks and erectile dysfunction”.

[–]weekend111FDS Newbie125 points126 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then following up with a “hahahahah jk, imagine that!”

[–]WildUnitFDS Newbie84 points85 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s why I love the witty humour of Alaska Thunderfuck. Way to insult your ex without them having a reasonable comeback:

“He crossed me like the River Styx

But the sex was good 'cause I like small dicks”

[–]iamwildflowersFDS Newbie55 points56 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Omg dead 😂😅

[–]blerty567FDS Apprentice2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I prefer men who either finish in 10 seconds or get soft and cant finish. Being pornsick is hawt

[–]19Bubbles98FDS Newbie14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL

[–]SPdocFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😂😂😂

[–]WhimsicalVellichorFDS Newbie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ahh I've heard pick me girls say this!!

[–]_moonessFDS Newbie678 points679 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

I’m a length lady AND a girth girl. I’m also a bicep bitch, and a chiseled jawline chick....since it’s apparently ok to reduce people down to their body parts?

I swear, if men were objectified the way women are they’d wage war.

Scrutinizing our bodies, clothing, and life’s choices.

Imagine if we did that to them 🤔

Oh yeah, we do here at FDS

...and they hate it

[–][deleted] 81 points82 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm an ass woman. I LOVE a perky round ass on a man. Don't skip leg day boys! Otherwise you'll be unattractive and unwanted by us.

No one wants to see a male working out his upper body and skipping glutes. When they wear pants it looks like an empty sack of potatoes. YUCKKKKKK

If he gyms his ass better look like David Beckham in his prime, obviously not David Beckham now, he's an old scrote, but when he was YOUNG his ass was top tier quality.

[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hey isn’t it fun to be as shallow as they are? But on that note, my 42 yr old boyfriend has the nicest ass I’ve ever seen on a guy. He works for it too. I’ve overlooked weight and flab and ED and baldness and all kinds of stuff with men so now that I finally have a guy with a hot ass body I am enjoying every second of it. I actually wish I’d been more shallow like they are. I’m visual too, I just didn’t seek out hot guys, I was always the better looking one always. Just happened that way. It’s so nice to be with someone I actually truly lust after!

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes it really is fun! I’ve always been very visual as well, I think most women are. I’m happy for you girl! Enjoy that juicy booty 😂🍑

[–]GlamorKissFDS Newbie13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

WTF I just realised how weird this sounds when a woman says it and how we don’t dissect mens ageing looks like men do to us lmao

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice154 points155 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

B-but y-you're supposed to be all about personality and say looks d-don't m-matter to you.

(in my head: shuddup scrote!)

[–]chainsawbobcatFDS Newbie77 points78 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Have you seen men lately? Bc they feel attacked and I literally saw a man comment the other day that he thought men where held to high, IF NOT HIGHER, standard of beauty than women.

What's that phrase, equality feels like oppression when you're used to privilege? "Equality" doesn't even fit here, it's anything less than coddling.

[–]_moonessFDS Newbie49 points50 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah equality feels like oppression to the privileged.

Manipulators often use a tactic called victim playing, this is when the manipulator plays the part of the victim in order to make the true victim feel guilty and apologize. That’s all this is. Men are aware of how they objectify us, sexualize us, and reduce us to our mere body parts. Yet they believe themselves to be the true victims. Why do they do this? Because they want us to feel bad for having standards since our standards ultimately rules out sex with undesirable men. Short, fat, old, ugly men with tiny peepee’s feel there is a great injustice being committed against them because women don’t want sex with them, so they rage and demand our pity. Women, on the other hand, feel there is a great injustice being committed against us not because the objectification limits our access to sex, but because the objectification results in the commodification of our bodies.

So, what do I say to men who feel they’re being held to higher standards of beauty than women?

It’s mUh BiOLogY, scrote.

[–]CaktusJacklynnFDS Newbie16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

All of this.

They're the victims because I have the audacity to have standards despite the way I look?!

They can lick my boots at this point because I'm done.

[–]_moonessFDS Newbie5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

🥂

[–]azureangel35FDS Apprentice[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pfftt lol yes Kyle washing between your dirt caked ass cheeks is too high a standard! Burn those women at the stake for their audacity.

[–]redwineandsolitudeFDS Newbie168 points169 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Bicep bitch lmao

[–]missyou2017FDS Newbie73 points74 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

We don't, or at least not to an extent men do.

[–]_moonessFDS Newbie105 points106 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I would argue FDS ladies do scrutinize men, as they rightfully should. Men are risky.

[–]Lunarfalcon025FDS Newbie62 points63 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For different reasons though, it’s for our safety. It’s purely out of lust when they do it

[–]tonha_da_pamonhaFDS Apprentice14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Boom! Someone promote this queen right here.

[–]_moonessFDS Newbie9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ty! 🤍🤍

[–]Sensitive-Ad8553FDS Newbie432 points433 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

How has “boob and ass guy” become such normalized terms? It’s literally just dehumanizing a woman to the point where she is just a body part...

[–]HaveNoIdeaWhatToPickFDS Newbie133 points134 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The sad thing is that the majority of these guys see nothing wrong with it. They will deny that objectification of women is normalized while being a living proof of it themselves. Self-awarness is like farts, most of the time you don't feel yours until someone metions it lol But then some people out of shame get defensive and put a blame onto other people. It's the same with life mistakes.

[–]missyou2017FDS Newbie145 points146 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thats exactly why its normalized

[–]throhawey123FDS Newbie56 points57 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Not to be all my Nigel, but posts like this make me realise most guys in my life are at least half decent. If a dude had the audacity to tell me he's a "boob/ass" guy I'd probably say oh personally I can only with dudes 10 inches and up and who eats pussy for 2h minimum. I mean, what's even the point of telling a woman you're a "boob guy"? Is that a conversation starter, or...???

[–]Cool-Fill9819FDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same girl same.

[–]Cool-Fill9819FDS Newbie10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have never heard this from males that I have liked personally, but it's rampant online and my brother and his friends have said shit like this. Very unfortunate. Its normally classless guys that say crap like this...

[–]MerleErEnPerleFDS Newbie236 points237 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm an empathy girl

[–]Federal_Advantage440FDS Newbie47 points48 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I’m a mr darcy kinda girl

[–]MerleErEnPerleFDS Newbie58 points59 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm a "clean up after yourself, love me endlessly, respect me, add value to my life"-kinda girl

[–]CaktusJacklynnFDS Newbie16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm a "respect my fucking boundaries" type of girl.

[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist206 points207 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I can already hear the crying from the double standard creeps

[–]4E4MEFDS Apprentice91 points92 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Waiting for this post to be reported for "hate speech", lmfao!

[–]skyerippaFDS Newbie33 points34 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You can get boob implants and ass implants but you can't make your dick bigger!!!! Reeeee!!!!

[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol, yeah. Let me just pull those tens of thousands of dollars in disposable income out of my ass.

[–]ugly-princessFDS Newbie327 points328 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I asked that question to my boyfriend one time, he answered with "I'm more of a face guy, I don't like to think like that" and I almost cried 🥺

[–]RojavaLoverFDS Newbie48 points49 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mine too! He didn't say face but he said eyes <3

[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My boyfriend doesn’t talk like that either. He might say something like “my sexy angel” but never anything crude. My ex husband used to always talk dirty during sex and so it’s really nice to be with a guy that couldn’t even say anything nasty really. It just gets old. He’s more of a romantic type, which is what I always dreamed of. 😊

[–]JiltedGroupieFDS Newbie12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wholesome

[–]GlamorKissFDS Newbie10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Some guys genuinely are more sexually attracted to faces than body parts, I don’t understand how this is seen as sweet. Some guys care more about a “hot face” than a “hot body” but they still sexualise and rate women, just more on their face than body lol

Oh and most men “require both face and body to be hot” too 😒

[–]_RustInPiece_FDS Apprentice127 points128 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"Sorry, I'm sapiosexual"

When they start telling you about their kinks: "I have an intelligence fetish"

Watch their faces fall.

[–]XiekoFDS Newbie89 points90 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No, I think they'll just mansplain why their philosophy class in high school 15 years ago made him a deep thinker.

[–]_RustInPiece_FDS Apprentice35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then let's see if he can hear himself talking over my laughter 😂

[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice74 points75 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

LVM: "I'm a boob/ass man."

Comeback: "Do you keep your collectables in the freezer like Dahmer or do you have them taxidermied, Buffalo Bill-style?"

LVM: "Aren't you worried you're a bit old to be pregnant? There are risks."

CB: "If he's born with defects, I'll name him after you."

LVM: "How old are you?"

CB: "Are you phishing for my pin or just measuring me for a coffin?"

LVM: "You date yourself with your taste in music/films/whatever."

CB: "I don't have to date myself. I don't binge on webcam porn in mom's basement to the point I forget how to converse with real-life members of the opposite sex. It's nice up here in the light, lots of amazing people. You should try it."

LVM: "You must hate all men."

CB: "Wow, you must live in a realm where all men are abusers, harassers and rapists and worthy of hating if you think that. You should get better friends."

[–]pilotjonesingFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Clap back queen!!

[–]CucharamamaFDS Newbie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Somebody give her gold!

[–]misszazieFDS Newbie139 points140 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

No, I don't think we should respond at all to these kinds of people. Yes, turning the tables on them might seem good, but we're just encouraging their behavior actually.

Block and delete.

[–]bengthreadFDS Newbie95 points96 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel like if it's through messaging, block and delete is obv the choice. Turning the tables would be okay irl, but knly for the shock value and to emphasize how ridiculous they are.

[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie74 points75 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you feel that way then don’t go against your conviction. There’s a difference however of just going around acting like a scrote without being provoked. Guys probably approached the woman in the post and just objectified and disrespected women. You can’t go around starting shit and then be surprised when people toss it back in your face. When you give them the same energy it shows them that 1) the shit they do is hurtful and 2) their shit will not be tolerated

[–]yourscreennamesucksFDS Newbie15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah but when it happens at work you can't always block and delete.

[–]misszazieFDS Newbie19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh, please let this happen at work bc this would go straight to hr.

Unfortunately, I know not all companies protect their workers. And in that case I'd still make a face of disgust and walk off, rather than engage. I don't think the response given by OP is professional at all.

[–]ItsFreezenFDS Newbie36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Scrotes would get hysterical.

[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple47 points48 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

*testerical

[–]sweetestpineapple20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair game

[–]LeighHolloway44FDS Newbie19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Brilliant. 🖤

[–]pineycitrusforestFDS Apprentice16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is awesome.

[–]-sIm0n3FDS Newbie4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL, I love doing this. They can’t handle the heat when you flip it on them.

[–]ItsApeninFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Laughed out loud! Then shared it with my HVM. His response “Hahaha. That’s perfect. That should be the only reply.”

[–]CaktusJacklynnFDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hate dudes who say shit like that. I feel like a piece of chicken when they say that.

[–]kycakeFDS Newbie25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

girth is more important than length as long as he is over 5 and thick i can work with that. but an ass on a man is also very important. so i guess i’m a girth and an ass girl. any time i’ve said that to a man he’d complaining that i shouldn’t judge him based on things he can’t control. ha. first of all sir u could make your ass nicer by working out and second of all i only date men i find attractive and satisfying cry about it. and btw i have a few physical traits that are important to me where as every guy i know will openly talk about literally every part of the woman’s body and how he wants it to be, all while bitching about women having any preference for his appearance.

[–]SewudFDS Disciple10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I into guys who don't say that!

[–]Eldest_MuseFDS Newbie2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I only date doctors.

[–]myeggsarebigFDS Newbie24 points25 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

And I hate big penises too. They’re damn annoying!

[–]redwineandsolitudeFDS Newbie21 points22 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Uhh...

[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol 😂

[–]XxShykatxXFDS Newbie4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely brilliant!

[–]MonicaLSolisFDS Disciple1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is my favorite post on Reddit

[–]Interesting_Day1188FDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A girth girl... this is brilliant.

[–]horrorqueen797FDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used this in the wild.

Can confirm it seems to work very well 🤣🤪

And they're the 'logical' sex. Tell him his peepee isn't all that and he'll cry like a little girl.

Edited due to bad grammar.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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