Do you guys speak out openly about FDS principles and feminism?

Partypuppers · 2021-04-01T11:39:25+00:00

I only share my FDS viewpoints with select friends who I think need the help it would give them or would respond well to it. I'm someone who is quite private otherwise and I don't like taking a stance about most things on social media.

I'm also a bit Machiavellian in that I don't like sharing my standards because I'm constantly vetting people against them. I'm quite left leaning and work in a conservative environment (in the UK, not US). I know people from all over the political spectrum and don't like alienating people with my views. If they don't agree with me then we won't be close friends but they'll never know it's because of where I stand politically. To them I am still polite, friendly, funny and charming. I just don't engage or waste time with changing people's viewpoints. I used to really try but it became emotionally exhausting and made me very unpopular. I now keep my opinions to myself, use the money I earn from my conservative industry to donate to left wing charities and I block and delete LV people in my head. I've found that I get the most social gain and mental peace this way.

pickadaisy · 2021-04-01T12:47:29+00:00

[deleted]

VS377 · 2021-04-01T12:24:05+00:00

Nothing good comes from advertising your standards to the public.

Pickmes use it to troll you from their pickme stand point and scrotes use it to conform in a performative way until they get what they need from you, while shaming you for it.

Your public image must only reflect your happy-go-lucky persona or your responsible, classy, professional image. The results of your leveling up. Anything beyond that is none of anybody's business.

If you want to make a difference you can do charity work, donate your time and efforts to causes close to your heart. It's up to you how much of this you make available for the public.

Value your privacy, your mental health and your time above everything else.

Sitting quiet and observing is 98% of vetting. Keeping your eyes sharp and your mouth shut is an excellent strategy.

2021-04-01T13:05:06+00:00

[deleted]

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-04-01T12:32:50+00:00

Yes, I do. And I noticed that many women actually agree with things I say. Not everyone though, that's how I lost my best friend.

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-04-01T13:16:13+00:00

No... I have noticed people loooooooove drama. They can't live without it. They want a boy in their life who will give them something to gritch about.

I find that way of life and thinking undeniably STUPID. That makes me a snob, apparently.

ChocoBananza · 2021-04-01T10:23:42+00:00

Ah, you need to cOmMuNiCAte better! I’m 100% serious about this. I’m not sure what your goal is, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m on a rescue mission.

Most of my gfs are HV, but unfortunately they have some internalised misogyny and some pickme traits, which I want to remove from them. I’m making my attitudes known, clearly, but I’m aware that I won’t do anything by attacking them. What I do, is make them think about what they said/did, and leave the seed to grow on it’s own.

Dumb example: I had a conversation with a gf about, and I kid you not, ‘poor men are being accused constantly for rapes that they didn’t commit, and nowadays it’s so fkin easy for women to ruin an honest man’s life!’ After suppressing my urge to vomit, I gave her facts, statistics, end eloquent explanation (thanks to FDS sisters), and left her with ‘why are you fighting battles for those that won’t fight for you?’ and I swear I saw a lightbulb lighting in her eyes.

Disclaimer: this is only valid for HV people that need a little bit of steering to keep them on HV track. I’ve cut out plenty of lost causes from my life in the past year or so. Not worth my energy.

akashyaboa · 2021-04-01T14:47:53+00:00

I recommend FDS to all of my sisters, cousins and gf 😂 no stopping me. If I'm raising, I'm raising with all my sisters. We'll make a welfare wall of high standards so that there are no other LVM in our circles other than our dads and brothers

Simulated4You · 2021-04-01T09:18:36+00:00

[deleted]

IndividualRoutine661 · 2021-04-01T10:37:50+00:00

It’s not often I feel strong enough mentally to wade into a comments section, the hatred for women is too strong.

I rarely share anything beyond cat or dog videos on social media as I’ve come to the despairing realisation that no one cares about misogyny and racism.

I can save myself but saving other women idk, I’m still securing my own oxygen mask

MrsJohnMarston__ · 2021-04-01T12:33:58+00:00

I’ve always been of the left but very much danced to the beat of my own drum. I feel I’ve always been willing to interrogate my views on a number of issues. This was something I experienced particularly in 6th form before University.

I’ve learned how to steel myself through debate. The issue is always one of good faith. If someone wants to discuss critically then that’s fine. What I don’t deal in is people being disingenuous.

What I’m quite conscious about now as someone who is on the political left (here in the U.K.) is how misogynistic the hard/far left are and also how pervasive liberal feminism is amongst self-professed socialists are towards the sex-industry (basically middle class men thinking they know better than sex-workers). I’ve also seen some extremely disgusting comments directed towards the shadow minister for Safeguarding and Domestic Violence, Jess Phillips from men who considered themselves to be on the left.

I am willing to be a gobby inconvenience to some, but I set limits. I accept that I can’t comment on everything all the time — nobody has that energy. However, I also don’t get caught up in what randoms think about my views. If I’m challenging someone’s bad views then I don’t care what they think about my response. We’re too conditioned to be people pleasers.

pinkcityscape · 2021-04-01T10:37:50+00:00

I discuss it with my parents and it seems they agree with a lot of the principles including my dad but a lot my age peers don’t seem to get it. Heard my female cousin start spouting ‘not all men’ rhetoric and when I clearly explained why I disagree it seemed like she got what I was saying. A lot of FDS principles for dating aren’t that different from my culture but they start to zone out when it comes to radfem stuff

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-04-01T15:24:28+00:00

Yes, I do share a lot of my views on my social media. Once a guy replied to one of my stories that was related to women's issues and feminism, this was waayyyy before FDS.

This guy had been a friend of mine, now we lived in different cities so didn't talk much. He had the audacity to reply to my story, " you know you should really do something productive with your life instead of Sharing all this stuff on social media."

I obviously got angry because how dare he assume I haven't be doing anything productive with my life, but I was polite since he my friend. Soon it turned into full-fledged argument and he goes on to say that nothing is going to come out of my efforts, and I should jusr give up. I am just a frustrated girl who is venting on social media. Note that I had already told him I was also volunteering at an NGO that helps rape victims, but he was indifferent.

I later messaged my other guy friends, and asked if they have any problem with me spamming their feeds with feminist posts? They say no, Because we know we don't fall into that category 😂

That was the day I blocked and delete.

VS377 · 2021-04-01T13:53:13+00:00

I have a pretty small friend group, and it’s not uncommon that we discuss FDS-relevant (or just radfem) topics. I’ve never really interacted with someone who has disagreed with these views IRL, but I’m also not going out of my way to talk about it. Generally I feel it’s poor taste to bring up issues non-organically, if that makes sense. Like if it comes up I’ll certainly make my stance known but I’m not going to randomly bring up in conversation about how I’m anti-porn unless it’s with my small circle.

Somewhat relevant: my boyfriend went out with a group of people (a former classmate and that persons friends) and they (the friend group) were talking about strip clubs and porn. He told them about how he’s anti-porn and would never go to a strip club etc etc, because they asked. One of the girls were SHOCKED and asked him “doesn’t your girlfriend want you to watch porn?” and the rest of the group agreed and were obviously not comfortable with his viewpoint. He told me about this the night after and I said based on those reactions you probably won’t be invited out again, and surprise surprise, he hasn’t been invited out since by these people, after going out multiple times with them.

Just goes to show you that some people really aren’t willing to listen, even if they’re the ones bringing it up. I don’t really use social media, but I think if I did people I’m “friends” with or any followers would probably stop associating with me (which is fine, don’t need that nonsense in my life anyway).

eatnthrowtrashaway · 2021-04-01T15:11:29+00:00

I only share it when a woman in my life is being mistreated by a man...which is pretty common. When I was dating I never went out and stated my beliefs because I didn’t want someone attempting to trick me by acting like they agreed just to get closer to me.

My mother and sister are both in shitty relationships with a nvm and lvm respectively and they won’t talk to me about their relationship—it turns into them shouting at me defending their deadbeat men. Which is how I know somehow it’s working. They know their men suck and they’re embarrassed to tell me about them because they know it won’t meet my standards and I know they deserve better. I only hope they’ll develop the same standard I have but I doubt it: they deep down don’t think they can live without a man.

Downtown-Temporary52 · 2021-04-01T09:00:30+00:00

I can totally relate. When I voiced out my opinion that men should be paying women for dates and in marriage, libfem's pov is that we are indebted to men.

It's hard for me to explain where I was coming from but I do openly talk about it nonetheless, bearing in mind I don't need to overexplain and I am entitled to my opinion. I just have to be ready to being misunderstood.

Dexaroo5716 · 2021-04-01T16:01:58+00:00

It’s like fight club. Unless you’re in the club I don’t talk about it with you. I apply it, but I don’t explain my strategies except to other HVW. Maybe direct a pick me to the page if she is open minded and suffering and needs the help.

GlamorKiss · 2021-04-01T10:16:04+00:00

i do discuss it with friends. we might have different opinions on "lighter", strategy stuff, but that's okay. for example, if a friend does 50:50 with her spouse that's her thing - i just wouldn't do that. i like to hear about their views; especially from queer friends as that's super interesting and often different than fds due to different, more equal dynamics.

on more serious things like rape culture, i'm very outspoken. used to go to protest before covid, share it on social media etc. these things have never been something i was able to shut up about.

however, i don't think i've ever mentioned being part of fds. even with friends who share our way of thinking. i have to admit i'm a bit scared of the stigma surrounding us, the "female incel" bullcrap, you know? i hate it, but that's unfortunately way too widespread.

logickilledthecat · 2021-04-01T10:44:05+00:00

Yes.

"How do you manage conflict in your relationships which arise from your views?"

Know your conflicts:

Conflict1 is by simply disagreeing with the points I make ("This is problematic/difficult/wrong, because ..."). I have no problem with that. "Agreeing to disagree" has happened, and having factual, rational debates that challenge the points I make. They can be heated, I tolerate even that. All healthy and productive.

Conflict2, meanwhile, is the inner conflict of the person with the fact that I make those points. They are offended and angry. That is on them to manage themselves and their emotions. If that leads them to ad-hominem, 2x4 swinging at my character or person of any form ("You are insecure/crazy/paranoid/a liar/snowflake/pathetic"), especially gaslighting, I end the discussion right then and there.

"You do not talk to me like this. We are done here until you change your tone to "respectful" again."

_____________

OP, maybe you could try to challenge the libfems around you by simply asking things like:

"Oh, you think?"

"What do you mean by... ?"

"So if I understand you right, you are trying to say ... ?"

"By that same logic, ....?"

Just point out the rational/logical flaws in their arguing, then leave it at that. Let it echo around, silence is gold. (Hi male lurkers, I know you're reading and trying to copy this against us mAn hAt0rS. You're welcome).

WittyImprovement · 2021-04-01T15:02:05+00:00

I've sent some of the stuff from this sub to one of my close friends and she agrees with those things. But for the most part I don't go out of my way to educate everyone. I don't have the energy to try to change other peoples opinions about feminism. It's simply not my priority. I'll approach dating my way, they'll approach it their way.

More_Pothos · 2021-04-01T14:57:29+00:00

I don’t actively post on social media, but I share my viewpoints with my girlfriends whenever I think it would help....which is fairly often. I have two small women-only friend groups that I zoom with each week. It feels a little like group therapy talking about our careers, love-lives, families, etc. together.

her-vagesty · 2021-04-01T17:17:05+00:00

No, because I've been told "it sounds like your standards were a bit too high" from my best friend, after I explained that there wouldn't be a second date with a date who split the £50 dinner bill with me, then walked me to the bus. Imagine your best friend thinking you deserve to have a date where you pay half and are then put on a bus home. This is after a few dates with a different guy who paid for my Ubers home and covered dinner bills. I would never ever have told her that her standards were too high, but she's happy with walking or driving dates so it's whatever. No teaching some people.

wordy_fries · 2021-04-01T19:11:24+00:00

I tried doing it once and got dragged by porn sick limp dicks. Nope, now I just keep it to myself and only share to women that are close to me and away from pickmeishas. 👋👋👋

And honestly, a lot of people started viewing me with more respect. In FDS we trust 😂

tellmesomething11 · 2021-04-01T14:35:15+00:00

I do speak openly about it, but only to other women. Never to men. I don’t argue w men about this stuff. A lot of women have been brainwashed into “independence” or just are so hard up, 50/50 eases their wallets bc they can’t afford rent.

some women are so stuck on the narrative bc they see their friends doing it. Why do a walk date? Why live with someone before marriage? Honestly my parents were super distracted so I had to learn the hard way. But now I’m 40, it purely falls on me now.
these women really say “ if he pays for dinner, he’s going to expect sex” Y’all don’t know how to say no?!? Lmao just say no ladies. Men don’t care if you can afford to pay, they’ll take your money and just pay for the next woman’s meal w a smile
I’ve had people tell me “they have brothers” and don’t want them to be scammed🙄 How is it a scam to want a man to provide? He’s gonna want you to cook clean and take care of the children? Ok. Personally my brother pays for everything re: his girlfriend and they seem happy. They aren’t married but he has always provided for her, her child and their child. I don’t feel like he’s being scammed at all.
at the end of the day, these views are what I live by. If people can’t relate, it’s not my problem. It’s also not my problem to listen to their problems that are caused as a result of not listening or learning how to be a woman in these times.

immortallogic · 2021-04-01T16:35:04+00:00

I don't always frame it as FDS but I def am loud about being anti-porn and strong feminist views, being weary of men, sisterhood, being independent etc.

thenyashoulda · 2021-04-01T18:49:52+00:00

Fds, no

I am training my teen and her friends what to listen for, what to say, how to act and where I am (I work from home lots)

I tell them how boys have been being pulled aside and trained in this shit since the dawn of time.

entpgirl415 · 2021-04-01T20:03:05+00:00

I kinda keep it to myself, but also kinda don’t. Thankfully I work remotely so I don’t have anything to worry about from home, however on social media I really enjoy posting the memes FDS has. I only do that in a “tit for tat” kind of way because I see wayyyyy to many misogynist memes everywhere and people always hating on women. I post them just for people to even SEE something out there questioning men or the way things are. Surprisingly i haven’t received any backlash from that on social media. I’ve actually been kinda waiting for someone to give me shit so I can use LVM’s favorite line “it’s a joke not a dick...don’t take it so hard honey”

waddamelone · 2021-04-01T20:10:47+00:00

I’ve started to discuss it more extensively with one friend who I always share my dating stories/REGRETS with (and vice versa). She get’s what I say and somewhat agrees eventhough she doesn’t really put it into practise. She has had sex on first dates and has a fuckbuddy that she met during the pandemic. But she always tells me to not do those things because she knows I’m better than that.

There’s another acquitance who I tried to sprinkle some fds on but she doesn’t really get it. She’s into bums and guys who only want to come over so they can “relax” and dissapear for months at a time. So I haven’t really tried to really talk about fds with her.

The rest of my friends issa no because of the way they are. But I don’t want to come off as a know it all so I just let everyone be. I don’t feed into the pickme things they talk about because I don’t care and it doesn’t do anything for me.

woodbine1031 · 2021-04-01T20:27:32+00:00

I find a lot of the morals of FDS are just straightforward combatants of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which I also try to help women get through.

StalkerPoetess · 2021-04-01T20:36:53+00:00

I only my close female friends and family. And I'm already seeing results. My friend who was a huge pickmesha talking about how she's into BDSM and getting used every time, is now starting to put more effort to level herself up and stopped sleeping with guys (and girls) all together. She only goes out on real dates, never goes out to someone's house and makes me hold her accountable. It's still not the best and she needs to get better (trying to get her to see FDS as a good thing but she still says it's too radical despite her actually liking what I tell her and following it lol) but if just her listens to me, I'm good enough.

mackenzie013 · 2021-04-01T21:09:46+00:00

I think this will be a bit different for everyone and none is necessarily wrong/right.

In general, I don’t mind telling people my opinion. In fact, I’m quite outspoken with anyone I come across. At the same time I also realize that my opinion is just that - my opinion. I don’t shy away from conflict, but I refuse to get into pointless arguments (I.e. where you argue just for the sake of arguing). I quite enjoy healthy debates and opinions being questioned; it’s the best way to grow and shift perspectives.

However, my core values and beliefs aren’t up for a discussion; it’s who I am and I’m also very open about that. While I can be friends with people of different opinions (most of my circle form a fairly wide circle); how far apart are we on my core values spectrum will determine whether someone will turn into a permanent member of my social sphere.

Edit: I don’t usually post much on social media. Reddit is probably one of the few places I run to lately (mostly out of covid fatigue) and I quite like the debates so far. But I don’t really comment or share on any other social media. Most of my interactions are IRL.

PinkBlair99 · 2021-04-02T02:09:13+00:00

Small core of friends, 100% honest.

Everyone else, very private and shtum.

ShegoGreen · 2021-04-03T07:33:58+00:00

No, I keep FDS a secret. It has only ever worked in my favor not to shout it from the rooftops. It protects me from pick-mes and LV men from attacking me. To be completely honest, not having it at the forefront of my mind and talking about it all the time keeps me from becoming bitter in a way.

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HlGHFIVE · 2021-04-01T20:32:37+00:00

Say one thing about how women deserve more or deserve respect and people begin to clutch their pearls and cover their mouths.

Woman have been shamed for not being doormats for men.

And of course, Men want our role. They want to be the nurtured, delicate flowers who's needs must be attended to at all times. So of course they're going to try and repress our feelings of empowerment and self-love. Do not let them.

nyclaurco · 2021-04-03T01:22:29+00:00

i do when it’s relevant to the conversation. nobody looks at me crazy, including men, because this is just the very normal life and dating advice that our grandmas and aunties have been trying to tell us for years.

GretaTheBeeotch · 2021-04-03T14:21:09+00:00

OH YES

Yes I do

Usually blows most women’s minds initially, I follow it up with supportive memes

They start to get it ; )

Title	Do you guys speak out openly about FDS principles and feminism?
Author	luceario
Upvotes	293
Comments	72
Date	April 1, 2021 8:57 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-you-guys-speak-out-openly-about-fds-principles.765909 https://theredarchive.com/post/765909
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mhr7dp/do_you_guys_speak_out_openly_about_fds_principles/