I (24F, sterilized, CF) haven’t happened to have dated any CF men so I don’t have any experience.

Within the CF community there’s a term called DINK: dual income no kids. I perceive that within the community men place a higher priority on a woman having a good income than non-CF men do.

My concern is that, as a CF woman, I’d end up in a relationship where I was treated like another man, so to speak. I encounter this a lot at work: I work with many male coworkers but I find myself trying to do all the things they do - and I fail. I try to reach things on high shelves and end up accidentally knocking something down on my head. I try to pour from a large and very heavy container of liquid and end up spilling it everywhere. I try to lift very heavy objects and end up with a sore back for weeks because my muscles weren’t strong enough to protect my spine from being over-stressed. Yeah, I can hold a job and make money as a woman, but I don’t like expecting myself to be a man and I don’t want others to either. I’ve hurt myself and made messes many times at work because I’ve been ashamed to ask for help and worried coworkers would resent me for having to help.

Many men I’ve gotten into debates with on PPD have told me since I’m CF that men will be inclined to treat me like another man, basically. That their provider switch will just be automatically turned off, and that it's not something that can be helped. Idk if this mentality persists outside of PPD, but I don't want to basically be in a same-sex relationship except that I have a vagina... and I'm short, and I'm less muscular, and I menstruate, etc.

I’m honestly wary that a man who is CF like I am will view me as a man like himself, for all intents and purposes. I don’t want that. Personally, it’s not very romantic to me. It would be like having a platonic friend. I’d resent it. I can’t fully explain why it would be so lackluster for me, but it would - even though I’m CF. It would be ok for a platonic friendship, but I would just feel dead inside if my partner regarded me this way.

I feel especially ashamed of not going 50/50 if I'm with a CF man. Nevertheless, tbh I don't want a "team mate" per se. I don't want to feel like we're coworkers who have sex. I don't want to feel like a live-in FWB.