I (24F, sterilized, CF) haven’t happened to have dated any CF men so I don’t have any experience.
Within the CF community there’s a term called DINK: dual income no kids. I perceive that within the community men place a higher priority on a woman having a good income than non-CF men do.
My concern is that, as a CF woman, I’d end up in a relationship where I was treated like another man, so to speak. I encounter this a lot at work: I work with many male coworkers but I find myself trying to do all the things they do - and I fail. I try to reach things on high shelves and end up accidentally knocking something down on my head. I try to pour from a large and very heavy container of liquid and end up spilling it everywhere. I try to lift very heavy objects and end up with a sore back for weeks because my muscles weren’t strong enough to protect my spine from being over-stressed. Yeah, I can hold a job and make money as a woman, but I don’t like expecting myself to be a man and I don’t want others to either. I’ve hurt myself and made messes many times at work because I’ve been ashamed to ask for help and worried coworkers would resent me for having to help.
Many men I’ve gotten into debates with on PPD have told me since I’m CF that men will be inclined to treat me like another man, basically. That their provider switch will just be automatically turned off, and that it's not something that can be helped. Idk if this mentality persists outside of PPD, but I don't want to basically be in a same-sex relationship except that I have a vagina... and I'm short, and I'm less muscular, and I menstruate, etc.
I’m honestly wary that a man who is CF like I am will view me as a man like himself, for all intents and purposes. I don’t want that. Personally, it’s not very romantic to me. It would be like having a platonic friend. I’d resent it. I can’t fully explain why it would be so lackluster for me, but it would - even though I’m CF. It would be ok for a platonic friendship, but I would just feel dead inside if my partner regarded me this way.
I feel especially ashamed of not going 50/50 if I'm with a CF man. Nevertheless, tbh I don't want a "team mate" per se. I don't want to feel like we're coworkers who have sex. I don't want to feel like a live-in FWB.
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 260 points261 points262 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]lilithdianaraFDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cats_and_roses 24 points25 points26 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IWannaBeAnArchitectFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Interesting-Bat3992FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]anotherdamnloserFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]questionasker012FDS Newbie[S] 43 points44 points45 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ShegoGreenFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]08__80FDS Apprentice 157 points158 points159 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]katiekat0214FDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]questionasker012FDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AbbyDean1985FDS Newbie 43 points44 points45 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mamadgafFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]chasingshoesalesFDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Any_Indication_2754FDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]marimare21FDS Newbie 107 points108 points109 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Practical_AppearanceFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]questionasker012FDS Newbie[S] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fdsonlynoscrubsFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ButterfliesHurricaneFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]questionasker012FDS Newbie[S] 18 points19 points20 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]ButterfliesHurricaneFDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DarkWonderfall 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hikari3747FDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Educational_Okra_798Throwaway Account 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hikari3747FDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Educational_Okra_798Throwaway Account 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]questionasker012FDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]questionasker012FDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Hikari3747FDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bluemexicanblanketFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fuckbeingautobanned 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]raindropsonnoses 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Feral_Housewife_FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link