Don’t know if I’m making a mistake by leaving my BF..

January_Rain_93 · 2021-06-20T12:59:20+00:00

If you're not happy then yes you should end it. Breakups don't have to be initiated by cheating, or any negative action. They can be as a result of people growing apart over time.

eveloe · 2021-06-20T14:24:16+00:00

Does anyone else feel like this is a troll post?

OP could you describe what makes him LV as of late? You haven’t mentioned any character traits, only that he’s doing social work part time and also caring for his grandfather, which doesn’t sound bad to me specifically.

It’s tough to give advice as you haven’t mentioned a change in your relationship per se.

What happened first? The grandpa falling ill and him having to get a more accommodating job, or him unilaterally deciding to switch careers. odd that you don’t specify this. 🤨

I know it’s mostly his fault but I can’t stop thinking about it what is his fault exactly? 🧐

he’s not actually getting any more fit at the gym what are you on about?

No context, fictional circumstances, weird statement of guilt that seems at odds with the way you wrote this post = you’re a dude, aren’t you?

_RustInPiece_ · 2021-06-20T12:57:13+00:00

Leave him, it doesn't matter if "he understands" and you don't need to feel guilty about this. Dating is suppost to enrich you life.

bluebird_wings · 2021-06-20T13:06:54+00:00

You should always end relationships that you do not want to be in.

You do not owe anyone else anything.

You can end a relationship for any reason.

You can try and be nice and respectful about the breakup (some people will react terribly no matter how much you try to break up with kindness- doesn't matter, that is not your responsibility), but you do not owe anyone anything. And if you need to move to block and no contact or even PFA orders because they're being an ass in response to the breakup, then do so.

You do not have to maintain contact after a breakup.

You do not have to try and be friendly after a breakup.

Take good care of yourself.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-06-20T13:53:58+00:00

Not to be rude, but what you’re describing doesn’t sound great, it sounds okay. Respect and decent treatment should be bare minimum.

Only you can answer whether you’d regret breaking up with him. But I’d say that fact you’re having persistent thoughts about it indicates it is what you want. Unless you suffer from OCD or intrusive thoughts as a rule, you should listen to your brain when it tries to tell you something like this.

Sage_Planter · 2021-06-20T13:49:55+00:00

This is going to sound dramatic, but hear me out.

Ultimately, you have two options:

Break up, grieve the relationship, and move forward.
Stay with this man, get married, and stay together forever.

Once I frame the situation like that, I realize breaking up is the only real option. Yes, it's super black and white, but sometimes you need to reframe things that way.

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-06-20T13:38:06+00:00

You don’t have to have or give a reason to leave a relationship. It’s not always abusive, there isn’t always cheating sometimes people just change and grow apart. You need to do what makes you happy.

One thing I noted in your post, maybe I’m reading between the lines wrong, but he changed jobs and had a significant reduction in his income. To me that’s a decision that affects both of you as a couple and it should have been discussed rather than imposed.

Do what feels right in your heart and don’t feel guilty because by staying with someone you fell out of love with is not fair on him either, you’d be stopping him from finding his happy.

justforfds · 2021-06-20T19:38:47+00:00

Its really hard to leave when you like someone as a person but his lifestyle is no longer compatible with what you want. A fulfilling life is dependent on so many more things than liking someone.

Your boyfriend is doing good work with the homeless and caring for his grandpa because he wants to. That's fulfilling for him. You must pursue what is fulfilling for you, including compatibility in a relationship.

Nobody deserves to be rewarded for good deeds by winning the fair maiden. You don't owe a "good man" a chance.

Love is never unconditional otherwise we'd indiscriminately partner with anyone, regardless of compatibility.

Title	Don’t know if I’m making a mistake by leaving my BF..
Author	reddit_is_real_bad
Upvotes	1
Comments	20
Date	June 20, 2021 12:47 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/o44z85/dont_know_if_im_making_a_mistake_by_leaving_my_bf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-know-if-im-making-a-mistake-by-leaving-my-bf.785243 https://theredarchive.com/post/785243