~ archived since 2018 ~

"empowerment" is such an empty word

sblwsk
April 2, 2021
3401 upvotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
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Title "empowerment" is such an empty word
Author sblwsk
Upvotes 3401
Comments 65
Date April 2, 2021 11:07 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/empowerment-is-such-an-empty-word.765516
https://theredarchive.com/post/765516
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/miw2ak/empowerment_is_such_an_empty_word/
Top posts by sblwsk

Have men always been so bad?

172 upvotes
February 18, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Comments

[–]ApartPersonalityFDS Newbie 309 points310 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Lol the average man can’t even give it away for free, much less sell it

[–]AocwannabeFDS Apprentice 84 points85 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 “if dick is all you have to offer me, go sell it and bring me the money.”

Scrote brings...-$2.

[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

😂☠️😂

Omg you’ve made my day

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 148 points149 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

...except perhaps to other males.

[–]NadaleenatashaFDS Newbie 55 points56 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

🫖

[–]chickeneryFDS Newbie 689 points690 points  (33 children) | Copy Link

This is something I’ve been reflecting on - how women are always “empowered” by this or that. What does it even mean?

[–]Nifteroni-and-CheeseFDS Newbie 227 points228 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Real empowerment comes from access to education, healthcare, and safe working environments. When people have those, they get to make more decisions about their life, rather than just trying to survive. In particular, women having access to education and birth control is one of the biggest predictors of how free a country actually is, because we’re one of the most universally discriminated against groups and those are the best ways to keep up under control. What I’m saying is empowerment isn’t about feeing hot.

[–]AocwannabeFDS Apprentice 44 points45 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Excellent point apropos how “access to education and birth control is one of the biggest predictors of how free a country actually is...”. Any links or suggestions so that I can look further into this?

[–]logickilledthecatFDS Newbie 39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, and how they invest into women receiving exactly this, therewith fighting overpopulation on this planet, is a place to start that comes to my mind.

[–]AocwannabeFDS Apprentice 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ty!

[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 582 points583 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

It means we don’t get actual power, but we can feel like we have it.

Like giving the kiddo in the backseat a toy steering wheel so she can feel like she’s driving the car.

[–]KuanzhaixiangziFDS Newbie 214 points215 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I saw an add for an OLD platform, the woman in it said 'making the first move makes me feel empowered' like cmon lady. Forget about actual power, let's focus more on making men's weenies feel good. Is that really what we should trying to to sell to women??

[–]RadenoughyetFDS Newbie 123 points124 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Exactly, for someone that’s oppressed to be empowered it actually requires the oppressors to willingly give up their power. And usually when people willingly give up power, it means that they also have the power to take it back.

[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very well said.

[–]CloacaDiddlerFDS Disciple 110 points111 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Typically means giving men what they want, but thinking you’re doing it for you

[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Preach!

[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It means that instead of doing these things just to please all men indiscriminately and get nothing in return (like women had to do in the past), women do these things to please a man (or a woman) of their own choosing with the hope that he/she will give her what she wants in return. (I say "he or she" because women also treat women who comform to gender role expectations better. But men are still the ones who enforce them the most.)

Honestly I get it. Getting to pick the guy whose wish you submit to and getting something in return for your submission is more empowering than submitting without getting to do that. Libfems don't free women from having to do certain labor, they just try to make sure that women are compensated for the labor that they do. Okay.

But the most empowering thing is to not have to rely on any man's approval at all. I think that many libfems unconsciously don't believe that that's possible so they settle for that semi-empowerment, "empowerment by proxy", type of thing.

Strategically libfem logic is pretty smart and valid to some extent. The problem is just that, more often than not, libfems don't just use that logic to protect women, they also harm women because they neglect to recognize that their strategy has a huge downside: many women who make the "choice" to be "a sexually liberated empowered woman" make that choice under a LOT of pressure, to the point that it's not really a choice anymore.

Libfems make sense to some extent but they need to stop being in denial/dishonest about the flaws in their strategy. Their denial harms us all.

[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excellent analysis of the libfem trends!!! 💯💯💯

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 116 points117 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Idk what it’s supposed to mean to be empowered but at least it acknowledges that women are lacking societal power in some way (there’s still a patriarchy, perhaps?) in the first place if they need to be naked and getting slapped and hit in order to get some of that power.

[–]WatzooFDS Newbie 12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Naked or covered. Both are options for women solely because of what those clothes supposedly do to men’s own perception of their own choices. We believe men won’t react appropriately to the presence of a fellow human but perhaps he will respond appropriately to the clothes.

How many of men’s clothing options exist solely because of what they look like to women? Men’s clothing is designed to be functional, mobile, environmentally appropriate, and to help them fit in with their male counterparts. No one is pushing speedos and giant kaftans to men in offices and grocery stores and construction sites because (1) women’s eyes aren’t a threat that men are expected to dress for /around, and (2) men get to dress for themselves and the demands of their own daily lives.

I’m having flashbacks from that Netflix movie “I am not an easy man” now. It captures the bs around women’s clothing so beautifully.

[–]Notspecificc 101 points102 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I never understood that word either

[–]chunkycasperFDS Newbie 70 points71 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I always interpreted 'empowered' as 'given the tools and/or confidence to move forward or achieve'.

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 86 points87 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

But I’m not sure how nakedness and violence gives us tools and self confidence?

[–]goldspotzingthingFDS Newbie 84 points85 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The person inflicting the violence exercises the power. Having someone strip at one's command gives them power. They are not empowered though. Most women who put themselves in such a situation sexually have problems with self-esteem, are codependent, lack self-worth, and are deprived of love. I once met a woman who was so isolated and neglected by her family that she sought attention outside the home. She believed that having sex with any man who wanted it from her were the only moments when she got 'love.' It was a warped understanding of what love should look like. She was young and abused repeatedly by different men in various degrees. She never realized that though. Even the ugliest man gains a sense of pride when a woman leans on him. Most men will misuse that opportunity. Women who grew up with abandonment issues and without a secure childhood, unless they work on themselves, might end up in this emotional limbo. At the end of the day we all crave affection, love, emotional security, intimacy, and trust. Some women believe that these can be attained by throwing themselves at a man, emotionally, bodily, sexually. Sometimes they know that the man doesn't care one wee bit. It doesn't help in the end. It's sad to see such women.

[–]logickilledthecatFDS Newbie 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sis here spitting pure FACTS.

​

To a T. I could add countless examples for further underline every single claim you've made so far here. 🎯

[–]RojavaLoverFDS Newbie 105 points106 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because female sexuality has been repressed for so long and women were forced to be virgins until marriage, etc so today women think doing the opposite of that = empowerment. What they fail to understand is, too much of anything is bad for you, esp in a society where there still is a powerful patriarchy in place which means being that way still benefits men.

We need balance and critical consciousness. Strong sound judgment and to be ruthless when it comes to our safety and freedom.

[–]chunkycasperFDS Newbie 41 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think the post is using empowered as satire here in response to ppl saying this shit is empowering. It is not.

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I see and I agree. 👍🏽

[–]chunkycasperFDS Newbie 33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Empowerment is important because its about creating the conditions for people to be able to progress themselves.

It means that the subject has the choice and ability to do what they want, instead of these choices being made for them, or situations happening to them.

Don't let misogynists and pro-porn 'feminists' put you off the word.

[–]Bitter_Froyo_6742FDS Newbie 51 points52 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's actually a smart but outdated concept. In a patriarchal world, how can a woman can power? By gaining control of a man who is the holder of all power. How does a woman gain control of a man? His pee-pee.

If you look back, the appeal of being a mistress was that it was was a way to assure a comfortable life without permanently sacrificing rights and independence through marriage. A mistress was essentially a wife except the things she owned were her, whereas a wife didn't even own herself. Maybe it's not fair that a woman might have to sleep her way to the top to succeed, but for some women it was worth it for their freedoms that came to being on top.

Taking ownership and pride in your body is definitely good for women, but we've moved past prostitution being the only realistic means of self-sufficiency for a woman. Unless your planning to sell your body or at least leverage it for personal benefit, then ownership of ones sexuality and power are largely 2 seperate convos.

ALTHOUGH, I WILL SAY - feeling like a baddie does make it a lot easier to walk away from fuckbois and to be demanding and unapologetic sexually. It shouldn't be required and no amount of external changes will help if you don't have the mindset, but changes to outward appearance does have a surprisingly strong effect on our internal selves. So women should do whatever it takes for them to feel like hot shit. Some of the superficial girly primping I do to feel "empowered" is stuff I know for a fact men don't care about - no man has ever given a shit about my nails, but it definitely ties together my confidence to feel invincible. Men do care about hair and makeup, but even on my most pick-me days I really couldn't be bothered to do more than the bare minimum there becuase I don't feel empowered just cause guys think I'm prettier.

I think it mentally helps give a boost the same way a quick burst of cleaning can help you finally tackle the stuff you've been avoiding. I don't think the the fact men don't do these things mena's much - gay men care about their appearance, lesbians care about their appearance. The average straight dude is gross, depressed, immature, and codependent. I'm not gonna base whether or not my actions have validity on someone who has only ever succeeded because of a rigged game. They don't have their legs, but they also done wash their ass. They're gross. The average straight dude also has weird body issues and a lot of sexual hangups so I wouldn't exactly call them "empowered" either.

[–]Lunarfalcon025At-Risk Pick Me Youth 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

According to liberal feminism, sadly, empowerment is synonymous with submission to male pleasure

[–]a_room_of_my_own3FDS Newbie 46 points47 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's weird. Prostitution is considered one of the oldest "jobs"; women have been doing it for a looong time. But we only got our rights like 100 years ago (and only in certain places of the world). Almost as if..it doesn't give us any power as a class?🤔

[–]Exsqueeze_mehFDS Apprentice 276 points277 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For me, casual sex made me feel like shit. It was not empowering, and I repeatedly ignored my inner knowing that it didnt feel good because society has been telling me it should be. We are being lied to, that it's empowering to pretend you don't care, to pretend it's all about the sex too "it's fun, just go have fun!" ... well, generally for me and as far as I know a lot of women, sex with a rando with whom we have zero connection is a waste of time and feels like shit.

And i'm sick of men putting it all on women as if they don't fucking push our boundaries, call us a prude if we say"hey, i'm not cool with talking about sex with you, we just met" etc. Men push and neg and manipulate to get sex. They know what they're doing and they know where we are coming from. It's taken me a long time to get to this point but now i would absolutely delete and block the second a scrote pushes my boundaries, and all the while knowing i'll be called an ugly fat bitch for doing so.

[–]twisdom12FDS Newbie 128 points129 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a way to control us for their own enjoyment and pleasure. Fuck that shit.

[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie 128 points129 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Wait a sec. Men's sexual market value is infinite, it truly is baffling why they're not trying to profit off of it.

[–]burpleseaurchinPickmeisha™️ 164 points165 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah they pEaK at 50 so I'm sure everyone is dying to pay for a 50 year old man's OnlyFans 🤪

[–]LevellingUpTimeFDS Newbie 108 points109 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

And the Ideal Male Body is so obviously dAd bOdS like studies say. Where are my balding 50 year old beer-bellied boys? I'm tired of men my age with their washboard abs and their penis not hidden behind fupa and all their teeth 😩

[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie 35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL. And sadly, the guys your age most likely also have beer bellies to emulate The Family Guy and King of Queens because they have hot wives.

[–]UnstrirringCoffeeFDS Apprentice 42 points43 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

The word is not empty, but the way we use it is.

People think you can "feel" empowered or that there is such a thing as individual empowerment. This is not true. We can only BE empowered and it only ever truly works if we women, as a group, are empowered to make permenant and positive changes to our lives.

Empowerment means that we have options regarding our career and where we live and what education we persue. It has nothing to do with getting cheered on at a twerking contest (Liberated) or a career ending decision such as having an OnlyFans page.

Pointing this out doe snot remove anyone's "agency". If anything, being aware of the pitfall that exist for women and helping ourselves and other women avoid them, gives women agency.

[–]RowbloksFDS Newbie 25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

or a career ending decision such as having an OnlyFans page

I still can't believe that something as destructive and permanent as nudes has been normalized. If women were the ones who loved nudes and men were the ones putting their career and reputation at risk by sending them, there's no way in hell that sending them would be considered so normal.

It is such a lack of respect towards someone to pressure them to hand over all the power that they have over their own image and their future by pressuring them to send you nudes.

And sending nudes even though you have zero guarantee that the other person won't share them just shows how extremely little you care about yourself.

I feel so bad for all the young girls who are going to ruin their own life by sending nudes because they'll have been brainwashed into thinking that they're "boring prudes" if they don't send them. self-respect is only "bOrING" to people who want to take advantage of you.

[–]ScrotonimoStiltonFDS Apprentice 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It almost seems as if this new liberal society agenda is trying to confuse and put people against each other by stripping words of their meaning.. Hmm... 🤔

[–]UnstrirringCoffeeFDS Apprentice 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I see what you did there. It's very orwellian, but it is happening everywhere. PR (instead of propagranda) "peacekeeper", "empowerment", "agency", "intersection*lity", "freedom", "free-markert economy" (a.k.a. capitalism, a.k.a. tax-breaks for the rich and large corporations), "r*d-pill" (formerly used by r*dical feminists for women who woke up to the mechanisms of the patriarchy), etc.

I can't think of anymore, but I remember learning the definition of so many words where their true meaning surprised me to no end. As an adult I mostly stopped questioning these defintions till I found feminism.

[–]Apricot_IbexFDS Newbie 42 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

There was a recent “Am I the Asshole?” post where a mom was attacked for having reservations about sending her 5 year old daughter to a makeover party where she’d get a full face of makeup because she was worried about the message it would send her young daughter about body image.

EVERYONE was calling her an asshole and saying that makeup is “empowering” and how she can’t control her daughter’s choices. A freaking 5 year old, not a teen! And not just dress-up fun with tiaras and a little nail polish and glitter, but full on professional “model” makeup and hair with a hired artist.

The only person questioning why kindergarten boys don’t have makeover parties was downvoted to oblivion. 🤡 Don’t ever question anything, ladies- EVERYTHING is empowering! /s

[–]HappyNovelFDS Newbie 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I remember reading this. The woman’s daughter didn’t even care. She just went and started dancing to a song she liked. The woman’s husband thought she was an asshole too.

Just because she didn’t want her five year old to be covered in makeup.

[–][deleted] 410 points411 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

w0MeN LiVe 0n eASy m0dE

[–]squaremarshmallowFDS Newbie 107 points108 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Honestly, I've never once felt a need to be "empowered". I am already powerful as a human being and as a woman, and what I want is for that power to not be taken from me by lv boyfriends, husbands, family members, colleagues, harmful societal norms.

[–]logickilledthecatFDS Newbie 15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

See that's too much of an ask of these losers right there.

​

I WaNt aLLLLLL poWAAaaaaaa yESsssss, iTs ALL mINe raAh.

​

Mindset of scarcity. They feel they have their own power taken away the second another person has power too.

Which means they hold no power whatsoever.

[–]eatchickpeasFDS Newbie 171 points172 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

men's idea of femininity swings between being weak/pretty/always sexy/make babies/being a bitch/being a prude etc. the basic idea is that women exist for sex in some way, she exists for the man and to be worthy of his valuable attention, she must show she is willing to work. thats her waxing her legs/doing chores/being curvy/being thin, enduring pain. these are all things no man would do for a woman because by default the woman 'should' be listening to the men. the woman by default would provide sex so why would a man want to do anything for her. she is a dumb, weak but sexy object he must ACQUIRE. she isnt human

[–]redpeithosFDS Apprentice 73 points74 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

There are certain words which are just thrown around, until one day, they fall apart into meaningless symbols...

[–]Nice_Pass2393FDS Newbie 41 points42 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most things men say are meaningless

[–]DependentSite210FDS Newbie 20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Men already have power.

Women are taught that our power doesn't lie in equal opportunity.

Rather, it lies in our ability to access power by gaining the approval of men who have power.

[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is so well put and succinct—saving it. Gonna show it to any loser who wonders why women aren’t truly free.

[–]m00n5t0n3FDS Newbie 40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think empowerment is a real thing but it does not apply to any of the things listed in the post, and it does not replace actual power/influence/safety/etc.

[–]JamiepappasatlantaFDS Newbie 59 points60 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

90 percent of men are fucking ugly. Yuk

[–]lvoncreekFDS Newbie 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Facts

[–]JamiepappasatlantaFDS Newbie 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Facts are: 90% of the men I see walking around look fucking ugly to me.

[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Saying “Facts” means “That’s a fact! You are right!” She didn’t mean “Please provide facts.”

Just for future reference 👍🏻

[–]PornruinedsocietyFDS Disciple 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because we don't need to pay for it and even if we did we still wouldn't waste our money. Dick is abundant and free.

[–]ScrotonimoStiltonFDS Apprentice 34 points35 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

My dear friends, it's all very simple.

Our biological features are just perceived differently. The male anatomy and penis is considered powerful, thrusting, energetic, imposing and dominant.

The female anatomy.... is considered a HOLE in which you stick a penis. That's it, that's what you are, shh stop complaining.

Don't you hole havers want to be just as empowered as men feel? We will tell you lies that directly serve our penises. Look we also have handmaids who we brainwashed enough into thinking that pleasing the penis is the most valuable goal in life!

[–]NoSurprise7196FDS Newbie 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep this is where I’m at too sis

[–]Bitter_Froyo_6742FDS Newbie 38 points39 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I mean...men don't even wash their ass so I'm not sure we should be using straight men as a baseline to judge women's actions. I get that the point is to challenge superficial "empowerment" that doesn't actually challenge sexist patriarchal norms and that objectification is not a real path towards empowerment. BUT, I don't think I know many women who would want to live like men even if the patriarchy and sexism disappeared tomorrow. Have you met straight men? They're miserable and they hate themselves and they're so weird and uptight about their bodies and sex. If I felt the way about my body that the average straight dude does about his, I'd cry. Despite what straight men think, I don't think being pretty and excessive grooming standards us an issue. I like being smooth and smelling good. Does it empower me? Not outside of any extra self-advocacy I get from a boost in self confidence.

I don't want to be like a straight man. They're gross and sad. I want to be a woman with the freedoms and opportunities and social protection if a man, but other than societal priveleges there's absolutely nothing about my life I would want to resemble a straight man's.

Exploring my bisexuality has helped me separate my own (admittedly gendered) behaviors from things which are the result of sexist expectations. Gay women don't expect to you to be a hairless baby, but it turns out that I just genuinely don't like armpit hair. I sweat way more, and I think my armpit hair just looks bad somehow. On the opposite end, I don't like makeup. If I am dealing with hormonal acne, I like to have a basic face done-up, but I have zero interest in contouring and highlighting and creative eyeshadow looks. Turns out that's a purely performative desire to be attractive to those I find attractive (and I've realized men are not worth the effort, so either they need to find my bare face cute or they can move in cause I'm not going makeup on a regular basis for the rest of my life. I refuse)

[–]Nice_Pass2393FDS Newbie 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm with you on that. I also have acne but I refuse to wear makeup everyday

[–]FlockAroundtheClockFDS Newbie 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Excellent questions.

[–]BlackGirlNerdFDS Newbie 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This would make all the purple-haired, septum ring people on Facebook literally SHAKE with anger.

Then they'll attempt to tell you you're anti-woman if you don't buy in that such actions are empowering.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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