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breadandbunny
[โ]PahapanFDS Disciple 313 points314 points315 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
When I finally broke up with my ex successfully for the final time he got pissed and threatened to violate me. I went complete no contact and had my brother drive me to his mom's house (where he'd lived before worming his way in with me) so I could drop off everything he'd left at my place. I didn't want him having a single excuse to show up and I never wanted to see him again. My brother walked the stuff up and left it on the stoop.
It lightly drizzled a few hours later and my ex EMAILED me saying that telling me he was going to violate me was wrong and he was sorry for that but that me leaving all his stuff out to get "drenched" was violating to him. This coming from the man who'd raped and reproductively coerced me. Amazing.
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 203 points204 points205 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hand to God, hell is empty and all the devils are here. I am glad you are free.
[โ]vbych76FDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've had to organize storages, couriers, deliveries, paid by me, for a NVM in the past, so I can get rid of his junk, cluttering my space. But you know- I am the "passive- agressive" one if he is too drunk all the time to take care of his possessions and belongings.Take a sh*tbag home and all you get is more problems.
[โ]queenagaveFDS Newbie 261 points262 points263 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[โ]RecentSprinkles5997FDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ah so youโve met my family
[โ]nomadzebraFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
First post I see on Reddit today and just what I need to hear, this is exactly what I'm going through right now
[โ]tropjeune 85 points86 points87 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Me: explains why their behavior was unfair to me Them: Why are you trying to make me feel guilty?!
[โ]BananaSlugGhostFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Because feeling guilty is a useful and normal reaction that you should utilize to work on yourself. It's a message from your body that you did something you don't feel proud about.
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They're literally incompetent. What is the point of having a brain in one's skull if they can't even think with it?
[โ]crossedback 55 points56 points57 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"I just don't understand why you are being so mean". Um, This is a normal reaction to the way you've been treating me...
[+][deleted] 2 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[โ]Superb-Cancel9071FDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"that I wouldn't tolerate from someone else" -- the truthiness
[โ]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is why I no longer waste time explaining the golden rule to adults. Genuine miscommunication is one thing, but manipulation and disrespect are intentional.
So, I no longer explain, I just disappear. Narcissistic personalities know what they're doing and will use any attempt at further communication to start a fight.
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is why I am a fucking hawk for narcissistic tendencies.
[โ]TheHayleStorm204FDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Literally my ex. Him: โI feel unsafe in this relationship because you always make me the bad guyโ. Me: โI just call you out when you do really bad shit to meโฆโ
[โ]TerryCrewsNextWifeFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I've already punished myself long enough for this before you brought it up, I don't need you making me feel worse" - when I confronted the ex about his bullshit behind my back.
The trash took itself out. I have no need to go back and check on it ever again. It's always going to be trash.
[โ]katherinenicc 20 points21 points22 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
But donโt you see how much it hurts me that I hurt you? I feel so guiltyโฆ and now you wonโt even give me a second chance!
[โ]_queeeen_FDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sooooooo truuuuuuue
[โ]up_d00tFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I find that when I'm in a relationship I get a song in my head. With my ex it was "I quit" by Hepburn. At the moment it's "head over feet" by Alanis Morrisette.
The one thing I've learned in my 35 years on the planet is it's sometimes worth listening to the songs I get stuck in my head
[โ]RadioactiveJoyFDS Disciple 32 points33 points34 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have hyperphantasia. My councillor all tried to convince me I have ptsd but in reality I just have an insanely vivid imagination. It sucked being reminded any good times with my ex because of that ultra HD techicolor smell-o vision, so I had to start taking memories I thought I loved and rewrite the files, and to do that I used songs.
Iโd have a a couple kinda edgy breakup songs, or those songs that make you wanna push a glass off a table. I just edit lyrics here and there to make it appropriate for my situation. Itโs like buying a perfume on a bad day.
I also use the same Pavlov technique to get over some other triggers. I gave my brother his deodorant, now when I smell it I just see my uncle and brother. His name isnโt even a trigger anymore I have three people ahead of him with his name thank god itโs common lmao
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
These are really good tips! Ages ago, I stopped buying a brand of lotion I used to always use because I always used it when I visited an ex. It's funny how you begin to associate certain things with people.
[โ]ElegauntFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Had a NVX complain/mourn that he would no longer get to do a leisure activity we did together because I was mad at him for being abusive. He wasn't upset about the abusive part. He was upset about the lack of access to the activity he "was just starting to get good at"... ugh.
Rollerskating. It was rollerskating.
These folks have no shame.
[โ]pineapplequeeenFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lol my ex when he dumped me and begged for me back and I tried but then I resented him so much for what he did that he said I hated him and then dumped me because he was the victim now. Good riddance boiiii.
[โ]QueasyEducation5FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is SO true!
[โ]emsiecat 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol, sounds like my narcissist ex alright!
[โ]whyamilikethis__ 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
BIG YEP
[โ]redcatisfat 7 points8 points9 points 2 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Perfectly, succinctly, well-said.
[โ]kaytydid 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh wow that rings so true for me recent ex. Ugh.
[โ]GreenPhantom161 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had an old roommate like this, absolutely the worst
[โ]Distinct_Ad_9962 12 points13 points14 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
God...this is so true. My guy friend is pretending to be a victim now after harassing a girl and his gf believes him....sad
[โ]funhappysuperpuppy 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes
[โ]honeybadgerattitudeFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex has that T-shirt!
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[โ]PahapanFDS Disciple 313 points314 points315 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 203 points204 points205 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[โ]vbych76FDS Newbie 83 points84 points85 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[โ]queenagaveFDS Newbie 261 points262 points263 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[โ]RecentSprinkles5997FDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]nomadzebraFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]tropjeune 85 points86 points87 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[โ]BananaSlugGhostFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]crossedback 55 points56 points57 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[โ]Superb-Cancel9071FDS Newbie 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]TheHayleStorm204FDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]TerryCrewsNextWifeFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]katherinenicc 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]_queeeen_FDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]up_d00tFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[โ]RadioactiveJoyFDS Disciple 32 points33 points34 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]ElegauntFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[โ]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]pineapplequeeenFDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]QueasyEducation5FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]emsiecat 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]whyamilikethis__ 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]redcatisfat 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]kaytydid 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]GreenPhantom161 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]Distinct_Ad_9962 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]funhappysuperpuppy 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[โ]honeybadgerattitudeFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link