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Pickled_Tink_Tea
[–]heythereitsemilyFDS Newbie 526 points527 points528 points 2 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link
Honestly the worst part of a relationship is that it’s gonna require sex that I don’t get off to. I’d really rather just masturbate alone and orgasm in 2 minutes, instead of putting in all that work for his pleasure and not getting any in return.
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 304 points305 points306 points 2 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link
It doesn't have to be that way. I'm still vetting, but I'm a few months in with a potential HVM and he always, without fail, gives me at least one orgasm, usually more, before he even thinks about penetration.
[–]DoggonelovahFDS Newbie 208 points209 points210 points 2 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
I’ve seen so many posts online about men being bad at sex that I feel very fortunate that the only man I’ve ever had a sexual relationship with gave me 2-3 orgasms before even penetrating every time. And then there would almost always be another one when PIV happened
I thought this was standard 😬
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 136 points137 points138 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not, the opposite is standard. I'm so glad you've had a good experience!
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie 70 points71 points72 points 2 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I could never come first, always preferred to come at the same time, because if I come first I wouldn’t be horny enough to continue for my partner to finish. I suppose my ex wasn’t good enough at foreplay to put me back in the mood, but I always wondered how women could come once and keep going
[–]CologneMomFDS Newbie 67 points68 points69 points 2 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
This. He wasn't good enough. My husband always made me come, most times I need to come twice to be satisfied. But you also have to know your own body and be receptive and relaxed. It took me ten years of sex to really be able to let go and come by PIV. My husband was the best of my lovers and the last. Edit: he was also the lover with the least experience, had only slept with two women before me. So it is not a question of that. Caring for your partners pleasure is more important. Aaaand I was at the point where I really liked sex.
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I feel I have a refractory period after orgasm lol There was one time in 5 years my ex made me come twice within seconds (he finally found a rhythm with me aka rubbing my clit with his body during sex) and that was incredible. He never attempted to do it again even though I raved about it. I aspire to find a man who can do that regularly, I have hope.I’ll probably require a couple orgasms before penetrative sex just just to see how willing the man is
[–]CologneMomFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Couldn't you move your body so the touching was increased?
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I did regularly but he was more of a jackhammer type
[–]CologneMomFDS Newbie -3 points-2 points-1 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why stay five years? Was the rest perfect?
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol I was a massive pick me😅
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
How are you at finding needles in haystacks?
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Dude I'm 40 and I just found this guy. I can relate.
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I am of the opinion that what passes for porn these days has ruined the sexual experience for a lot of women. I also think men have desensitized their penises from jerking all the time, so jackhammering is the only way they feel anything.
I’m too old to care but it’s still sad that women continue to fight this battle with insensitive men.
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it's been this way long before porn. Women were expected to fulfil their "wifely duties" but nobody was teaching men how to please a woman.
There are books from the 40s/50s which instructed women to let out a small gasp to indicate that she'd orgasmed (obvs she hadn't) so that her husband could feel good about finishing.
The man's pleasure has always been prioritised at the expense of the woman's.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Damn you’re lucky 🥲
[–]r4nd0m-u53rFDS Newbie 108 points109 points110 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I was in the same place. Why bother having sex when men suck at it. So I waited to have sex with a new partner until I could confirm they met my expectations. Committed exclusive relationship + STI test + condoms without complaint + enjoys making me orgasm.
My current bf, when I asked him to get tested he went the next day, but he also didn't pressure me after he got his results back, nor did he ask what I was waiting for. I won't do birth control, there were no complaints about condoms. I didn't have to ask for an orgasm he just gave me one on multiple occasions before we even had PIV. He is currently also wanting to see if I can have multiple orgasms. He has never asked me my body count but told me his.
Set your bar high and you'll find someone to meet it.
[–]Peak_TreeFDS Newbie 349 points350 points351 points 2 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
I just read a twitter thread bemoaning that sex that requires men to make a woman orgams before he gets his own in "piling on expectation on men" and "orgasmcentric" and I couldn't have rolled my eyes harder if I tried.
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist 188 points189 points190 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
A woman eating any return on sexual service she supplies to men: "don't be so orgasmcentric".
They already made women having and wanting orgasms a mental illness in the past. See hysteria and clitoridectomy.
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 62 points63 points64 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yup, it's ridiculous. Sadly it was a woman who posted this.
I think the context of this is that SSRIs inhibit one's ability to orgasm, but that doesn't mean that intimacy and sensuality should be taken off the table. Which is a fair point.
But that's not cause for an argument against orgasms.
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 68 points69 points70 points 2 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Please, please, please link to it. I need to read this scrotery!
[–]-25TFDS Newbie 54 points55 points56 points 2 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Orgasm-centric sex does a disservice to everyone involved pass it on
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 88 points89 points90 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Oh this is just awful.
I mean, yes, sex can be pleasurable without an orgasm every time. But orgasms are awesome and I want them whenever I can get them.
[–]-25TFDS Newbie 134 points135 points136 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I remember some time ago in AskMen, the topic was something like "what stupidly obvious thing did you have to learn?" A husband said he was making an off-topic comment to his wife. Like, at the breakfast table, and it was a tangent comment that opened his eyes when his wife cut him off to show him he was being sexist. To paraphrase:
Man: I was reading this article last night, blah blah blah, but women can enjoy sex without the goal being orgasm, [looks at wife] so I... Wife: What is the goal of sex if not an orgasm? Man: Well I mean of course it is, but if it doesn't happen then-- Wife: So a man can enjoy sex without an orgasm? They start sex with their lover and don't mind if they don't orgasm?
The sad thing is I saw this type of exchange at least twice where their SO made them realize how dumb it sounds once they put it into penis perspective.
[–]mashibeansFDS Apprentice 78 points79 points80 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have to disagree with the "sex can be pleasurable without an orgasm every time" bit. If you didn't get an orgasm, it was foreplay, not sex. Sure, out of context foreplay (again, not sex) IS pleasurable in and of itself, but I can tell you that every single time I masturbated and didn't get an orgasm (too tired, too stressed, etc.), I ended up just frustrated.
I didn't care that the stuff beforehand was in and of itself pleasurable, the whole point of engaging in a sexual activity (by yourself, or with a partner) is to achieve climax.
I used to swallow that pickme stuff whole, but now I'm against all sex that men demand/feel entitled from women, without women getting at least one orgasm out of it.
As I said above, I think this is in the context of SSRIs inhibiting orgasm, and the idea that despite this, intimacy and sensuality should not be taken off the table.
[–]HengroenAndLlamreiFDS Newbie 231 points232 points233 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
They can find the +5 Legacy Power Gem at the end of the Master Mode Maze after doing a 30 man raid for 2 weeks straight using a player guide and hand annotated map while simultaneously strategically building their Fantasy Football rosters based on states and bragging about how they sniped someone from a hidden location in COD. They are LYING when they say they can’t find the clit or figure out how to finger you. They are just unmotivated and don’t care.
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 112 points113 points114 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yup, for LVM it just isn't worth the effort. They get off either way so they don't care.
A HVM enjoys pleasing his woman in bed. He wants to give his woman pleasure. Its a point of pride when he gives his woman an orgasm. He enjoys it.
[–]DnotchtiebdFDS Newbie 320 points321 points322 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
And then men will blame us for their inadequacy. It's the biggest joke
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 218 points219 points220 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yup "wOmEnS dOn'T kNoW hOw ThEy BoDiEs WoRkS"
[–]Big-Respond8481FDS Newbie 159 points160 points161 points 2 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Apparently I do know, I make myself cum every time. I am able to find the clit.
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 68 points69 points70 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same lol. And thankfully so is my man.
[–]IwantyoualltoBEDAVEPickmeisha™️ 394 points395 points396 points 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I realised it’s all a fucking lie when I found out men have invented finger lube for playing guitar. They can learn and figure out what they want to. They just don’t care about our sexual pleasure
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 190 points191 points192 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Exactly! I commented on another post yesterday that men just can't care about women's pleasure unless their dick is involved.
And even then their own pleasure comes first.
[–]-25TFDS Newbie 116 points117 points118 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When masturbating, 95% of women orgasm. In first-time hookups with women, [it drops to] 64%. In first-time hookups with men, [it drops to] 7%. This tells us that the problem isn't women's ability to orgasm. It's our cultural scripts for heterosexual sex.
I knew that for women with a new partner is was 10% chance or lower but I didn't realize it was that abysmal for only when the partner was a man. I am both shocked and not surprised that the average lesbian will be able to give a new partner an orgasm more than half of the time.
If the woman's orgasm was required for pregnancy, this shit would've been figured out a long time ago.
[–]LittleSnackPack58FDS Newbie 112 points113 points114 points 2 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
This is why I don't understand why some of my friends want one night stands/casual sex with scrotes they barely know. I'm accused of not being sex positive because I don't think it's smart to:
Risk yourself to male violence to have sex with a guy you barely know. One friend invited a scrote to her apt after talking with him online. He treated her horribly and now has her address.
Risk having an unwanted pregnancy. Men never have to worry about this and will stick their dick raw into anything/argue about using condoms.
Not even getting an orgasm from the encounter!!
Remind me what is the fucking point of any of this???
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Being touch starved is a big issue. Especially since the pandemic, but even before that. Female friends have admitted they do hookups just to get the obligatory cuddle afterwards.
I've always come across as maternal, so my female friends have often just scooched up to me on the sofa and snuggled up to me. I've never invited it, they just do. I don't mind though, it's better than them hooking up with some weirdo just so someone will hug them.
[–]LittleSnackPack58FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can understand being touched starved, especially during quarantine. In my friend group, this behavior was happening before the pandemic so maybe in their case it's male validation and attention? I'll never understand it.
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 50 points51 points52 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm so embarrassed for all the men who are Big Mad and trying to comment on this. It's a scientific study my dudes.
[–]ferociouslycuriousFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My ex: “You don’t act like you’re enjoying sex you just lay there”. Yeah loser, that’s a hint you refuse to take. I fully act like I enjoy the parts I do but most of what you do is THAT pointless.
[–]fak_beauty_standardsFDS Newbie 85 points86 points87 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
sometimes women just can't get there - a man who doesn't know what a clit is
[–]LittleSnackPack58FDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or they know where the clit is but don't care to put forth the effort.
[–]saralafontaineFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of those hookups are about men getting sex and then running away like they’ve committed a crime. Her orgasm is definitely not anything he is interested in.
[–]raggedclaws_silentCsFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why is it that they think that rubbing the general area really fast over jeans is going to do it for you? Why is it that when the pants come off, they just try to do the same thing? It’s like they’re the dentist in Little Shop of Horrors just going crazy with his little drill. I almost want to laugh before I yelp in pain.
[–]Angeli_33FDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's why we can't let go of that one guy who CAN make it work. We don't want to let go of that good dicc, but he's usually full of red flags. Life is so unfair sometimes. 😔
[–]TellCerseeItWasMeFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I wonder where this stat comes from
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 97 points98 points99 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Her own research, she's a sexuality psychologist
https://www.drlauriemintz.com/
[–]TellCerseeItWasMeFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
whoa omg
[–]makingballoons 3 points4 points5 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
FACTS. 💯
[–]MuffcakelordFDS Disciple -4 points-3 points-2 points 2 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I believe these numbers to be unrefutable but i would love if anyone could find a source we could link to whenever someone doubts us
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
The doctors name is in the picture. She's a sexuality psychologist. She's the source.
[–]MuffcakelordFDS Disciple 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The numbers themselves ought to come from somewhere, like a study or estimation or calculation.
Edit: https://www.drlauriemintz.com/post/the-orgasm-gap-facts-behind-male-vs-female-orgasm-sexual-solutions
Perfect, thank you!
© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]heythereitsemilyFDS Newbie 526 points527 points528 points (28 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 304 points305 points306 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]DoggonelovahFDS Newbie 208 points209 points210 points (18 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 136 points137 points138 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie 70 points71 points72 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]CologneMomFDS Newbie 67 points68 points69 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie 36 points37 points38 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]CologneMomFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]CologneMomFDS Newbie -3 points-2 points-1 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gambit12345FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Wiggy_BopFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]r4nd0m-u53rFDS Newbie 108 points109 points110 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Peak_TreeFDS Newbie 349 points350 points351 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist 188 points189 points190 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 62 points63 points64 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 68 points69 points70 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]-25TFDS Newbie 54 points55 points56 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 88 points89 points90 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]-25TFDS Newbie 134 points135 points136 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mashibeansFDS Apprentice 78 points79 points80 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HengroenAndLlamreiFDS Newbie 231 points232 points233 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 112 points113 points114 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DnotchtiebdFDS Newbie 320 points321 points322 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 218 points219 points220 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Big-Respond8481FDS Newbie 159 points160 points161 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 68 points69 points70 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IwantyoualltoBEDAVEPickmeisha™️ 394 points395 points396 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 190 points191 points192 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]-25TFDS Newbie 116 points117 points118 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LittleSnackPack58FDS Newbie 112 points113 points114 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]LittleSnackPack58FDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 50 points51 points52 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ferociouslycuriousFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]fak_beauty_standardsFDS Newbie 85 points86 points87 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LittleSnackPack58FDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]saralafontaineFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]raggedclaws_silentCsFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Angeli_33FDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TellCerseeItWasMeFDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 97 points98 points99 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TellCerseeItWasMeFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]makingballoons 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MuffcakelordFDS Disciple -4 points-3 points-2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MuffcakelordFDS Disciple 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Pickled_Tink_TeaFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link