Time and time again I came to appreciate FDS more each time it brings so much value to my life.

I just kicked an LV scrote friend out of my life and I felt so at peace and happy.

Just to give some context on what happened. Skim through to get to takeaways below if you wish!

I've known this friend for several years since college. Hanging out with him could be quite fun, and he has a car while I don't so we usually went to farms and flower fields (which I really like) that I normally couldn't. He knew I enjoyed this as a leverage to have me hang out with him.

The caveat is he made lots of TMI jokes and acted creepy or pushy. He didn't know how to read the air on when to stop, especially with his pregnancy fetish. He often gazed at my belly and made allusions to how he'd like to touch a full and round belly whenever we grabbed a bite (I'm not fat or pregnant at all). He really seemed to enjoy it when pushing my buttons and irritating me on purpose, and filming those moments "just for fun on TikTok as we're friends".

Last weekend, things actually blew up. I was having a really bad migraine and the weather was really humid and suffocating. I told him that I wanted some quiet time on our drive back, but he kept pestering me with tactless jokes and insisting we continue to hang out somewhere, which really irritated me. I was totally at my wits' end and yelled at him to shut up and I just wanted to go home.

After I got home, I texted him sorry for throwing a tantrum. Then I explained to him that when I said "I want to go home, I'm feeling unwell" or "I don't feel comfortable about preggo jokes, please stop", I meant it. But he kept going back and forth over texts to challenge me on my boundaries and he still played the innocent that he "didn't know or realize" when I meant it.

That's bullshit because it was very simple and straightforward that no means no and I asked him to stop repeatedly.

Eventually, he flipped out on me and said "let's just quit all of this hanging out bullshit". He accused me of being too selfish and not treating him as an equal and not thinking about how he felt. (Once we were chatting about marriage and I mentioned how I won't want to split 50/50 on bills on top of all the childbirth and childcare and housework that a woman has to do. He got so annoyed when hearing that and said that isn't fair to men!!! It was just a harmless convo - we weren't dating and no one would force him to marry someone like me and my standards 🤪).

And now he used that discussion against me to say how I was overreacting and not being fair to him, he was just joking, and ~our life values and our respective capacity when handling jokes~ were too different. He told me we should stop hanging out, but keep the friendship 🤡

I was like, lmao where did you get the audacity to cut me off this easily, yet still assume to keep the privilege of staying ~friends~ with me after all this disrespect?

Bye loser. I blocked and deleted him shortly after. 2 days later and I already wiped him out of my mind and I'm excited about making weekend plans with plenty of other better, more HV friends!

Note that this friend has an alcoholic father and a tolerant and exhausted mother growing up. He never had good role models growing up and was likely not taught about boundaries and how he should treat women. He would demand equality between men and women all the time, of course, at women's expense.

So here are my FDS takeaways that prove that FDS really works.

  • It's only all fun and games to spend time and let LV people tramp over your boundaries UNTIL you tell them you don't like it. LV people will get unreasonably angry at you for making them feel bad about their shitty behavior. Watch how upset they get - it makes absolutely no sense. What they are saying is "Wow you are resisting against me when I purposefully put you down and disrespect you, it's not fun for me anymore".
  • Values can be different but respect is respect and if someone doesn't feel good, you back the hell off. A good friend would listen and respect the other person's discomfort. No matter how many years you've known this person, you still set boundaries and have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to ignoring and pushing boundaries.
  • Casually bringing up FDS rules (but not mentioning specifically that it's from FDS) of standing up for yourself, having boundaries, and refusing to sit through bullshit will serve as an amazing filter for trash men. You don't want to associate yourself with any man who does not align himself with FDS values. Be it a boyfriend, a date, a friend, or a colleague. How these men treat women in general will reflect in how they treat you - even when you are not dating. You will lose quite a bunch of LV friends around you because of FDS, but it's for the best!
  • Whenever you catch yourself wondering if you are gaslit, think about whether you would allow this behavior to happen to a friend, sister, or daughter. Hell no.
  • Don't tell me not to kink shame. I will shame the shit out of it the moment it crosses my boundaries. Personal/sexual thoughts are meant to be kept private. It is just not appropriate to make anyone around you listen to them, in the form of jokes or whatever format. Especially worse when that's not your partner.
  • Don't tolerate when someone pulls the "everyone is different" card to justify their unacceptable behavior - just like the "not all men" bullshit.

Have you cut off a similar LVM or LVW from your life? How did that go?