~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
intergalacticanon44
[–]riverofdenaliFDS Newbie 54 points55 points56 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This tweet is so relevant. I used to talk about having kids so casually until I really sat down and evaluated the pros and cons of having them. I looked at my own parents who had kids out of obligation and I realized I never wanted to repeat that cycle. I can’t ethically or morally justify having children. I enjoy my freedom, my time, my money, and my sanity.
[–]camille_sanFDS Newbie 175 points176 points177 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
I have almost always known that I didn’t want kids. During my younger, dumber, more reckless years I did become pregnant once and was planning to keep the child, until the father started showing his true colors. He started being extremely controlling, telling me what to eat, who I could and could not see, who “his child” would and wouldn’t be allowed around, etc, all while never going to an appointment with me or helping me pay for anything. I suddenly saw my future and when I got to the point that I was visualizing my own self-inflicted death I swiftly got an abortion. The man was beside himself with anger and called me every name in the book. I never regretted my decision once. That experience is also why I’m so terrified of the possibility of the option of abortion being stripped away from us. I wholeheartedly believe that I wouldn’t still be here had I not gotten the procedure, that shit literally saved my life.
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 74 points75 points76 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
The man was beside himself with anger and called me every name in the book
He wanted to turn his future child as a tool to control you, it only gets worse.
He got angry because you taught him that he couldn't get away with it, like he thought.
Well done seeing the red flags so clearly!!!
[–]camille_sanFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
He actually offered to take me to the appointment but thankfully by that point I’d seen enough to know that if I got into a vehicle with him we wouldn’t end up at the clinic
[–]thehappiestelephantFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
if I got into a vehicle with him we wouldn’t end up at the clinic
Ah yes, when you've finally seen enough of your goodwill discarded to recognize - if you cooperate with him, you will not get what you want.
It's so counter intuitive that you really have to live it to believe it, because why would someone who loves you behave like that.
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think older women should take on the task of preparing young women for male depravity as early as possible.
[–]dak4f2FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Society teaches young people that our elders (even just 20 years older) are senile, not with the times, clueless, and don't 'get it'. So how does one learn wisdom passed down from those who have lived it? It's pretty wicked.
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Making it easier for women to have kids, if they want to have them, at the ideal age say 28 (similar for men) helps a lot with this. Grandmas are still in good shape to help with childcare while connecting at a deeper level and passing wisdom to them. Right now, a TON of grandparents of young kids in HCOL are actually senile just because their parents delayed having them way too long, it's not good quality of sperm and eggs wise either.
It also reduces the odds of kinder kids becoming orphans, I've been to too many funerals like those where the parents die in their 40s by virtue of living in Manhattan for 15 years, it's the capital of the elderly parents. Nothing unusual, just that it used to be that their kids were around 20 by then, a much better outlook.
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also, the type of energy he was going to give you wasn't going to be all about how to make things easier and better for you. Only HVM do that.
[–]IDontAgreeSorryFDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Congratulations on dodging a bullet, not everyone is that lucky!
[–]camille_sanFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I know and that’s so fucking sad. I feel like most pro life people would have rather had me actually take my own life than have an abortion
[–]LovedDemonsFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You saved that baby, crazy as it sounds. That kid would have been used against you. And learn so much societal damage that it can't be truly undone. They'd be a weapon for both parents to use against the other. And then you'd take your own life and then lead that child down a path of unanswered questions, only to be comforted by the man who caused your hypothetical death? You stopped that from happening when you aborted a pregnancy with this man. As tough as it sounds, you made the right call and damn anyone who says otherwise. You stopped a constantly churning circle I see often in today and not many people are brave enough to do that. Only suffering would have come from all this.
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sis, I had almost the exact same experience. I am 100% convinced that if I didn't have that abortion and kick him to the curb, he would have eventually killed me.
Abortion saved my life too.
Hugs to you. 💖
[–]camille_sanFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m so glad we both made it out 💕
[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie 100 points101 points102 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
As someone with zero maternal instinct, this is easy for me. And knowing how many men start cheating and jumping ship after the baby is born basically means I have no incentive at all to ever even consider having a baby. The thought seems so foreign to me, and I feel horrible for all the women who are abandoned by their LVM after going thru childbirth.
[–]Optimal_Grapefruit_5FDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not too long ago someone here posted a link to a study saying that a lot of guys start showing their true colors and being abusive around or after their partner's pregnancy because by then she can't leave so easily (if at all).
[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Makes me sick but it’s not even surprising.
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 248 points249 points250 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Motherhood can be a cult
Always remember you can be a mother without giving birth.
Take that divine mothering energy and channel it into plants, animals, relatives that are unwell, friends that need support, foster kids or adoption.
Love is free to give and is the most potent energy to heal and transform.
Nurture others and nurture yourself.
You can still express the divine mother in your everyday life.
Edit:Just don't mother scrotes i beg you
[–]misspellmyname99FDS Newbie 79 points80 points81 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I saw a really great video on Tik Tok about a woman who is child free and when asked “don’t you want to raise children” (rude,but for another convo) she said “I like being a part of the village”- she adore her nieces and nephews, helps her friends with their kids, volunteers to work with children etc.
It truly takes a village and I’m happy to be a part of the village with the freedom of being child free!
[–]catspajatsFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Absolutely. I’m child free, but I have two pregnant friends right now. I’m surprised by my own excitement to meet the little babes because I generally don’t like children. Looking forward to being the cool “aunt” and teaching them life hacks.
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love that "being part of the village"
[–]IDontAgreeSorryFDS Newbie 57 points58 points59 points 3 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
True that. The spirit of love and compassion can be channelled by any living being.
Pupperinos channel it all the time. They operate on a high frequency of joy 24/7. This is why pupperinos are the best.
[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so beautiful, thanks for sharing 💕
[–]pitifulparsnipFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I love this! People always say you don't know true love until you've have children, but I disagree. Everyone is capable of giving true love to their friends, family, etc.
It's just really difficult to love someone unconditionally, but it's not impossible and you definitely don't need kids to be able to do it!
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm glad it resonated : )
[–]BetterDeparture436FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Sorry for commenting then deleting... I think I'm writing too much here. I really liked your post very much! :) (I get on commenting sprees that get out ahead of me :D !!
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hey no worries! Write away! FDS is a safe place to share your stream of consciousness so don't apologise for that. Let it rip!
Thanks for the lovely words about my post x
[–]BetterDeparture436FDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aww thanks so much!! I just feel like a blabber writer sometimes...blah blah (lol) I really appreciate that! :)
[–]tactical_viperFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
CF for life!!! Glad to see so many fellow FDSers are also CF. There’s enough children in the world and at least CF women won’t ever be susceptible to being locked in to a shit relationship. I’ll never be in a relationship again or have sex with anyone, but to the women that will, I highly suggest getting a bi salp so that no one can sabotage your birth control.
[–]LadylikeElectriclandFDS Newbie 38 points39 points40 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Male fertility is plummetting so this may be yet another choice snatched right out of our hands...
[–]anonymousgirl99FDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It really should be an "opt-in" to having children, vs an "opt-out" situation
[–]PizzaNo7741FDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like this because it’s about critical thinking and analysis of what we have been conditioned into being for others.
[–]Optimal_Grapefruit_5FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Motherhood can be a wonderful thing, but I don't like how it's pushed as an expectation of subservience that ties you to a man - and at the same time the only true fulfilment a woman's supposed to have or wish for. Fatherhood is not pushed the same way, it's seen as a bonus; if it happens, great - if it doesn't you're still a man and your own person.
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 82 points83 points84 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mhm but not just for petsonal reasons, REMIND the world we have the power to keep this species going. Thats our right, and as female beings its actually in our nature to be selective or deny.
[–]dr_mcstuffinsFDS Newbie 28 points29 points30 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bilateral salpingectomy = 0.00001% chance of pregnancy. It blew my mind just how much this procedure reduced my overall day to day anxiety. Pregnancy anxiety is an existential issue, and I didn’t know how heavy a burden I was carrying until it was eliminated in one fell swoop. I’m a new woman. My sexual pleasure is also higher since the intrusive thoughts about accidental pregnancy are totally gone. My body is 100% for my pleasure. I don’t randomly think of breastfeeding when my girls are getting attention now - they are for me and me alone. Orgasm is easier due to the immensely reduced anxiety (plus it really does get easier with age).
[–]PapaverinumFDS Apprentice 68 points69 points70 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
CF for life 😇🏆
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 51 points52 points53 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Helps you be shocked by men who want mothering too.
[–]searchingforjupiterFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
so nice to see fellow childfree women <3
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
It definitely should be an option and alternative, not the necessity. I wish the next generation of young women would have enough examples of CF ladies who are doing great in their lives. I also hope the stereotype of lonely crazy cat lady would die out finally. My mom always pitied single and childless women, so I was growing up being scared that if I don't have kids, everyone's gonna pity me and point fingers at me.
It shouldn't be the end of the world and a huge disaster if women, for whatever reason, don't have kids. Sometimes I think that the biological clock's ticking is nothing else but the reminder of the society's expectations.
[–]ChocolateBiscuit96FDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I don’t ever want kids. I couldn’t imagine being responsible for another human being lol. And I value time, sleep and money!
[–]sequinpigFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My joke is that I’m my own baby and Baby needs shoes. And student loans, etc.
[–]IDontAgreeSorryFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same girl! Fuck that “women are supposed to be selfless nurturing martyrs who give themselves up to care for someone else” archetype! I’m not with it.
[–]Thestral-glow6FDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
CF and proud! 🤍
[–]namharsFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Same (:
[–]PizzaNo7741FDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luciesssssFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think deep introspection is necessary before any life changing decision. But introspection on this matter doesn’t mean you need to come to the conclusion that you should be childfree. It’s ok if after the deeply reflecting on what you want you still want to be a mother/have children. It’s also ok to acknowledge the role the patriarchy may play in that decision.
[–]TeamWaddlesFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I literally always thought of this: how is being a mother a choice when we are ostracized if we don’t “chose” it? If I suddenly loose all of my value because of it?
If I have to be so damn pressured into something, anything, it raises huge concerns, and motherhood is no different.
[–]katiekat0214FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm 53, 10+ years post-menopausal. Knew from single digits I very much wanted to be married and have a happy marriage, and also knew I never wanted kids. I was married twice, 25 years, second time happy for 17 years. I was not at all socialized this way. My parents never pushed dolls on me, and were chilled out (after older sister and brother) and just let me be me: tomboyish, outdoorsy, and they recognized I loved stuffed animals, but plastic dolls? ew. Helps that I grew up INTJ, the kind of woman most likely to be childfree. That deep introspection comes naturally. I'm very grateful I had the privilege of deciding for myself what kind of life I wanted. The violence came in holding space for myself, my wants, my boundaries, against society. Fifty three, no regrets.
[–]laffytaggyFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 3 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link
I hear this and it’s something I am reflecting on. But do any of you ladies feel a strong biological desire for children? I think it is so ingrained in me, esp in my 30s, that it’s hard to think clearly on it. Does anyone feel that deep down urge to nest and have a baby?
[–]ZayelleFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I really thought about this when I was in my early 20s. I don't have an "urge" meaning that I could live a happy life without having children, but I truly desire 1-2 (depending on how awful pregnancy is). I've always loved children, taking care of them, teaching them stuffs (I was a martial art teacher when I was a teen). I had great parents and I would love to live on the other end of this relationship. Also, I have 0 pressure from my fiancé or my parents, who all support my decision on the matter.
[–]flower_vulvaFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! I would love to be a mother after I've become more stable in my career 😊
[–]Ok-Appearance5982FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yes I do. If I meet a great man and we get married then absolutely. I’m also considering the option of getting a sperm donor /ivf if ever I don’t meet the right man. Having a child grow up in a healthy and secure environment is very important for me.
[–]laffytaggyFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I am considering sperm donor route in 2 years. People think I’m crazy but I don’t want to “wait for a man” for eternity.
[–]OnlyPaperListensFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never, not once. I've often wondered if it's a chemical difference in my brain.
[–]OnlyPaperListensFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The WHO statement about drinking was a jolt of reality to younger CFers. We really are just meat incubators to those in power.
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh, I remember that. Absolutely abhorrent and disgusting.
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also CF for life!!!
[–]Amazing_Wolverine_37FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It was always incredibly important to me to get a grad degree before having kids. Now I understand even more so why. When my less than valuable ex wigged out I could walk away pretty cleanly. Unfortunately not only are we trained to be mothers in waiting but we are expected to mother others well before we hit puberty. A lot of my current thoughts are around wanting more (with less rose tint to my glasses this time).
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also consider being man-free. There not enough HVM for every woman, and many of us can be sometimes even happier with the freedom and flexibility that come from being single.
[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I refuse to bring a child into a world that they won't be loved by equally high value parents, and have a very solid, and respectful relationship.
More so though, I have an extreme fear of vomit (emetophobia) and absolutely refuse to have children until they make a vaccine for stomach bugs lmao, dirty little things 😂
© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]riverofdenaliFDS Newbie 54 points55 points56 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]camille_sanFDS Newbie 175 points176 points177 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 74 points75 points76 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]camille_sanFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]thehappiestelephantFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]dak4f2FDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IDontAgreeSorryFDS Newbie 40 points41 points42 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]camille_sanFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LovedDemonsFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]camille_sanFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie 100 points101 points102 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Optimal_Grapefruit_5FDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 248 points249 points250 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]misspellmyname99FDS Newbie 79 points80 points81 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]catspajatsFDS Newbie 22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IDontAgreeSorryFDS Newbie 57 points58 points59 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lessadessaFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pitifulparsnipFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BetterDeparture436FDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HereForTheFreeFoodOkFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BetterDeparture436FDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tactical_viperFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LadylikeElectriclandFDS Newbie 38 points39 points40 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]anonymousgirl99FDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PizzaNo7741FDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Optimal_Grapefruit_5FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sleepykittnFDS Newbie 82 points83 points84 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dr_mcstuffinsFDS Newbie 28 points29 points30 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PapaverinumFDS Apprentice 68 points69 points70 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 51 points52 points53 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]searchingforjupiterFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thinktwiceorelseFDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]ChocolateBiscuit96FDS Newbie 31 points32 points33 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]sequinpigFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IDontAgreeSorryFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Thestral-glow6FDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]namharsFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PizzaNo7741FDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luciesssssFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TeamWaddlesFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]katiekat0214FDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]laffytaggyFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]ZayelleFDS Newbie 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]flower_vulvaFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ok-Appearance5982FDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]laffytaggyFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]OnlyPaperListensFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]OnlyPaperListensFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PinturaMagnificaFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ENFP_CanadianFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Amazing_Wolverine_37FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]4BigDataFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Reporter_ComplexFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link