I left some of this in a comment but I feel like it deserves its own post:
I have a rule for myself: for every date I go on (whether I’m in a relationship or not) I make sure to go on a “girl date”. This can be coffee with my best friend, Zumba night with a girl I want to be better friends with, mani pedis with my mom, as long as I’m planning social time with other women and following through, it counts. I also count time spent with a group as long as it’s only other women.
Why this is important to me:
I never feel like I have to go on dates with men in order to go out and have fun. My girlfriends and I do it all the time.
You know that girl who’s a great friend, but every time she gets a new boyfriend she disappears for two months until they break up? Yeah, don’t be her.
It makes guys I date better understand that I choose to spend time with them, and my time is worthwhile. If you’re always available, he’s going to feel entitled to your time. “Saturday doesn’t work for me, I’m going Ice skating with my sister” and not only does he know that you’re an interesting person with a life, but he also knows he needs to work to get on your calendar.
It keeps my life fun, I’m willing to try more new things with women because I feel more comfortable, especially things like new exercise classes. (Zumba night with the girls is now part of my routine and I never would’ve gone on my own)
Spending time with women is grounding. It lets me be myself entirely without having my guard up. My friends appreciate me for who I am and encourage me to be better. That hasn’t been my experience with most men, including my male friends.
A few years ago, my life wouldn’t have passed the Bechdel test, I only had male friends, and when I did talk to other women they were always part of a friend group that was mostly male. I was not happy, I was not a HVW.
I know it can be hard to make female friends out of college, and to be honest I can’t really help, I’m 21 so I have limited life experience, and any advice I could give would be shallow, sorry. Maybe some wiser queens on here can leave advice on that in the comments.