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Her man of 6 years faked a proposal. I’d leave in a heartbeat.

December 26, 2020

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Post Information
Title Her man of 6 years faked a proposal. I’d leave in a heartbeat.
Author kittycakes22
Upvotes 930
Comments 67
Date December 26, 2020 9:26 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/her-man-of-6-years-faked-a-proposal-id-leave-in-a.341298
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kkqaw3/her_man_of_6_years_faked_a_proposal_id_leave_in_a/

[–]SarcasmSlideFDS Disciple660 points661 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

He’s mocking her. He’s showing his contempt for her under the guise of “humor.” He knows exactly what he’s doing and he knows she won’t leave.

[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie382 points383 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

This really made me think. My bf (soon to be ex, I don’t want to move twice) has shown contempt for me under the veil of jokes too. Whether it’s taking his friends side of a “joke” I don’t find funny, or just not doing something reasonable I ask.

Since I have made hints at leaving, he is VERY attentive (too late bro, maybe you’ll find it hilarious), and is always talking about our future. Christmas was taken up a notch too.

He could have been a HVM, he has all the makings of one, but falls short. No commitment further than a bf, and I will not play the role of a forever gf anymore.

Sorry, I’m a little scattered. So much information in a very short period of time! So glad to have found FDS!

[–]PahapanFDS Disciple168 points169 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Since I have made hints at leaving, he is VERY attentive (too late bro, maybe you’ll find it hilarious), and is always talking about our future. Christmas was taken up a notch too.

This is the beginning of a cycle he'll try to trap you in. He'll be contemptuous and lowkey emotionally abusive and when you object to it he'll be on better behavior for a bit, only to resume being cruel. This sort of shit traps so many women because it wreaks havoc on the psyche.

It's great that you've seen through it and are already working on an exit strategy. I so want a future for all women in which none of us are falling prey to this manipulative bullshit anymore.

[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie89 points90 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

A future where women see through the bullshit men try to trap us in is a dream.

I’ll admit, I got a little fuzzy and idealistic yesterday. Everything was a high. My bf was being complimentary, he had his kids get me gifts and they were being so cuddly and lovely. I truly love them. It tears me apart to leave. But the day to day is so exhausting and everything I do is taken for granted. I must go.

[–]saggy_lemons1FDS Newbie76 points77 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Girl he has kids?!? Yeah, no 😅. Dump him.

[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]Express_Chocolate_60FDS Newbie36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hey, the more women wake up the BETTER.

[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie97 points98 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I hope you at least got a nice Christmas gift for your time.

[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie112 points113 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Actually, I did. My first Christmas gift I didn’t pick in 4 Christmas’, an iPad mini. It’s for my job. I did feel that that was very thoughtful. I also felt, “about time”. Not for the price of the thing, but for the lack of effort the past 3 christmases.

[–]galvanicreactionFDS Newbie26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Boy, that, "about time," feeling resonates from past relationships. You appreciate the gift but when it takes them too long to step up, it steals the charm of the gift.

[–]perkypancakesFDS Newbie32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When you are ready don’t announce your departure, just go. If you announce that you are leaving it will give him an opportunity to give you hope and try to convince you to stay. Do not fall for the bait. He’s shown you what you mean to him with his past actions. I wasted too many years on an ex who did this.

[–]flowers4uFDS Newbie52 points53 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You got this! We are only given a certain amount of time

[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie47 points48 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you! After all my time with my BF I am done. I have no more to give.

[–]flowers4uFDS Newbie21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]skyerippaFDS Newbie46 points47 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

In situations like this think what would motivate you to act this way if it were you. It sounds kinda simple and obvious but it changed the way I view things.

The only reason I can think of of why I would do this to someone im supposed to love is because 1. I actually have alot of contempt and resent them and want to hurt them or 2. Im literally just a fucking moron with no self awareness at all. Either way I don't want to be with either of those people

[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie51 points52 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Add on: “I like what this person does for me”and it’s a complete list! I am pretty sure that’s what is motivating my soon-to-be ex.

I make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for him and his boys most days, plus the other things that run a household, while running my own business.

It started as: I love these guys so much I want to do everything I can for them. Now I feel: I have done so much for these guys and I love them so much why am I not receiving anything in return?

And I now know why. FDS has saved my sanity.

[–]SonofabiscochitoFDS Newbie18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Both of these comments are so powerful and heartbreaking. Thank you for the insight.

[–]Fun_Tangerine4494FDS Newbie6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for the award!

[–]-pop-fizz-clinkFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read up on the subject of trauma bonding.

[–]bpoloanaFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

He is making you be the mama to his kids and won't even marry you???? Oh my God. Time to leave

[–]PahapanFDS Disciple294 points295 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You can hear her start to say, "I knew it." She knows deep down that he's never going to propose (and if he ever does it's going to be because he's finally decided he'll settle since his dream woman hasn't stumbled into his life yet and he's 38). Women need to stop wasting away in these dead-end relationships, especially if they want kids.

[–]IDontAgreeSorryFDS Newbie75 points76 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Even if they don’t want kids 😅

[–]PahapanFDS Disciple104 points105 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The life of a childfree woman isn't less valuable and she shouldn't waste away in a dead-end relationship either. But if you're a woman for whom having biological children is a life goal then you really, really don't want to miss your window of opportunity waiting on some LVM to decide if he actually wants you or not. You can psychologically heal from being with a LVM, you can invest in yourself and level up in the aftermath of freeing yourself from him, but one thing you can't do is get back your fertility.

[–]IDontAgreeSorryFDS Newbie14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]souredskittlesFDS Apprentice23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s pretty sad. I feel like deep down, we always know, even pickmes. Especially pickmes since they are actively convincing themselves they should do more to change his mind

[–]Dorkamus_RexFDS Newbie392 points393 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Him: "Lifetime commitment to you is such a joke, I'm going to fake my seriousness about it!"


[–]TexiMcCraeFDS Newbie115 points116 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

😕 Why the fuck would someone think that’s funny? I bet if a woman said yes and then threw the ring and said psych! People would hang her

[–]dollymyfollyFDS Newbie200 points201 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Poor thing, she’s crying. Is that fun for him?

[–]Sherbert-TrickFDS Newbie296 points297 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

It’s the satin pants for meeeeeee 💅🏻


[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know!!! I thought those were amazing!

[–]TheSuspiciousChardFDS Apprentice167 points168 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Grab the dog on your way out tho 🤷🏼‍♀️

[–]redpandanation_FDS Newbie33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]TelephoniaThrowaway Account72 points73 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ew he’s too ugly to be playing games like that.

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple35 points36 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The audacity is palatable.

[–]k_sugarplumFDS Newbie128 points129 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Omg, that's so humiliating and disrepectful! I hope she dumped his sorry ass.

[–]skyerippaFDS Newbie62 points63 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

And he video taped it and put it on tiktok....

[–]intergalacticanon44FDS Newbie171 points172 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The sound of the suitcase 😭

[–]HolyIsTheLordFDS Apprentice6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It just kept going and going.

I loved it. 🤣

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

By the time he pulled this "joke" he's already played it out in his head. He's knows she's going to be heartbroken and furious, naturally, and he's rehearsed responding with "babe, it's just a joke, why are you crying, geez, you're making me feel really bad, fine I'll never try to make you laugh again, I really don't deserve this"

[–]GettingOffTheCrazyFDS Newbie76 points77 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This makes me so sad and so mad. This is why you need to leave after two years tops - if you actually want to marry him. If he mocks you, disrespects you, devalues you - in any way. LEAVE. It will not get better. In fact it will get worse. Trust me - I know.

[–]just-peepin-at-uFDS Newbie39 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hate that dough boy look he has. That perma layer of baby fat that covers the angles of his face and makes him look like a kid.

[–]IAteTheDragonFDS Newbie34 points35 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's so humiliating. What a f#cking sadist.

[–]Confection_EfficientFDS Newbie27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s just cruel.

[–]ChocolateBiscuit96FDS Newbie53 points54 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If I am dating a guy and I’m not proposed to by the 2 year mark, I gotta go. There’s no excuse and a diamond ring from Zales won’t break the bank. Men will waste time with you as long as you let them

[–]BBQCoolRanchQueenFDS Apprentice30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't give it a second thought. That's psychologically abusive. They know we want commitment and marriage. That'd be one joke he would regret for the rest of his life.

[–]redpandanation_FDS Newbie27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely goodbye.

[–]Wildestrose1988FDS Newbie27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would RIOT

[–]purziveplaxyFDS Newbie24 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I wonder what her actual reaction was? Anything less than that..

[–]kittycakes22FDS Newbie[S] 38 points39 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

She just laughed at his joke and said “I knew it”.

[–]purziveplaxyFDS Newbie24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


[–]Carrot_LightThrowaway Account24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

6 years? that’s not her boyfriend that’s her roommate.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The sad thing is that he knows that she wants to marry him & chose to mock her😔

[–]Peak_TreeFDS Newbie8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I would like to vet longer than some women here so 2.5-years, but I certainly would not let the 3 year come and still be in that relationship.

[–]kittycakes22FDS Newbie[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I agree. A year isn’t enough to truly know someone.

[–]perkypancakesFDS Newbie10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This makes me so angry for her because I’ve been there.

[–]QuickJellyfish2FDS Newbie81 points82 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I got engaged this year, and a staff member saw it happen at the place he did it, and she came and talked with us and took a picture for us! She asked how long we’d been together, around 2/3 years we said, she then told us she’d been with her partner for 14 years. No ring. Girl that sounds like a you problem not a me problem, I got mine 😅

[–]miphasgracefulFDS Newbie44 points45 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy shit. Send her here! 😱

[–]riseaboveagainFDS Apprentice20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why is she wearing a leopard print top in the first scene, then black in the next one? Confused.

[–]Mind-ObjectiveFDS Newbie59 points60 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Different people

[–]HennyyenniFDS Apprentice9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The 2nd lady is implying that if she got fake proposed to like the First Lady she would take her shit and bounce.

[–]Royal-ProgressAt-Risk Pick Me Youth4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


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