How difficult is to get a divorce in the USA?

2020-01-04T17:30:44+00:00

It varies from state to state. My divorce was one of the nicer ones. My attorney fees were only $2500 because my ex and I decided everything ourselves. We split assets, figured out custody, and child support is just a formula based on the noncustodial parent's income. In my state, divorce takes 60 days from filing to appearing in court. We both appeared on the 60th day, my attorney asked some questions, the judge thanked us for being civil, and it was over within 10 minutes.

If either one of us had not been so willingly to work with the other, it could have been much more difficult. I just wanted out, so the only thing I asked for was primary custody of my son. He was more than willing to grant that. He kept 90% of the shared material possessions, but I couldn't care less. I got my child and I got my mental health back. Both priceless.

I know people that have had it drag on for years. It can be really expensive and they are in and out of court. Sounds like a nightmare.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-01-04T18:07:49+00:00

I made my divorce simple, but since we had a kid we had to have an agreement written out. I did all the paperwork myself and then paid a lawyer to handle the rest. It cost $1000 and took a couple months. We never had to appear in court, but we had to visit a notary a couple times and send paperwork back and forth. It's definitely a process. And child support is the right of the child, not the parent. So some kind of child support has to be hashed out or the courts will automatically choose one party to pay it. Here I think you combine both incomes and the most available parent is owed a percentage of that every month from the least available or least fit parent. It was going to be about $800/mo for one of us, so I chose 50/50 split everything and the judge agreed to it. My child had only ever known me and I had the most versatile hours, so I probably would've won, BUT my ex worked full time AND got disability, so he could've quit his job to be available more and then I might would've had to pay. Scared me to death plus both our parents always fought over child support, so we went the 50/50 route.

Every state varies, but often you have to be separated for 6 months to a year to even be eligible. Unless you just married and want an annulment immediately after. My girlfriend did all of her own paperwork for a divorce here and it only cost her $350 and going back and forth to the courthouse a couple times. I helped her write out the agreement since I had experience. The courts often have free help and she used that too.

Divorce is only ever simple and relatively low cost if both parties are in agreement. If one wants to fight it, it can drag on for years and costs thousands.

Dismal-Cranberry · 2020-01-04T18:39:02+00:00

[deleted]

suaveagave · 2020-01-04T19:46:13+00:00

I’m sure it varies by state. I live in CA and you can get a summary dissolution if you’ve been married less than five years, have no kids together, and no joint assets. And it just includes filing some paperwork (don’t even need it notarized) and paying a fee (no court date, divorce decree mailed to you in six months).

penelopekitty · 2020-01-04T18:23:02+00:00

It depends on the state. Where I live, for a no fault divorce, after initial filing the parties must live in separate residences for one year before a court date is granted. If they spend even one night under the same roof the clock starts over. The court date is usually a few months past the one year mark. If you sue for divorce on grounds of adultery or abuse you can be granted a divorce more quickly but you have to go to court to prove your case.

Throwaway0220170 · 2020-01-05T07:06:35+00:00

I'm European, my parents divorced when 'express divorce' was still an option, but because they didn't agree about custody it took 7 years. It always takes more effort when you cannot agree with each other. (was a bit of a weird situation, which is why it took extra long)

Unable_Caterpillar · 2020-01-04T18:12:07+00:00

Do you have Netflix? Watch Marriage Story. It’s a pretty accurate depiction.

Things can be pretty easy (on the legal front). My mom and dad didn’t use lawyers. My mom had a trump card on my dad though—he’s a super LVM and she threatened to reveal to his parents all the crap he pulled, so he fell in line. If either partner is vindictive it can go terrible easily.

Dismal-Cranberry · 2020-01-04T19:37:20+00:00

It depends on the state. I live in SC now because my husband got a job here. I decided to leave him recently. Because there is no physical abuse or cheating, we have to be living separately (not just different rooms in the same house) for a full year before we can file. If you cannot come to an agreement on who gets what after the divorce, it can take even longer because of lawyers and court. So, some people just stay thinking that maybe they will be better in a year. I know it won't. So, I'm paying for an apartment I cannot afford since I have no job. If we were divorced, he would be paying alimony and I would be fine. I will be getting my degree in less than a year and a half and will likely be making more than him by then. Hopefully, he doesn't become angry with me for leaving by the time we can divorce.