Hi ladies, I’ve been uplifted and empowered just by lurking on the subreddit, so I’ve finally decided to take the plunge and become a member! So of course, I read the handbook. While I resonate with so much of the content in it, there is one tenet that I’m having trouble believing for myself. As you may have guessed, it’s the idea that I’m a desirable woman with a lot of options.

So perhaps a bit of background is helpful. In my early 20’s, I got a lot of attention. However, it was all from scrotes taking advantage of a young girl with no self-esteem and a desperate need for validation. I still told myself this was ok, because at least there were people interested in me at all. Then in my mid-20’s, I got an autoimmune condition and the attention suddenly stopped. Not that the condition was immediately apparent. It was more like my misery at the time was so blatantly obvious that it was clear I was not in the head space for dating. I also gained weight from the steroids I was taking and didn’t care about my appearance.

Now I am in my 30’s. I am slowly recovering. I’ve lost the weight and can wear dresses I couldn’t fit into in my early 20’s. I am also dressing up and putting on make-up again. I even gasp think I look good. But the attention hasn’t returned. I go online dating and it seems that the only people who message me are unattractive LVM who put no effort into reading my profile. I’ve tried messaging people I find interesting, but while they like me back, they either don’t respond or let the conversation fizzle out after a while. I don’t want to beg for breadcrumbs, so I unmatch pretty quickly. But how do I not feel like part of this isn’t just me not being a woman who merits a second glance?

I’ve heard from more than one source that men find me intimidating. A friend of mine told me her friend was scared off by the big words I used in my profile. I don’t know if I should be flattered or depressed. How would FDS approach this situation? Does every woman have queen energy or do some of us have to do without? Would love to hear your thoughts on this matter.