How Many of you Leveled Up and left your LVM/NVM last year?

souredskittles · 2021-01-06T02:12:12+00:00

Me me me me! 👋 Couldn’t deal another moment with him so I got on that kickhimout2020 train with y’all early last year.

It’s not too late, ##HeAintTheOne2021 train is here.

Found new hobbies, not to mention I can sleep LIKE A BABY every night.

MistyFiords · 2021-01-06T02:49:18+00:00

Today marks one year to the day that I went no contact with an emotionally abusive, narc LVM. I remember because it’s my HV parent’s wedding anniversary. I saw them at 35 years of HV marriage and I knew I wasn’t in a relationship like that.

In the past year: I moved back home to be closer to family and friends (after he isolated me across the country). I started a masters program (that he told me I was too dumb to get in to). I got a job in my field to gain experience. I went to therapy. I lost the weight I had put on while dating him.

I have become more confident in myself than before I met him. And I continue to get better.

Ladies, I spent MONTHS before ending things with him reading every post on this subreddit hoping to find the courage to leave him. Hoping something would click for me. I knew it was bad but I didn’t know what to do. It took time, lots of little steps, but you can do it too. If you are considering leaving someone you know is not good for you or good to you: THIS IS YOUR SIGN. LEAVE HIM. You will be better off.

I thought I wouldn’t be happy after I left him, I wasn’t happy for a while, but it got better and it keeps getting better, so much better ✨💖⚡️

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-01-06T01:51:51+00:00

Well 2020 was good.

I cleaned the ever living shit outta my house. It was long overdue.

I upgraded almost every corner of the house I could afford to.

I got even more fit!!

I volunteered a ton.

I stopped baking!! And got my quarantine cooking under control.

I got my Amazon spending under control.

I sold a lot of stuff I don't need anymore.

I read some books... not as many as I wanted to.

I learned that I don't really mind quarantine.

pennypennypen · 2021-01-06T02:15:05+00:00

Last year was the ultimate pick me year of my life. But I did Level Up so much this year!! I also leave all those LVM/NVMs in my life!

I finalized my divorce with ex husband in January. Went on an OLD period where I’m this super pickmeisha that got lovebombing from a guy whom I never met to the point of crying on my birthday over anxiety.

Settled with less in an exclusive situationship with a guy who couldn’t properly brush his teeth (And this guy even still swiping around in OLD town when I told him specifically that I don’t do two-timing and expect him to do the same, which he agreed at that time. Blocked him right there when I found out)

Had the worst date of my life with a gaslighting narc that boasted his work achievement (Nah, I’m not impressed) but still manages to criticize my weight (I am far from overweight, mind you)

I was always under the impression that I have no value when I’m divorced. I’m ashamed, plus, i don’t know why my divorce trial information is out there in Google Search so whenever someone looked up my name, they could see my divorce details and it made me super anxious. But I managed to overcome those all in 2020.

My level up is realizing that I need to know myself more, what I want, doing things that I want to do, setting up ground rules, and self love. Turns out I was lacking all of those.

Then I stumbled upon FDS... and this sub really shaped me, A LOT. I think highly of myself now because why wouldn’t I? Back then even when I was married, literally more than 10 guys in my work place approached me and some even asked me out on a date. I am striving in my career. My income is increasing and I worked in a company that people are dying to get the job there. I’m doing exercise now, I run twice a week. I paint. I read books. I never stopped learning. I managed to move to an apartment and adopt a kitten that I can spill my devotion and attention and money without feeling guilty because I know that she loves me 🤣 My life is complete, and ready to level up higher than now in 2021. I stopped using OLD because why would I showcase myself in an LVM nest? I’m proud that I haven’t had sex for almost a year and will wait until I have a commitment with an HVM that will match me and my energy. And this level up is not only applied to a relationship. I cut off some toxic friend and are no longer seeking validation in any kind of form. I’m just going to do what I want and will always try to improve myself in every aspects.

I couldn’t thank you ladies enough for all the comments, the posts, links and handbook that made me who I am now. A lot cooler version of myself is definitely exist. We’re the Queen✨❤️

Breesasha · 2021-01-06T02:05:39+00:00

I did last year! Cut him off after years of on/off.

I moved to a new apartment.. Got a new bedroom and living room set Landed my dream job Reached my goal of having an emergency fund Invested in some at-home workout equipment

Splatzy19 · 2021-01-06T04:33:54+00:00

🖐️ Yep. Ditched a nvm husband, got my own place, slayed first year in new career, lost 18 kilos. Can't wait to keep leveling up in 2021 with the extra time and energy I've gained from dropping someone who was only looking out for themselves at the expense of my youth, my health and my money.

overit_af · 2021-01-06T05:42:57+00:00

Me! Left my LV husband in August 2020 and am shining like never before both in and out. Seriously reborn. I’m a single mom now and so much better for it! I’m super fit, my hair is shining, my mind is clear, my performance at my job is soaring and I’m good being alone because it’s so much less responsibility than being with someone who disrespected my home, my worth and my time. Realized that I had been making most of my decisions based on LVM for the past 20 years. Never again. So grateful for this sub. Ugh.

Icchy24 · 2021-01-06T04:47:06+00:00

Yeepppp 👌👌. It was only a 7 month relationship but I'm glad I left when I did

sahu_ · 2021-01-06T06:29:09+00:00

Me! It'll be his birthday tomorrow, and I have been free of his whining ass for two years!! And he tried to get me back in September but I left that trash hanging. I have also blocked and deleted many male friends whose intentions were questionable. Further I have stopped checking on my exes in social media, unfollowed and blocked. Not to mention the many many many OLD matches successfully kicked the curb when they failed vetting.

Done and dusted. It has been a year of deep cleaning haha.

VulcanSpaceSquirrel · 2021-01-06T16:19:07+00:00

Meeeee

A little over a year since kicking out my lvm ex. The last straw was when he argued against spending time with me on my dead sisters bday.

I am happier, healthier, and my life feels bright again

BabyBlankieieieieie · 2021-01-06T06:54:58+00:00

🙋🏼‍♀️

justforfds · 2021-01-06T15:06:34+00:00

I'm proud of my wonderful friend who finally cut off her deeply NVM at the end of 2020. 7 years of using, abusing and humiliating her, manipulating or browbeating her into tolerating it.

He's lurking, as they do, but he has gone several steps too far, affecting her career, her child and her parents. Too far.

She is buying a house on her own this year and already has plans set up to level up in all areas.

2021-01-06T07:35:52+00:00

Me me me🙋‍♀️

So, it happened in November. It was late, I was in bed watching America's Next Top Model. It's was a lovely evening and I was enjoying my own company. Then out of nowhere I receive a message from my LVM ex/fwb if I'm up. I didn't reply, he drains my energy, so I just continue watching my show. Then 10 mins later he texts again saying that I've hurt him by sending him a meme about friendzone. He starts acting like a teenage girl, trying to cause drama at midnight!!

I was having such a lovely night, I didn't want him to ruin it. I didn't wanted to get sucked into his drama so I texted that I had a lovely evening and I want to enjoy it. (something more but I don't remember).

Next day he texted saying I should forget what happened last night and wished a nice day. I didn't reply. I spent entire day thinking, I can't go on like this, it needs to end. Best decision I've made in 2020.

hollypocketer · 2021-01-06T18:06:26+00:00

Still leveling up, its a alow process but im getting there. Left a decade long relationship after he became an alcoholic and we had a 3 month old. Realized how much of that relationship was absolutely fucked up as even looking back at him demanding to see what I was texting my friends, and threatening to break my phone was abusive. Having me try the drug molly for the first time by passing around a cup of juice, while we smoked a joint with our friends and not telling me what was in the juice until I asked why that weed felt so different and them all laughing at me because I had no idea I had been drugged.

I'm in therapy. I'm reading self help books and self confidence books. I'm learning to manage my ADD so that I can get back to school and do it right this time. I have deleted 500 pictures off of my phone of people who did me wrong and of my ex. Cleaned my whole house, and started adding new things to change it from the house my ex and I made, to my house that creates a cozy and comfortable space for me. I went through my Facebook friends and deleted people that did me wrong or made me uncomfortable. I am learning to be kind, but stay firm to my boundaries. I started meditation again. And the guy I like, who is into me keeps asking to call and I say no because I'm comfortable reading my books and while I don't mind talking to him, I enjoy the peace and quiet when my baby is asleep and thats my time to myself.

I have alot to work on. So much. But im getting there.

Title	How Many of you Leveled Up and left your LVM/NVM last year?
Author	sacchilax
Upvotes	85
Comments	19
Date	January 5, 2021 2:00 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kqnuf3/how_many_of_you_leveled_up_and_left_your_lvmnvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-many-of-you-leveled-up-and-left-your-lvmnvm.735461 https://theredarchive.com/post/735461