How to say Fuck Off nicely?

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-11-25T14:55:22+00:00

Cultivate a badass resting B face and wear earbuds. That’s what I do. If some fool tries talking to me like “excuse me! Miss! Can I ask you a question?” I just immediately put my hand up and say NOPE and keep walking. Oh and I also keep my head up and look them directly in the eyes. Cowing my head and keeping my eyes down has historically been like a creep magnet for me.

Obviously use your judgement and do what feels safe. Sometimes you get that gut feeling that simply ignoring and getting away is best, and sometimes you can be harsh. I do the above out in public, on the streets, backroads, parks and lakes. I might be friendlier if we are say, in line at a grocery store, depending on how the stranger comes across. And by “friendlier” I just mean that I won’t throw my hand up in their face and scowl at them. I’ll still be pretty standoffish and uninteresting.

ETA for anyone who might think being this way is “mean”. There’s simply very few good reasons why a stranger needs to talk to me out in public. The only ok situations I recall from my life are the time an elderly man asked me where something was in a store (and he didn’t say “can I ask you a question” he just came out and said “would you happen to know where x is?” I told him and he thanked me and left). Also a short woman asked me to grab something for her on a shelf because I’m tall. That’s it really. 99.999% of the time they are trying to sell you something, are being creepy, or want something from you. I’m not interested in any of that. You don’t need to be NICE to that. And while IME it’s been overwhelmingly men I’ve had to be harsh with, I’ve done it to women too.

One time a methed-out looking woman approached me in a city parking lot saying she just wanted to ask me something. But she tried to close the physical gap and get closer to me and that rang all my alarm bells. I told her to back off and threw my hand up (while backing away myself) and she continued to inch closer and talk at me. That was my cue to nope out, I got into my car and locked the door, staring her down from inside. She stopped and glared at me for a minute before finally walking away. If she had been a man it would have been even more concerning but either way, it was sketchy.

harp_unstrung · 2020-11-25T15:35:05+00:00

Don’t say fuck off with your words, neutrally exude it so that they think fucking off is the desirable course of action. Make them think it was their own idea. Use as few words as possible, don’t smile, turn your body away from them, start flossing your teeth if you must! Make them bored and disappointed that they approached you.

Just act generally unimpressed and uninterested.

Don’t say nice meeting you if it wasn’t nice meeting them. You owe the world nothing.

It’s not rude to not engage. It’s perfectly within your rights.

slythergin23 · 2020-11-25T14:47:16+00:00

well, you just have to be harsh. otherwise, they won't take your no for an answer and keep trying to talk you into it. personally, i've resorted to wearing a pretty ring on my finger and act like it's an engagement ring. it doesn't fight off all of them, but at least some.

eveninghope · 2020-11-25T15:08:48+00:00

I usually have my headphones in and when I'm out, I'm probably working at a café. So when a guy asks me a question EVEN WHEN I HAVE MY FUCKING HEADPHONES IN AND AM WORKING, I make a big fucking stink of having to take one of my headphones out. Like, I straight up do not acknowledge them at first. I'll even glance at them and make eye contact, then continue to ignore them. Because how fucking rude right? Then if they insist on getting my attention to ask me a question, I slowly pause my music, take out my ear bud, whatever and just stare, no smiling obv, nothing. Then they'll ask (do you have a boyfriend/do you have a phone number/whatever) and I answer the question (no), then I just replace my headphone and go back to work.

Sewud · 2020-11-25T14:50:47+00:00

Since the pandemic hit I just ignore them. With the mask they aren't privy to my facial expression and I don't look in their direction so I just look like I don't know they are talking to me.

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2020-11-25T17:07:36+00:00

I had a guy try to run me over after I said no to him. Another follow me for blocks downtown. And another grab me and wouldn't let go. Men can be unhinged. So when someone tries to talk to me I simply say nothing, until I get to a safe location.

lalalalaika · 2020-11-25T15:43:15+00:00

My go to in situations where men are crossing a line and asking questions they shouldn't be asking:

"That's private." 🙂

2020-11-25T18:21:15+00:00

I see the comments encouraging OP to just say fuck off, but I think she's implying that she's afraid for her safety here.

OP, this is kind of drastic, but you could adopt a big dog. A dog that loves water :) And train it to bark at someone on command. Nobody will be bothering you or following you home

iggypooop · 2020-11-25T15:00:42+00:00

Look up and down in silence and carry on with whatever you were doing before they interrupted you. They've invaded your space without permission, they don't deserve any kind of explanation.

dollymyfolly · 2020-11-25T15:02:58+00:00

You don’t have to be nice.

Ghost_namesake · 2020-11-25T17:21:54+00:00

[deleted]

2020-11-25T17:31:52+00:00

Unfortunately, it doesn't always matter what you say.

LV men think they can say and do whatever they want because they're bigger than us.

The only thing LV men understand is violence, but they know the vast majority of women aren't violent. And even if we were to use some type of weapon, they'll just use a weapon too. Basically, whatever women use to defend themselves, LV men will try to one-up us.

LV men are degenerates.

ThrowawayPhotoshop11 · 2020-11-25T18:08:43+00:00

Can someone tell me if I did the right thing? A man said he liked how my body looked in my outfit at the grocery store. I was scared of him and said thanks quietly and kept staring ahead and didn’t look at him. I only said thanks because one time I completely ignored a man and he started screaming at me to respond.

makafakafo · 2020-11-25T16:13:43+00:00

[deleted]

KateJ1982 · 2020-11-25T19:40:07+00:00

Walking up to a total stranger and asking them personal questions is so socially unacceptable, rude and entitled that it doesn't warrant a polite response. Only a man with no respect for women would do this. A cold approach "are you single" presumes that you owe them an answer and that if you're single, you're available for them to take. Neither is true.

They only do it because they think if they do it 100 times, maybe a few women will actually take them up on it and have sex with them. It's not a compliment.

A blank stare, or a "no thank you" is more than they even deserve. Ear buds and a RBF might help. Also consider that if this is happening often, you might not be walking in a safe place or perhaps you appear too vulnerable to walk alone in these places. Carry mace at a minimum!

2020-11-25T15:52:41+00:00

Direct eye contact and firm boundaries.

They aren't stupid, and they know what they're doing when they make you uncomfortable.

lival42 · 2020-11-25T17:00:20+00:00

'ok, nice meeting you, we're done here'.

Is not harsh.

hanjaporfavor · 2020-11-25T16:42:44+00:00

So I have like, no social anxiety and I get off on making men uncomfortable in public by acting like a weirdo like the girl in the link below haha https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSbwjdSg/

LevelTurbulent · 2020-11-25T19:31:23+00:00

I don’t know you. Leave me alone. Then a disgusted look.

Works for me. I know some women worry about a man getting violent with them if they do that but I carry a gun so if they want to attack me for turning them down, they’re going home dead.

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-11-25T23:21:07+00:00

You can shake your head and pretend not to speak English. Move away swiftly.

late4church_ · 2020-11-25T14:54:55+00:00

“Fuck off”

sstena · 2020-11-25T17:50:06+00:00

"I'm not interested in talking to you. Have a good day".

Repeat it word for word if he talks to you again. Do not engage, just repeat.

Do not interrupt him, nor look at him. When he stops talking repeat the sentence again.

If he insists you say "You are making me uncomfortable". Nothing else. Just repeat it if he talks to you again.

He will go away after a minute or 2. You aren't biting his hooks so he will be confused or lose interest and leave.

Have police on speed dial and do not hesitate to call them. This will show in your attitude, no need to mention or threaten. Do call them if you consider it necessary.

makafakafo · 2020-11-25T19:03:44+00:00

Once time i was pretending I am mute and cannot hear xD i learned two or 3 signs to show off.

LadyGrimes · 2020-11-25T19:28:41+00:00

Wear a fake wedding ring and just say you're married and you'd never cheat on your man.

textbasedpanda · 2020-11-25T19:59:16+00:00

Get engaged to yourself and buy yourself a big ass ring.

But seriously it's totally fine to be harsh. Don't worry about hurting their fee-fees a lil' bit. They'll get over it and move on to the next lady soon enough.

janatztxcxxx · 2020-11-26T00:57:01+00:00

I pretend that they are invisible. It really hurts their ego.

2020-11-25T18:44:38+00:00

smile “AAAAWWW THANKS!” face turns into a stoney evil glare “NO...”

ThrowawayKITTY777 · 2020-11-25T17:07:10+00:00

Skip the "nicely"... just say FUCK OFF!

You are NOT obligated to be nice.... especially if someone is ignoring the accepted social cues that lead up to a parting of ways.

There are so many ways to gently shut down an interaction without embarrassing yourself or the other person, yet still keep your boundaries firm.

"It was nice meeting you" "I have to go now" "No thanks" "I'm not available/I'm not interested"

If you say any ONE of the phrases like that and they ignore the polite social cues that you're shutting down your interaction with them the polite way, then go ahead and give them the "Fuck off!" .... men who don't have the manners to accept polite social cues deserve the not nice version.

Title	How to say Fuck Off nicely?
Author	azureangel35
Upvotes	172
Comments	66
Date	November 25, 2020 2:36 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k0t954/how_to_say_fuck_off_nicely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-say-fuck-off-nicely.331283 https://theredarchive.com/post/331283