I've been dating casually for the first time since my break-up with my narcissistic NVX in March. I can still struggle with Pickmeisha tendencies sometimes due to the PTSD caused by that relationship, but thanks to FDS (which was also the impetus for pushing me to break up with my NVX... this place literally saved my life), I get stronger and better every day. One issue I've noticed about LVM is how little they respect your time. I have two anecdotes for comparison.

One of my best friends is a HVM. He is openly asexual, so our friendship is real and true and not just because he wants to get into my pants. Currently, he lives on the other side of the US and so we schedule video calls with each other often. He never wastes mine (or anyone else's) time when we set up for a call. If anything comes up, he notifies me ASAP, and even then it's only a 5-10 minute delay that I knew about ahead of time. He respects me as a person, and thus respects my time. I should mention that I'm less than a year away from finishing my chemistry PhD, and I also keep myself busy with art, lifting, running, hiking, and spirituality, so my time is very important to me.

Lately, I've been talking to a guy (among several) who had some potential. Very cute, kind, similar hobbies, loves the outdoors and dogs. I'm pretty out of his league education wise, but he was nice enough to talk to so I kept contact open. Last night, he asked if I wanted to do something today. Oh, he's asking me on a date, cool. I ask him what he had in mind. "Oh, idk, I had something to do on Father's Day, but we can do something later! Figure we'd play it by ear. Maybe just hanging out." Red flag #1. I tell him I'd prefer solid plans for a first date. "Oh, we can plan something later then! Video chat tonight?"

Okay, fine. I'm obviously being too nice at this point, because this is obviously Red Flag #2. I tell him I'd be good at 8:30. I'm a pretty gifted intuitive Tarot reader and usually offer one to people I'm talking to (both out of a way to connect with them, and also so I can get a read on their energy), so I get everything prepared for that, which includes getting out my millions of decks, cleansing my space, and meditating. 8:50 rolls around and he still hasn't contacted me. I send him a message, "Hey, I've been waiting for 20 min and I feel my time is being disrespected, so I'm going to hit the shower and get some stuff done." He immediately calls me. I don't answer. Incoming flood of messages, "OMG, I'm such an asshole. I'm so sorry! I was having technical issues!" etc. Red Flags #3-27. Ignored.

Men who don't respect your time don't respect you. They think that you have all the time in the world to sit around waiting and pining for them. My NVX did shit like this to me all the time, and the disrespect only got worse and worse. Blocked and deleted. Ya blew it, buddy. Respect yourself and your own time, ladies!