hy·per·ga·my/hīˈpərɡəmē/noun

1. the action of marrying or forming a sexual relationship with a person of a superior sociological or educational background.

Source: Oxford Languages

On Reddit, you'll see hypergamy depicted as some evil thing women do that must be curbed at all costs. Guys will float possible combat methods from walk dates to government-mandated girlfriends. All to prevent the horrible outcome of women choosing the best possible mates that we can. I can only assume the men proposing these strategies are incapable of measuring up otherwise, and this is an attempt to level the playing field for men.

But why should we? Why should every man get a crack at having a girlfriend?

Biologically speaking, competition for mates is a good thing. In humans, it encourages people to do better. Why do men go to the gym? Why do they buy flashy things? Why do they (some of them, anyway) put any effort into their appearance? In the absence of women, men will generally resort to living in nests off of takeout for the rest of their lives.

For us, we face similar competition but with some differences. We face expectations to look fit (but not too fit, that's manly) and pretty. We're also expected to perform a certain way sexually - and this frequently mimicks degrading and often violent porn. Any other considerations like income or education CAN be important, but not to the extent that physical attraction and sex are. In fact, income and education are frequently pushed as the way for women to be independent.

This is why, first and foremost, women should do the choosing. Female mate selection favors resources and physical fitness. Male mate selection favors superficial factors.

When women are hypergamous, we're looking for someone with more money, more social status, and who is more attractive. Whether we measure up to that kind of man is between us and the men we want to date. Why are the opinions of self-styled incels, redpillers, and MGTOWers even relevant to this exchange? It's not our job to make the dating field accessible to men who don't want to pay the entry fee in the first place. Dating was never supposed to be equal opportunity.

And while I'm on the subject, let's debunk the idea that men are biologically hardwired to spread their seed and have as many children as possible. It's used to justify male promiscuity as if these men are slaves to their impulses. But this is actually a mating strategy for prey animals. It counts on most of your offspring not surviving into adulthood. And while that may have been a concern in previous centuries and perhaps some parts of the world today, odds are most of the dudes with access to Reddit don't have to worry about that. In fact, child support gets cited as a more pressing concern. So why are you fucking around, Kyle?

Humans aren't prey animals. But while most of us don't have to worry about half of our children being eaten by lions before reaching age 13, human infants are some of the most helpless animals. A "family" unit in which men fuck 3 different women and bounce isn't conducive to the survival of the next generation, especially if ideas like "child support" and "welfare" raise your blood pressure.

Therefore, the ideal strategy for women involves selecting a mate with favorable characteristics like an abundance of resources and the willingness to stick around. That's just biology, my dudes. You can shape up or shut up.