I met ‘Ryan’ on OLD. He was cute, exactly my type and we had many similar interests. I was suprised I had not seen him before.

He wowed me. He absolutely wowed me. I’ve gone through the handbook many of times but I’m still a pickme. I created a new OLD profile with FDS in mind. I’m speaking to men with FDS in mind. After talking to Ryan, he sweet talked me into meeting him and I was pleasantly surprised how considerate he was of the things I said, his communication skills and just overall how he was doing the bare minimum plus some.

He had mentioned to me that he was recently divorced in the last year. I asked him why his marriage failed and he kinda just gave me a bullshit answer. A few days later I asked him why his previous relationships had failed. He gave me an explaination of how he takes responsibility for his wrong doings but painted a picture of his exwife being mentally unstable and a narcissist. I had done some research before asking him this question and was surprised to see how much I found out about. It seemed like his ex wife was looking for ways to make money in sex work. Personally, I have no beef with sex workers. I did however notice some words from his ex wife asking about tips on sex work during the time I believe they were married. So he was telling me things about his marriage and about her, i thought ‘yeah this would make sense’. He tells me that she publically outed him on social media with outrageous claims that he beat her and exaggerated things.

I got home and thought about how I remember an old friend had posted something and I was like “was she talking about Ryan?”. I search for that post with Ryan’s name and it popped up, this post was from YEARS ago. My heart sank. I remember reading it before I knew who Ryan was. Now I read it knowing exactly who she was talking about. She explained that he paints a picture of his most recent ex to make it look like he’s the victim. My friend explained the abuse she endured while with him, she wrote about how he manipulated her and how he would prey on girls who she described looked exactly like me.

I considered immediately blocking him as FDS usually suggests but I called him and told him what i had put together and how I couldn’t continue seeing him. Luckily it seems like it’ll be an easy break, I chose to tell him rather than ghost him because I thought this would upset him the least this way.

I’m now thinking of ways to say thank you to the old friend who posted that message and has had it up this whole time. I’m thinking of making her a care package and leaving it on her porch with a thank you note. That queen saved me from some major bullshit and I want to thank her. Any ideas are fully welcome. I wanted to share my story of how awful men are and the ways they try to manipulate us.

This is just another step forward away from being a pick me.