My brother and I are both messy, but I’m messy in the sense that I might forget to put a plate away or leave some clothes on the bathroom floor by accident. He is messy in that he leaves food lying around for days, owns zero shower products, has a room that smells disgusting and leaves garbage in his room and car for weeks. I would call it unhygienic and disgusting.
It has been a common occurrence for him to leave things in our shared bathroom, half eaten food lying around next to the sink where I wash my face, even poured cereal down the bath drain. Worst of all was when he would pee in the shower but obviously after because it would be everywhere when I’d go to use it. All over the surfaces where soap and face wash is put, it’s fucking disgusting.
When I tell my parents this it’s always the same story, they will grumble a little, clean up after him and then make a very general comment to the family to respect our house. They often complain that I am so messy leaving clothing lying around, but 99% of the household mess is my brother or father. It is usually either pinned on me or I will have to spare my time and energy listening to my mother complain. When I tell her she needs to STOP picking up after them, she acts like she cannot hear me.
I have told my parents until I’m red in the face that they need to discipline my brother. That by cleaning up after him they are teaching him that other people/women are responsible for his mess, and they are teaching me that I don’t deserve respect and should just clean up quietly after him.
This doesn’t occur often anymore but when it does it just triggers me and I feel extremely angry that these are the lessons I grew up learning. It is no wonder in the past I have been a quiet pushover with no boundaries when dating men.
I hope this post is okay here, just wondering if anyone can relate, and if anyone has any solutions whether external or internal because ya girl is struggling.