~ archived since 2018 ~

I just want to say...

January 3, 2021

Even if a man has, is or does go to therapy does not mean they are worthy of your time nor does it mean they are good men or have, will change. Therapy may seem like a good sign but not everything is as it seems.


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[–]sassenachpantsFDS Newbie22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is so, so true. Sometimes they weaponIze the therapy against you.

[–]carltherFDS Newbie18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In 'Why Does He Do That," Lundy Bancroft says that therapy doesn't help an abusive man because no amount of therapy can remove or remedy their sense of entitlement. This has definitely been my experience with "therapized" men.

[–]Suspicious-Leg-1407FDS Apprentice20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I went to therapy for a few years. It was pointless.

I didn't know what to expect, so I got nothing from it.

Imho, therapy needs to be more regulated as a medical intervention. What are the expectations? What is success supposed to look like? What does a good therapist quantifiably do? What is the efficacy rate of therapy? What about the efficacy rate of psychiatric drugs?

These are all questions I have about the industry.

[–]shockingupdateFDS Newbie12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve been to three therapists, the last of whom I’ve been working with for over a year. The first two were too awkward for me to feel comfortable continuing because I didn’t know what I wanted from them besides an open ear to complain to. Because everyone’s mental health and life experiences are quite different, the only way to get anything meaningful out of therapy is to show up, set expectations with your therapist, and then work honestly with them for as long as it takes to see results. A process many would leer at for being “too vague” on paper.

[–]CairenneFDS Newbie7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

100 times this. I basically pushed my ex to sign up for therapy, which he does need, but it's not some magical cure all.

[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even if a man IS a therapist, he can’t always be trusted. See my post history for example. They can be narcissistic porn addicts and use their “experience” to belittle you and gaslight you more effectively.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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