I had a recent conversation with my mother over coffee about men and the conversation steered towards this beloved subreddit I’m a mod for. I explained how hard it was to reconcile my ambition with men I’ve met who see it as drawback. She gave me this advice and I’ll write what she says here: “I am an Italian woman aged 51, so I probably have a different take on the matter from most of you. I was never a beauty, but I've always been a strong-willed woman with a high IQ. All my family was by far more intelligent than me though. Between 20 and 25 I had 2 Northern-European boyfriends who were both good-looking and high-fliers, but I was profoundly unhappy because they never got that my ambition was as important to me as theirs was to them. I went back home and I was single for 5 years. I finally found a man who valued me for my strong will and my intelligence. He made me feel good with my real assets : we got married, have been married ever since and nobody has ever questioned the fact that I earn twice as much as he does as he takes more care of family affairs than I do. Breaking the mould takes guts, but happiness is easier to achieve when we take care of our real needs, not the social norms we've been handed down by previous generations. Or at least this is my personal experience.” The right one will see you’re ambition as an asset! Never settle for someone who doesn’t love all of you or it’s not going to be real.